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At the end of my tether- help!

603 Views 5 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  Meg_s
We (DH, DD and I) either bedshare or have DD (6 momths) in a side-car type crib. She is starting to get mobile and I feel that I have to get her to sleep in the crib as I'm worried she'll roll out the bed. I nurse her to sleep and when I try to move her she wakes up and the process of getting her back to sleep takes ages. It's really wearing me out and I already feel pretty sleep deprived as she can wake up to 5 or 6 times a night. I feel like I am loosing it a bit having to spend so many hours lying on the bed nursing her to sleep.

I saw on another post these snug tuck pillows things which look great, but what about if she wakes up and attempts to climb out? I don't even know if we can get them here in Europe and they look like big things to ship.

We can't put our bed on the floor as we have a tiny appartment and have so much stuff under.

I also think that we disturb her a lot at night and I am thinking that when we move to a bigger place I'd like to at least try her in her own room and therefore own crib.

I don't have any support as I live abroad and DH works a lot...I feel like I never get a break and I just feel so worn out. I don't want to spend every nap time sleeping with her and I just feel if she would sleep in her own bed I would feel like I was getting a bit of a break. As it is, I'm hanging on the side of our own bed getting back ache so that DH and DD have room. I really though bed sharing and nursing her to sleep were working for us, but the demands it makes on me and me alone are proving too much at the moment. I feel really bad about myself and have even tried a pacifier a few times (something I said I'd never do) but it doesn't help anyway. It's me she wants! Or at least my breasts. I feel I can't talk to my friends and family as I think they'll say 'we told you so' or 'we saw this coming'.

Sorry if I'm rambling now...but I'd love some advice.


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Friends of ours that co-slept got bed rails when their dd became moblie. (Ds at 11 mos has no interest in moving anywhere so we don't use them). THey felt that the bed rails were useful to keep their dd in the bed.

I know it can be exhausting to have a child sleeping with you if they're not just sleeping. I went through that with ds, and though I can't offer much help, I can say that it will pass. You just have to wait it out.
Push your bed up against the wall. We had a snug tuck pillow which worked great for a while but eventually she climbed over it and fell out of bed. When that happened I pushed the bed up against the wall so she was between me and the wall and has nowhere to go. Our room is tiny and we also have tons of stuff under our bed so taking it off the frame isn't really an option. We had to do some rearranging to get it against the wall, but it was soooo worth it!
We are using the bed against the wall and corner method too. I had a bedrail for a while but this is much more to my liking. I rearranged our room 2 days ago and love the way that it makes us able to cosleep comfortably. DS does have a crib that he takes naps in, so that is a nice option. He will usually nurse to sleep for a nap or look so tired that I carry him around for a while, then put him in and he doesn't make a peep. That way I can get a break while he naps and I know that he is safe in his crib.
We also pushed our bed up against the wall. It's still on its frame and we have a bedrail on the other side. Ds (14 months) will either be between me and the wall or between me and dh so there's no way he can roll out. The bedrail is for naptime and for after dh goes to work in the morning. This works really well for us.

Don't give up on co-sleeping just yet. It may take some rearranging to make it work, but if you are able to get your dd back to sleep by nursing and then not having to move her you will most likely get enough sleep. (Even though I wake up several times a night, I feel like I get enough sleep because I will latch ds on and go right back to sleep and so does he.)

HTH, and good luck!
What kind of bed do you guys have?
I'm in Germany and we had those two small beds pushed up together to equal a double... DH needs his sleep because he works... so I put a "kids" mattress on the floor beside DH's single bed, and another adult mattress on the other side of the kids one. The kid's mattress is the same length as the adults, it's just not as high. Anyway DS (6 mos) sleeps in the middle, 99.9% time with me. DH is on the high bed against the wall, and it's like a little baby canyon in there hehe. I'm in there with him, and lie with him to put him down for naps.. and then join him at night time and the two of us sleep snugged up together in there. I put the other adult mattress beside it both as a guard for him to not roll off the mattress and as an escape from my little kickmonster.. but I generally can't escape without him protesting.

edit: I'm sorry, I didn't read your post properly.. I thought you were asking about a place for her to safely sleep!!!
Advice.. I'm hoping you'll get some too. DS does not sleep between the hours of 12-5am, he plays, whines, kicks, nurses.. does everything except sleep no matter how hard I try to help him sleep and he's a little jerk during the day because of it. Not like he naps properly during the day either. I'm at the end of my tether as well - looks like we're in similar situations, alone in Europe with a baby who doesn't sleep and no family to help out. I never imagined it could be this difficult and miserable.
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