|So, how do you guys deal with these types of situations, without destroying friendships or family ties?|
My situations are a little different, but still have the conflicts.
I have three brothers and two BILs.
My oldest brother abandoned his two children 10 years ago and has just now walked away from his "wife" and her two children (that he was with for 10 years) and is getting married again in October. And he can't understand why we don't really get along!
He thinks children and families are disposeable!
Then my middle brother now has three children and my SIL had her tubes tied so not to have any more accidents (they have 2 girls and a boy, so they have all they want). They think I am crazy, too.
Then my baby brother married a woman older than me that had two children already (nothing wrong with that), however, her oldest one is only 10 years younger than my brother! They now have three children together (which I helped to raise while she was in the military and did not want to get out to care for her children). SIL just retired and is raising my brother and their children (her other children are being raised by her mom). But they, too, think I am crazy because I WANT my children. (By the way, she is very nice, though.)
And my BILs, not to mention my FIL & MIL all think we are crazy too. They think my DH and/or I need to get "fixed" and stop having more babies. After every child they tell us that "this IS the last one, RIGHT!" You would think by now that they would know.
My Mom is not much better, she thinks that I am a failure and have wasted my life.
We deal with these family relationships by just not dealing with them. What I mean is that our QF beliefs and our family size is just one subject that we do not discuss. If it is brought up, we always answer in some cute silly way. Like if they as if we are having another baby we will say something like "well, not today!"
Or if they ask when we are getting "fixed" we answer "We seem to be working fine, can't you tell!"
That way we keep it light and just don't go into detail. If they insist (which they don't do anymore), we are very blunt and tell them our beliefs and that they don't have to agree.
At this point we live our life and they live theirs. We don't have a close relationship at this time, but perhaps one day things will change. We do what we have to do and they do what they have to do.