[HeatherB]

I'd love some input. Struggling with my 7yo on practicing piano for his weekly lesson. At what age did your child "own" their lessons enough to practice independently? At what point was it not a struggle to get him to sit down and do the work?

I'm stuck between the idea that a child should take lessons when they're old enough to commit to doing the work, and then the idea that he needs some structured responsibilities, and that having something that's a little challenging (but not too much) is good for him.

If you have any secrets for making it less of a struggle, I'd appreciate it!

 

[DaughterOfKali]

My 6 yr old son did ok for a couple months but then just wouldn't practice and wouldn't do his 'homework'. I gave him a few warnings that if he doesn't start practicing like the teacher told him to, etc, then I'm canceling lessons.

So, he's no longer taking lessons. It was a waste of money.

I'll try again in autumn IF he wants to do it. If he doesn't want to play, I certainly wouldn't force it.

 

[kwilki8]

I haven't experienced this on the mom end of things yet, but I started piano lessons at age 4 and got pretty resistant to practicing at about age 7. My parents enforced practice time for a couple more years until I wanted to learn to play clarinet, when they had me choose one instrument. I gave up piano for four years, and asked my parents to allow me to take lessons again when I was in 8th grade. So the short answer is that I did not practice independently until I was 13. I am, however, grateful that my parents kept me in lessons when I was younger so that I could get enough of a foundation to keep playing around with it on my own, since that's what eventually caused me to want to improve.

 

[anywaybecause]

My 6-year old dd practices her hip-hop routine several times a week, for about 10 - 15 minutes each time. I don't set a specific time, or any sort of requirement, or anything . . . for her, it's b/c she

hip-hop. So although I'm certain that personal interest is a factor, I think that a 6-year old is "able" to practice a skill they are learning.

 

[Black Orchid]

DD is 5.5 and has bee ntakign lessons for two months now. She sits down every day and plays a handful of songs 3-5 times each. Only occasionally do I have to help her with rhythms, etc. Mostly I notice her not wanting to practice when she is frustrated.

 

[spruce]

My kids all take piano, ages are from 3.5 to 16 (and the 17 yo is a saxophonist).

I think it depends on your teacher structure...for us, we have a friend who has taught all of our children piano for many years, so she knows their abilities and keeps the little ones' lessons very short. We do fun things like paint their nails the colors of the dots we put (that day) on the keyboard, or write a number on each fingernail to teach them which is first finger, etc.

It's got a LOT to do with the approach to how the kids are taught. My 5yo is doing better, faster, than my now-13yo did at this time, because he's grown up into this style of teaching and of learning.

good luck! I can't even read music, so I completely rely on my friend and my elder children to mentor the youngers!

love, p

 

[LauraLoo]

Have you asked your ds if he wants to play the piano or would he rather give up lessons?

It's a simple question, I know, but if he doesn't care about playing, practice will be difficult no matter what you do or don't do.

If he says he really wants to play, then I have some suggestions.

 

[Whistler]

We are a Suzuki family and one of the things Dr. Suzuki promoted was parental involvement. The parents attend the lesson and part of the lesson involves how to help the child throughout the week. So no matter how old my child is, if she needs support I will help her practice. When she wants to do it on her own she may do so. When she is frustrated or bored I feel it is up to me to think of a creative strategy or game or something to get her over the hurdle and if I can't think of something to seek help from the teacher, other parents, books or web sites.

As far as expecting purely independent practice 100% of the time, that takes an awful lot of maturity. I struggled sometimes as a music major in college to practice consistently every day. In my experience as a private teacher and public school music teacher, it is a rare child who practices joyfully and willingly every single day.

