No one here talks about them much. Maybe it's because, as attached MDC mamas, we've done an effective job in dealing with those issues? I hope so...
Dd came to us at not quite 13 months. She had some of the classic aversive attachment signs over the first months - wouldn't sit still in my lap or let us hold her, agitated behaviors, clumsiness and a seeming disconnect about her own safety.
I did everything I could think of to bond with her. Touched her constantly, sang love songs, held her in front of the mirror all the time saying 'look at how much I love you! Look at what a good mama you have!', bottle nursed her constantly, was instantly attentive to every whimper, carried her everywhere - no strollers, walkers, etc, coslept, fussed and carried on dramatically over every slight bump or scratch, hand fed her solid foods, and told her about five hundred times a day that she was my baby, I loved her forever, she was mine, mine, mine, mine, mine...
It worked slowly and consistently, and everyone agrees she is securely and deeply attached in a healthy way.
How about you other good mamas? How have things gone for you and your dc?
Dd came to us at not quite 13 months. She had some of the classic aversive attachment signs over the first months - wouldn't sit still in my lap or let us hold her, agitated behaviors, clumsiness and a seeming disconnect about her own safety.
I did everything I could think of to bond with her. Touched her constantly, sang love songs, held her in front of the mirror all the time saying 'look at how much I love you! Look at what a good mama you have!', bottle nursed her constantly, was instantly attentive to every whimper, carried her everywhere - no strollers, walkers, etc, coslept, fussed and carried on dramatically over every slight bump or scratch, hand fed her solid foods, and told her about five hundred times a day that she was my baby, I loved her forever, she was mine, mine, mine, mine, mine...
It worked slowly and consistently, and everyone agrees she is securely and deeply attached in a healthy way.
How about you other good mamas? How have things gone for you and your dc?