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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my ds is almost 15 months now and has never really been a good sleeper.well i was trying to be more accepting of the fact that good sleep is developmental etc.. well i am getting to the point where i just cant take much more of this.he is up every 2 hours most every night.it takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to get him down for the night.and then he will wake atleast once before i go to bed for the night.i really like having him in my bed but i am beginning to wonder if he might do better sleeping in his crib or something.i am in a sleep deprived trance.i am forgetting things all the time.like my oldest has lunch at school on wendesdays and today i forgot to send her lunch with her!so she had to have cruddy school lunch.i feel horible <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and ds naps maybe one hour during the day.i think he is really tiered and that makes him whine and cry all day wich is also driving me up the wall.someone please tell me it will get better!<br>
thanks
 

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If your not ready for him to leave your room maybe a mattress on a different level than your bed (no box spring) next to you.<br>
Keep him within arms reach so you can put a hand down so he knows your there when needed but he won't feel the rustling of the rest of you.<br>
we did this from about 17 months to 25 months (last month) now he is on the same mattress but in his own room, and sleeps way better.<br>
My ds has never been a good sleeper either, but this worked for us.<br>
And talk a lot about his own bed, get some cute sheets with favorite color, or animal, shape so he knows and recognizes something special.
 

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What worked for us was starting dd in her own bed. She still comes to bed with us after she wakes up around 4-6am but she starts the night in her own bed. This way, no amount of our tossing, turning or moving can possibly disturb her. If she wakes up it's because she has to pee or has had a bad dream or is in need of munchies. It made a huge difference for us. She hated the crib, though, so we changed it into a toddler bed. I have to keep something soft on the side because she will occasionally scoot off in her sleep but for the most part, it's awesome. Now, if I could just cut out that middle o the night feeding, we'd be doing awesome, lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thanks ladies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> does anyone have any suggestions about lite sleepers? my ds wakes the moment i lie him down anywhere.i can get him to nurse down while rocking or something but the minute i move he is awake,and will only settle back down in my bed.
 

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I have a similar situation happening at my house! Our almost 10 month old son has never slept well...we've moved from co-sleeping and nursing every 45 minutes (at it's worst) to my husband and I taking turns sleeping in the babies room with him (on a futon on the floor). Even when we are sleeping with him in his bed, he still wakes up every hour or two (three at the most) and then needs to be bounced/jiggled/sung to sleep. I have recently stopped nursing him as often during the night and am now just nursing him twice (going 5 hours at the longest).<br><br>
I too am at the end of my rope, completely exhausted and feeling very much like we aren't doing him any favors by not helping him learn to sleep more independently. We are all exhausted and stressed out - his sleep at night is actually getting worse and worse, leaving him tired and cranky in the day.<br><br>
I have been considering doing Dr. Jay Gordon's plan <a href="http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp" target="_blank">http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp</a> which is basically a modified CIO except that you stay with the baby. (Please don't flame me for mentioning this)...I'm going to post a question regarding people's experiences with this method, if any one has done it).<br><br>
Anyway, know that you are not alone...
 

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After getting tired of being kicked and smacked by ds 5 and dd 2, but feeling that co-sleeping is important to both of them, we finally came up with this solution:<br><br>
twin for dd, queen for us, twin for ds.<br><br>
The twins are slightly lower than our beds so they can't roll next to the next warmest adult <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> but they are right next to us and we can attend to them immediately. Our room is wall to wall bed!<br><br>
They still wake occasionally but thats normal. My dd will come on to my bed and ask for a hug, then go back to her bed, cuddle her bunny and go back to sleep.<br><br>
I NEVER thought it would be possible to sleep all night again but this is pretty close!<br><br>
Dd was the type of baby too that I felt would sleep better in her own space but I could never successfully get her to sleep in the crib. After lying next to her holding her hand through the bars, I thought it was ridiculous and gave up the idea.<br><br>
Good luck!! Keep experimenting!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Jess,<br>
I was just coming here to post the same thing about my 14 month-old. Last night I just cried. I haven't slept longer than one hour at a time in about 2 months. Co-sleeping is important to me, too, so we might try a twin mattress next to the bed, based on the other posters' experiences.<br>
Here's to hoping that we both get some sleep soon! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<b>*bump*</b><br>
ok, hugs to you guys and to me, too. I am here looking for some ideas today. I don't have unrealistic expectations, but I know something must be not right because ds is 14 months old and I am a living, breathing zombie. I feel like my life is controlled by how many times I am awoken during the night. I can't do any kind of sahm work, I have to cancel with friends often out of sheer fatigue, I often feel so tired that I know I am unsafe to drive, even.<br>
Just last night I reached a breaking point. I just banged my head and sobbed. Today at a LLL function, another mom was complaining about her dd's *ONE* middle of the night waking taking her 20 mins to nurse her back down (she is 3 months if that) and I just started crying and really had to try hard to keep it together.<br>
There have been a few nights in his whole life where ds has slept more than 2-3 hours, I can count them on one hand. His 1st stretch of sleep at night is generally this 2 hour window, then nursing, nursing, nursing all night, wakes probably another 12-20 times. Wakes at the drop of a sock, or if I try to transition him off of me (i cannot sleep while being touched or laid upon generally).<br>
I can't handle cio, even "modified". I've tried everything I can think of. Tried elimination diets, co-sleeper, in the double bed, in the king bed, baby on the floor futon, sidecar crib (where we are at now), dog, no dog, cat, no cat, dh, no dh, homeopathy, chiro, conventional med, CST, chamomile tea, yes, we have a bedtime routine, don't let ds get overtired, yes, ds gets plenty of fresh air and exercise, no, he doesn't eat solids well or consistently. I have de-allergized the bedroom, got a mattress cover, don't use chemicals, have an organic cotton crib mattress and sheets, I don't wear scent, we keep him warm but not too hot........and on and on....<br>
I am so tired that I don't have the energy to think of what to do next except to put the rail on his crib and see if being further from me helps him tune me out.<br>
I am a science experiment, a study in sleep deprivation!!!<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><br><b>any and all support and suggestions welcome</b> (excep cio in any form, thanks anyway) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Dove,<br><br>
Big hugs to you!! I have been there too. This may or may not help, but our ds finally started sleeping decently (as in, usually all night long) at age 3). And things started to improve at maybe 2 1/2? I know that seems forever away.<br><br>
My dd wakes 3-5 times a night usually, which for me is not too bad really<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
So many people would think that is just intolerable, and to me, its a big improvement!<br><br>
No advice, just hang in there!!<br>
And a hug from one mom to another!<br>
christa
 

