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X-posted in the UC forum, a local mama suggested I post here as well.
From my blog, written for a different audience:
Xander Alden was born at 2:24am on Sunday, March 29th. He was 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 inches long (there was some confusion over this, but his chart finally cleared that up). Two hours after my water broke, active labor kicked in. The first two hours I was somewhat in doubt that it was really happening and from there on out, things went very fast and got so very intense. It was only 10 hours from the first contraction to birth, a bit fast for a first labor.
I started involuntarily pushing at 7cm and started to get that feeling that unless I was completely wrong about what full dilation feels like, things were about to get rough. I fought the urge to push as much as I possibly could (I'm sure the neighbors loved the noise) but by the time I hit 9.5cm, I felt that my cervix was too swollen and I couldn't feel Xander making any downward progress after trying my best to push past the lip. By then, Joe was getting panicked and I was in a lot of pain and having trouble focusing on making pushing effective so we made the decision to transfer to Mercy Hospital. I tried the best I could, but the truth was that I was unprepared for how fast and intense labor was and got scared. I absolutely do not regret attempting an unassisted birth.
The ride to the hospital was agonizing and by the time we got there, I could barely stand, let alone walk through the contractions. Somehow we made it up to labor and delivery (why did that have to be the top floor?), I screamed personal information at the intake nurse inbetween contractions and involuntary pushing and was wheeled into a delivery suite. After some blood work and a hep lock, the OB made his way in (he told me later that his speciality is actually pelvic surgery, good thing I showed up right at the end of labor and not the beginning, can't imagine what his c-section rate is). I was offered the option of an epidural....yeah....at 9.5cm. Of course I said "hell yes!" knowing full well that there was no way I was going to get one, it was purely psychological. A cervical check concluded that I was indeed at the very edge of full dilation but had a swollen anterior lip preventing baby's head from entering the birth canal. With some rough handling, the OB pushed the edge of my cervix over baby's head. From that point on, his fingers did not leave my vagina which increased the pain to blinding levels. Pushing while flat on my back inbetween arguing with nurses and the OB didn't really help matters either. Eventually, I got Xander's head past my pelvic bone and all that was left to do was push him out. This is where it got really ugly between me and the OB. His fingers were still in my vagina even though they did not need to be and no amount of protest from me got them out. As the head began to crown (let me remind you that I'm still flat on my back and now pushing against gravity), the OB said the word "cut" and I knew he was reaching for the scissors to preform an episiotomy. He actually had the gall to tell me that there was no possible way that Xander's head was going to fit through my vaginal opening. So as my baby's head is crowning, I'm having a screaming match with the OB about my right to choose tearing over being cut. He of course threatens that I'm going to wind up with a 4th degree tear straight into my rectum, incontinence, inablility to have more kids, etc. When I demanded the liability release form, he realized I was dead serious about not being cut and agreed to "let" me continue pushing (again, his fingers are STILL in my vagina). I did indeed manage to push my baby's head out through the opening that was supposed to be too small, even with fingers (with another now jammed up my rectum) in the way and of course I tore into my perinium and labia, both second degree.
Xander came out pink and crying, blowing away the OB's "blue baby" claim. Apgars of 9 and 8 despite being pulled out once his head had been birthed and imediate cord clamping. The OB claimed they would put the cord blood into him down in the nursery, I could've kicked his face in just for that load of bullshit, but it happened before I had a chance to argue. He's obviously a bit jaundiced, but I'm glad he's such a hardy little guy. Because I had a slight temperature, he was whisked off to the nursery without my having a chance to hold him first. Joe stayed with him the whole time to make sure nothing was done without our consent. This is about when I heard the word "Cytotec" and again had to start fighting with the OB.
He didn't want to give me a chance to deliver the placenta on my own and started applying traction. I yelled at him to give me a chance to deliver it myself and did so very quickly, no Cytotec or traction necessary. I asked if I would be able to take it home with me and was pleasantly suprised when a nurse answered yes. After 2 hours of being stitched up, it was time to go down to recovery. The first time I tried to get up, my blood pressure plummeted to 50/30. Luckily, I didn't fall and a bag of fluids and some oxygen got me right back on my feet and down to recovery.
I had a few hours before the nursery finished doing their tests on Xander (I wasn't in good enough shape to go down to see him) so I caught some sleep. Joe came in with our little boy just as the sun was rising at which point I cried tears of joy at finally getting to hold and feed my son.
I'm disappointed I didn't get the gentle birth I had wanted for him and am a bit worried about the long-term emotional effects the birth will have on me when it all starts to sink in. We're still happily babymooning and my gorgeous little boy is keeping my mind in a good place right now. Thankfully, we still managed to avoid almost all of the standard newborn procedures and are doing well at home. I am so in love with him.
