Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,827 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When my ds was off perschool for Thanksgiving break, he was so sweet and nice! But now that he is back at school he is a little s*** and I hardly want to be around him!<br><br>
I figure its some kind of "survival" thing because he has to conform in order to fit in.<br><br>
Do your kids turn into different people when the school year is on?<br><br>
He makes fun of me, he hit my pregnant belly the other day and when I asked him not to, he laughed at me in an evil, cartoon like laugh, etc. This is not my child. He doesnt act like this otherwise.<br><br>
He is mischevious alot of times, but never ever just mean to be mean-to hurt someone else.<br><br><br>
(Please dont move this to the school forum-I would like to get answers from HS'ers who have experienced school as well. I feel this is a parenting issue.)<br><br>
I made dh a promise that I would make ds finish out the year so he would learn about commitment <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">I know, its rediculous) but I am really trying hard to keep that promise!<br><br>
Its hard when he is learning so much bad stuff though!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,517 Posts
He might be learning bad stuff, but I think it's more likely actually that he is using up his "behaving" energy at school and then coming home "on empty." Kind of like after a long day at work I sometimes come home just wanting space.<br><br>
Whether that's good or bad depends a lot on your viewpoint. I definitely wouldn't want my child stressed out trying to conform in an environment he didn't like and which didn't respect him. BUT just because something takes effort and energy doesn't immediately make it bad. It really depends. It's like yes, having a sibling changes a child's life, and may cause times they have to wait/share/etc., but it doesn't mean having a sibling is bad for them.<br><br>
On a practical level when my son has a day or adjustment period like that I try to make the evening as stress-free for him as possible and also try to plan my day so that there is really that space for him to come home and have a half hour or more to "do whatever" - easy to say with one child!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,827 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
It may be. thats a good perspective.<br><br>
Its not just in the evenings though. Mornings too...and afternoons....bedtime.....weekends....(Its like he is "detoxing" on the weekend-and by sunday afternoon he is my little boy again....and then we start all over again monday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)<br><br>
I am not really looking for him to "behave" so much....I just want us to be respectful of eachother (as much as a 4 yr old can understand that)<br><br>
He is normally a very compassionate child-he is the first one to offer a hug, etc. Just not when he is a student....then he looses all of those pieces of himself that I love so much. The things that make "him" "him."<br><br>
But on the bright side, he is learning to trace.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
It could also have to do with snacks too. The snacks that I know about are: Oreos, Jello, Cheetos, Graham crackers with frosting-nilla wafers-m&m's, jellybeans, marshmellows. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
They said "We do snacks based on the letter of the week." (It's "O") I looked at the lady and said "We live in Florida, and it's Orange season! Why would you feed them oreos?!?!" She was like 'oh yeah." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
They dont like me. I mess with their junk food and stuff.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,824 Posts
Maybe he's having to be on his best behavior at school, and is letting loose at home?<br><br>
I can't say I see that kind of a difference in my son .. more than anyting I notice he gets bored and overactive at home and does much better on days he goes to school!<br><br>
Then again, while I do consider myself a GD parent, my son knows it WOULD NOT fly to treat me like that. I really put my foot down with how we talk to and treat eachother, kwim?<br><br>
I hope you find a solution soon .. I'm sure it's very hard to deal with the aftermath of preschool while being so very pregnant!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,827 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I am learning how to put my foot down about the way we treat eachother...<br><br>
It is challenging though because sometimes I just want to send the 2 kids to their room to play and pretend I don't hear when they are fighting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Sometimes I let them work it out themselves. Its messy sometimes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I get stern when he does something like that with me...but latley here is the reaction to me demanding he treat my body with respect:<br><br>
He talks over me, copys me, mimicks me, and makes fun of me.<br><br>
The longer I try to tell him, the more he does this behavior.<br><br>
It had to happen at some point I guess...I just think he is learning it at school.<br><br>
I cant wait to have him home. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb"><br><br>
Jenny
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,517 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>transformed</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9861112"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It may be. thats a good perspective.<br><br>
Its not just in the evenings though. Mornings too...and afternoons....bedtime.....weekends....(Its like he is "detoxing" on the weekend-and by sunday afternoon he is my little boy again....and then we start all over again monday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Huh that does sound like a lot of change! I might dig deeper into that one if that were the case.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top