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(There may have been a post already about this but this search function is not very helpful)<br><br><br>
Do you feel your attachment parenting affected (or affects) your ASD child? In what ways? Or does your child's condition affect your ability to practice attachment parenting?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jaye</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9874636"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">(There may have been a post already about this but this search function is not very helpful)<br><br><br>
Do you feel your attachment parenting affected (or affects) your ASD child? In what ways? Or does your child's condition affect your ability to practice attachment parenting?</div>
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To me, AP is about being in tune with your child and being able to meet their needs. My child's condition does not affect my ability to practice AP. I may not do it according to the books or what have you, but I do what is best for my child and have a very close, loving relationship with them. AP is about doing what is best for your child so they have all the tools to become a happy, well balanced adult.
 

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On the one hand, I can remember wondering what happened to all my AP ideals; DD1 (ASD) wanted no part of babywearing, Bf didn't work out (for unrelated, tho still heartbreaking, reasons), and co-sleeping was short-lived.<br><br>
On the other hand, I think her ASD has really helped us be more AP in the long run.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kodama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9874876"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">To me, AP is about being in tune with your child and being able to meet their needs.</div>
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This is really the crux of it for us. We really had to throw away all the parenting books and advice and learn to follow her lead and her needs. It's so easy to get caught up in what "should" be happening (like with development), that I found it very freeing to throw all of that out the window. She's autistic, she operates at her own pace and in her own way, and she's an incredible child. Honestly, before we had kids, I never would've thought I had it in me to handle what I now deal with on a daily basis. I really think my AP beliefs helped me to get to this place.
 

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I think all the time he spent getting his needs met by me and dh really strengthed the connection he feels with us, and to this day runs to either of us for reasurance if scared or hurt. If I had left him alone in a crib with a bottle, crying it out I dont think he would have such a great bond!!<br><br>
We have also had to temper our ideals with what meets his needs best at times though. At 2 1/2 he was too heavy for me to wear anymore yet unable to manage walking so we did purchase a stroller, which we would not have been open to with our first. He also sleeps in a crib now (usually with his brother mind you) as his sensory stuff was making it impossible to stay in our bed.
 

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no not really... the co-sleeping thing is getting harder as he gets older and doesnt want to sleep, but thats about it. I agree its about being in tune with the needs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I believe that attachment parenting is the one thing that kept DS1 grounded and relatively high-functioning during his most difficult periods. He would not breastfeed, but he was physically on my body for most of his first 4 years...I often felt that I was the anchor that kept him from completely drifting away.<br><br>
We did not start out as AP, but DS1 made us believers in his first 2 months. Attachment parenting is about responding to the child's needs and developing a strong emotional bond...the best medicine for ASD, I think.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Fay</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9877564"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Attachment parenting is about responding to the child's needs and developing a strong emotional bond...the best medicine for ASD, I think.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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Thanks for your responses. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Someone who works with my child was suggesting that some of his strengths are due to the things we've done since he was a baby. (I'm not really comfortable w/ the whole attachment parenting laundry list - to me it's just intuitive parenting). And while I'd like to think it's had a positive affect, I'm not really sure so wanted to know what other's had experienced.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> you do have a postive effect on him.
 

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I have struggled with wondering if my AP parenting was worth it for my son who is now 5 with a diagnosis of ADHD/Asperger's. He is not an easy child to parent and it took a lot of work to give him what he needed especially as an infant/toddler. But he does have a strong bond with me which I think is an anchor for him in life. I agree that it is all about meeting their needs wherever they are. I also had to throw out the parenting books including the AP ones, he just did not fit in any guide. On the other hand, I can't help but think if he was not parented gently and left to cry it out how much worse off he would be. I have struggled to accept that I did not get the secure, independent child that some of the AP books promised. DS is riddled with anxiety which I don't seem to be able to help.<br><br>
His 2 yo brother who is neurotypical however has a rock solid sense of security (from AP or personality?) which I always hoped his brother would also have.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Kodama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9874876"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">To me, AP is about being in tune with your child and being able to meet their needs. My child's condition does not affect my ability to practice AP. I may not do it according to the books or what have you, but I do what is best for my child and have a very close, loving relationship with them. AP is about doing what is best for your child so they have all the tools to become a happy, well balanced adult.</div>
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This exactly.<br><br>
When the other sub forums of MDC visit the SN forum they may look at what we do and say "WTH? That's not AP". We just have a different idea of what AP is. We may not follow the "guidelines" but we are in tune with our children and try our darndest to incorporate our core beliefs... but most of us have realized our kids have their own agendas and needs and those trump everything else. Which, if you think about it, is the true meaning of AP. Not a checklist.
 

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I think my own personal breed of AP worked well with my kiddos. I nursed them all and I carried them everywhere. I think this especially helped DS1. He always wanted to be held tightly and I swaddled him until his second birthday. But I would swaddle him and then hold him, or nurse him, or carry him in the sling. And I think that helped him a lot, and the two of us have a good bond.<br><br>
When I was pregnant with DD I latched onto attachment parenting something fierce but now that I'm a mama of three and have SN kids I really think that parenting is more about what works for me and my kids.<br><br>
I used to be judgmental and now I try hard not to be. In Walmart the other day we say a kiddo who looked about 4 with a pacifier in her mouth. That would have caused all kinds of outrage in my new-mama-AP-craze. But I just shrugged it off because I really don't know what is going on with that child and what needs she may have.<br><br>
I do still have strong parenting views and strong views on child development. But they're tempered now by reality. I have a pretty natural home and these huge brightly-colored visual schedules with their cartoon-y pictures don't fit in too well, but my kids need those.<br><br>
And my Nintendo DS doesn't fit in well but at night after they're finally asleep sometimes I need a break!<br><br>
Heh. So I think that AP did help me and my kiddos. But now I just think I need to do what resonates with me and what works with them.
 
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