From my blog, written for a different audience:
Xander Alden was born at 2:24am on Sunday, March 29th. He was 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 inches long (there was some confusion over this, but his chart finally cleared that up). Two hours after my water broke, active labor kicked in. The first two hours I was somewhat in doubt that it was really happening and from there on out, things went very fast and got so very intense. It was only 10 hours from the first contraction to birth, a bit fast for a first labor.
I started involuntarily pushing at 7cm and started to get that feeling that unless I was completely wrong about what full dilation feels like, things were about to get rough. I fought the urge to push as much as I possibly could (I'm sure the neighbors loved the noise) but by the time I hit 9.5cm, I felt that my cervix was too swollen and I couldn't feel Xander making any downward progress after trying my best to push past the lip. By then, Joe was getting panicked and I was in a lot of pain and having trouble focusing on making pushing effective so we made the decision to transfer to Mercy Hospital. I tried the best I could, but the truth was that I was unprepared for how fast and intense labor was and got scared. I absolutely do not regret attempting an unassisted birth.
The ride to the hospital was agonizing and by the time we got there, I could barely stand, let alone walk through the contractions. Somehow we made it up to labor and delivery (why did that have to be the top floor?), I screamed personal information at the intake nurse inbetween contractions and involuntary pushing and was wheeled into a delivery suite. After some blood work and a hep lock, the OB made his way in (he told me later that his speciality is actually pelvic surgery, good thing I showed up right at the end of labor and not the beginning, can't imagine what his c-section rate is). I was offered the option of an epidural....yeah....at 9.5cm. Of course I said "hell yes!" knowing full well that there was no way I was going to get one, it was purely psychological. A cervical check concluded that I was indeed at the very edge of full dilation but had a swollen anterior lip preventing baby's head from entering the birth canal. With some rough handling, the OB pushed the edge of my cervix over baby's head. From that point on, his fingers did not leave my vagina which increased the pain to blinding levels. Pushing while flat on my back inbetween arguing with nurses and the OB didn't really help matters either. Eventually, I got Xander's head past my pelvic bone and all that was left to do was push him out. This is where it got really ugly between me and the OB. His fingers were still in my vagina even though they did not need to be and no amount of protest from me got them out. As the head began to crown (let me remind you that I'm still flat on my back and now pushing against gravity), the OB said the word "cut" and I knew he was reaching for the scissors to preform an episiotomy. He actually had the gall to tell me that there was no possible way that Xander's head was going to fit through my vaginal opening. So as my baby's head is crowning, I'm having a screaming match with the OB about my right to choose tearing over being cut. He of course threatens that I'm going to wind up with a 4th degree tear straight into my rectum, incontinence, inablility to have more kids, etc. When I demanded the liability release form, he realized I was dead serious about not being cut and agreed to "let" me continue pushing (again, his fingers are STILL in my vagina). I did indeed manage to push my baby's head out through the opening that was supposed to be too small, even with fingers (with another now jammed up my rectum) in the way and of course I tore into my perinium and labia, both second degree.
Xander came out pink and crying, blowing away the OB's "blue baby" claim. Apgars of 9 and 8 despite being pulled out once his head had been birthed and imediate cord clamping. The OB claimed they would put the cord blood into him down in the nursery, I could've kicked his face in just for that load of bullshit, but it happened before I had a chance to argue. He's obviously a bit jaundiced, but I'm glad he's such a hardy little guy. Because I had a slight temperature, he was whisked off to the nursery without my having a chance to hold him first. Joe stayed with him the whole time to make sure nothing was done without our consent. This is about when I heard the word "Cytotec" and again had to start fighting with the OB.
He didn't want to give me a chance to deliver the placenta on my own and started applying traction. I yelled at him to give me a chance to deliver it myself and did so very quickly, no Cytotec or traction necessary. I asked if I would be able to take it home with me and was pleasantly suprised when a nurse answered yes. After 2 hours of being stitched up, it was time to go down to recovery. The first time I tried to get up, my blood pressure plummeted to 50/30. Luckily, I didn't fall and a bag of fluids and some oxygen got me right back on my feet and down to recovery.
I had a few hours before the nursery finished doing their tests on Xander (I wasn't in good enough shape to go down to see him) so I caught some sleep. Joe came in with our little boy just as the sun was rising at which point I cried tears of joy at finally getting to hold and feed my son.
I'm disappointed I didn't get the gentle birth I had wanted for him and am a bit worried about the long-term emotional effects the birth will have on me when it all starts to sink in. We're still happily babymooning and my gorgeous little boy is keeping my mind in a good place right now. Thankfully, we still managed to avoid almost all of the standard newborn procedures and are doing well at home. I am so in love with him.