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If you can nurse him to sleep lying down maybe you could get him a twin size bed and put the mattress on the floor so he can't hurt himself falling out (and get a bedrail or something, we have a snucktuck pillow.) That way you could nurse him to sleep then get up and leave. That's what I do with Aly now and it works really well. She actually has a queen size (it was ours before we bought our king) so sometimes when she wakes up I just crawl into bed with her so DH's alarm doesn't wake her up in the morning.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> sorry you are having a rough time also<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> it is really hard when you feel so drained both physically and mentally.i think alot of it on our end if just flat out personality ds is a bit "highneeds" i think that has to do with him being early and such.but my oldest was also a bit hight needs.i just keep reminding myself that he will grow older and start sleeping better.it is really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at 3 am though.feel free to vent away anytime you need to.you are doing a great job <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> and i couldnt think of anything more to add it sounds like you are doing it all <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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thanks for hugs, suggestions and responses - I want to write more right now but am so beat...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...<br>
Will check in tomorrow...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> big hugs (and a yawn) to the fellow sleep-deprived!<br><br>
jmgl: My dd is just shy of 15-months, and I could have written your post. The exhaustion from frequent night-wakings is tough. I have been trying a few things:<br><br>
-A pp mentioned starting your ds off in his own bed. This has worked for us—dd no longer is awakened by us coming to bed. I nurse dd down and then place her in her travelcot. She’s a light sleeper too, so I check for what my dh calls “floppy arm syndrome”. Lift arm and let go, it must be completely floppy or she’ll wake up. Another thing that has helped is applying gentle but firm pressure as I place her in her cot. I put her in on her side and place one hand on her hip and the other on her upper back. She seems to hold her breath as I transfer her, and if I don’t have my hands on her she usually wakes up with the next breath she takes. I keep my hands on her until she’s resumed her sleep breathing and then remove pressure sloooowly.<br><br>
-Typically dd can sleep from about 8 until her first waking between 12-1. That first feed is always long and that works for us. What’s hard for me is the many wakings/near-constant nursing between 2-5. I’m trying to shorten these feeds by unlatching after a few minutes and moving away. Sometimes she’s asleep and it works, sometimes she protests for a few seconds and falls asleep, sometimes she won’t have it and we nurse longer and then try again. Maybe this will eventually help shorten or lessen wakings? The other thing I haven’t tried but will is putting her in her own bed again after the big nursing session.<br><br>
-Another thing I’ve started is talking to dd about nighttime. time for S to sleep, mama sleeps, dad sleeps, nursies sleep too. Maybe it’s too early, but I figure it’s worth a shot.<br><br>
-On those nights when dd nurses non-stop from 2-5 am and each time I try to sneak away a few inches she finds me again…on those nights I remind myself that 1)there’s a reason (hunger, teething, reassurance, etc) she’s nursing more that night and she’s preverbal and is expressing her need the way she knows how and 2)before too long I’ll look back and miss nursing. And on the mornings following those nights, I make myself a BIG cuppa!<br><br>
The pps’ suggestions for a separate mattress sound like they’d be great for a light sleeper.<br>
Best of luck!
 

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Thank you for support and suggestions, Christa, Vicki, Jess, and Floydmom. Dh and I talked about things last night and we agreed to try me sleeping in the other room with Leo still crib-sidecarred to the bed with dh in the bed. It actually worked pretty well. I ended up going in probably 5 times to nurse him back down, and while the intervals between wakings got shorter as the night wore on, I was able to slip away and get sleep without being touched, which is mega-restful to me. I think maybe b/c I am a light sleeper I must semi-wake at every sound ds makes in the night, whether I am conscious of it or not. The last time I went in, I just stayed there and ds nursed on and off for the last 2 1/2 hours. We will try it again tonight and see what happens.<br>
Just want to say that ds has never slept well from day one, so this is not a phase, I am really, truly sleep deprived (plus we moved across country at 5 mos preg and I didn't sleep barely the last 4 months...) ugh. I can really appreciate the sweetness of nighttime mothering, know it won't be forever, etc, etc, most of the time I am super zen about it all and really have no expectations, but between my fertility returning and having a hormonal shift, and just the neverending fatigue, I was starting to crack, yk?<br>
Thanks for the support. I'm subbing and will be curious to hear how you all are doing with things. Of course, I will wish you all my support and I will send good sleep vibes to you, too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/dust.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dust">
 
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