 

[Yooper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whistler We are a Suzuki family and one of the things Dr. Suzuki promoted was parental involvement. The parents attend the lesson and part of the lesson involves how to help the child throughout the week. So no matter how old my child is, if she needs support I will help her practice. When she wants to do it on her own she may do so. When she is frustrated or bored I feel it is up to me to think of a creative strategy or game or something to get her over the hurdle and if I can't think of something to seek help from the teacher, other parents, books or web sites. As far as expecting purely independent practice 100% of the time, that takes an awful lot of maturity. I struggled sometimes as a music major in college to practice consistently every day. In my experience as a private teacher and public school music teacher, it is a rare child who practices joyfully and willingly every single day.

I second this. I have been playing clarinet for 24 years and I STILL do not practice consistently. Dd is in Suzuki violin and has been for 2 years. She LOVES it but I seriously doubt she would practice on her own accord if it were not a family thing. It is still up to her to decide if she practices and what, but I do set aside time in our day and offer my time for her to use. Most days she is happy to practice and some days she is not. I do not push it if she is not interested. I really think that kids at ages younger than 10 or so really have no motivation to practice on their own without an "audience" and some help with structure. I would most definitely drop it if it became something dd did not want to do most days. My parents took a completely "hands-off" approach. But I did not start playing until 10. I knew the consequences of not practicing and I was OK with the progress I made and the time I put into it. It certainly was not every day....or even close. Had I been forced to do it daily, I would likely have quit. Luckily, no one forced, I progressed slowly but steadily, and I am a community player in our local orchestra. Just fine for me

 

[water]

We are also a Suzuki family, and I agree with the above. I practice daily with my almost 8yo and my 4yo. I don't expect them to be practicing totally independently until they are 12 or so.

 

[HeatherB]

Thanks so much for the input; please keep it coming!

To clarify/answer questions on our situation... DS started piano last Fall, because of his own interest. He takes 30 minute private lessons with a teacher that we really, really like, at a studio a few minutes from our home. Early on, and as much as possible now, I work with him one-on-one on his practice work. Because of the baby, though, and his interest in the piano, piano bench, chair-that-he-uses-because-he-can't-use-the-bench, etc., I do ask him to practice at times when I can't be with him (when I have the baby occupied elsewhere). So, "independent" isn't exactly what I'm asking of him, though I do want him to get through some of his work on his own, some of the time.

As far as his current interest, I do believe he still wants to play. Today, I told him he needed to decide if he'd practice, or give up piano (for now - I'd be willing to let him do more later when he was ready, if it's just a matter of immaturity now). He stewed for a long time (using up all of my available time), and said he couldn't decide. Basically, he says it's "too hard," but when he plays he really gets into it and enjoys it. He doesn't want to do all of the drill of it and resists some of the things like counting out the beats and looking at the notes, not his hands (he memorizes the notes pretty quickly).

While we had a major meltdown earlier this afternoon, by this evening when I told him about his new practice schedule (first thing when he gets up, which is when the baby is still asleep most mornings), he was very open to it and had a great attitude.

I am also looking at moving his lesson to a different day, which will give me more time to work with him FIRST, then have him work more independently later in the week.

Thanks, again! Having insight from others is very helpful!

 

[flapjack]

For us, we also need to view practice time as "us time." Special time for Isaac and me, and I need to commit to that and find someone else to look after the baby.

 

[mommajb]

You know it varies by child. My 12 yo ds owned his piano practice from the get go at age 4. I still have to remind dd1 at 10 and now that dd2 is taking lessons... I have ds1 sit and help her.

Alice did do better when we added voice to piano. She really isn't inspired by the instrument so much as she appreciates having the knowledge in other situations if that makes sense.

