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I'm right there w/ya, only our beast of burden is verbal abuse. I finally decided that while I don't know what I am doing, I know what I'm not doing anymore, and that is what I've been doing. If *I* break the cycle, do something different, change will happen. I have a degree, a brain, and I'm going to use both. I'm already looking at jobs and housing without dh knowing about any of it. Deceptive? you betcha. But the alternative is if I told him my intentions, he'd yell, break things, freak the heck out, all in front of the kids, and then he'd have an eventual cool down about ohh, I love you and need you and blah blah. I've helped to enable that behavior and perpetuate a bad cycle of abuse. Today I say no more. Yeah, it might suck in the short term, but I'm looking at the long haul and 3 other people (our kids). Life is too short to not enjoy it. I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off, and moving on. I wish us both luck on our new journeys.
 
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