 

[Yooper]

You hit on something I did forget....time of day. We have really noticed that the time of day is really important for certain activities. My lull in the day is after dinner. I dread doing anything that requires a lot of concentration after dinner. I am sure if I were more in tune with myself, I would notice other times of day that either are or are not good for certain activities. We struggle with lessons because our teacher only offers lesson times in the mid afternoon for homeschooled kids. Dd has a hard time during that time period. She is tired, unmotivated, etc..... While she has never been a napper, that is her daily down time if left to her own devices. we jokingly call it her "food coma time". The teacher is not able/willing to accommodate other times and she is the only one in our area. So, I have had lengthy talks with dd about this. She has decided to suck it up and deal with the once-a-week lesson at a time when she is less-than-thrilled about doing the activity rather than quit or pick a different instrument. But, that said, I avoid that time for practice opportunity. For us, right before lunch is ideal. We are lucky that we have almost limitless options for scheduling our day. I really cannot imagine how hard it would be for dd to pursue interests that take a great deal of concentration with a restricted schedule (as in going to school). This is why I think I am less in tune with my own rhythms.....a lifetime of school and work.... I know the day will come, sooner or later, when dd will not have the choices she has now, but I am hoping that fostering these rhythms as much as possible now will at least give her valuable awareness.

I have heard of many Suzuki kids that practice when they first wake up. I sounds like you are on to something.

 

[LauraLoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeatherB Basically, he says it's "too hard," but when he plays he really gets into it and enjoys it. He doesn't want to do all of the drill of it and resists some of the things like counting out the beats and looking at the notes, not his hands (he memorizes the notes pretty quickly).

I agree with the other pp's that indicated a family approach or a practice partner is the way to go.

But specifically addressing the above -- I think you might need to coach him through the hump of learning something new. Learning new pieces and drills *is* hard, but that's why you practice every day. It's like learning to ride a bike -- it doesn't happen the first couple of times. My ds really responds to metaphors, so I use this approach a lot. You might also want to go way back to the beginning to a piece and ask him if he remembers when that was hard, but now it probably seems very simple.

Does he practice *at all?*

 

[Bell]

Does he enjoy playing the piano??

 

[MusicianDad]

Hmm...

1) I wouldn't force him to not look at the keys, just encourage it. He's still learning, and part of that is still learning where things are. The more confidant he gets the less he'll look down. I know a lot of people will likely disagree with me on this point, but DD found it much easier to practice when she started if I let her make sure she was hitting the right keys until she felt confidant in her abilities.

2) Scales and beat counting are boooooooring! I can't really blame him for fighting that. I can understand the reason to practice them, but being the one who taught myself to play I can understand the reasons not to focus to hard on them. You learn the notes eventually...

When DD practices we have a set up, start with a song she knows, work on the basics mixed in with a song she's learning (not so much the basics anymore, but I still occasionally hear a C scale if she starts getting frustrated) and end with something of her choosing. Playing the piano should be fun, but went it gets to be all about the technique then it's not so much. Plus I've heard the result of someone who learned that proper technique is the be all, end all of playing the piano and nice? Yeah, great and enjoyable? Not so much...

 

[HeatherB]

Thanks again for the comments and input. He's practiced first thing for two days now. The nice thing, for him, is this is all review again, so there's none of the difficulty in getting familiar with it.

He's not complaining at all about the practice (though he didn't do enough this morning, in favor of getting to the Wii faster

), so I'm happy about that.

I will definitely be looking for more time to sit down with him and work on his new pieces together. I may need to switch his lesson day, but we'll get that to work, as I do think it's critical for him.

He DOES like playing, and he does do *some* practice every week. The problem has come when he's only practiced a total of 15-20 minutes in the week, and therefore hasn't gotten over all of the rough spots in his work. Then, he'll just come home with the same lessons to do again! Oftentimes, he was getting into a funk when I had time available to work with him (generally later in the day), which meant we got nothing done. So, this new set up of first-thing in the morning practice seems to be helping a lot.

Thanks again! I'm hoping we're on the way to creating good habits that he'll be happy to keep up.

 

[mommy68]

I've always been told 7 or older by everyone I ask.

I'd love to get my DD in to lessons now that she is 7 but she has no interest.

 

[Lindsay1234]

:
7 yr old dd in violin here, gonna watch for suggestions!