We have had discussions in the past. They should come up if you search. I've read the books and am experienced in how her view fits in. I'm not a Solter purist, but there has definetly been a role of the "hold and cry," in our house.
I think she oversimplifies, and most times when she might say Dd needed to cry, the primary problem was Dd was tired.
But it's a useful tool to keep in mind. Dd sometimes likes to be held very tighly when she cries, even though she struggles. I think it reminds her of tight quarters in the womb. It isn't very often though. Solter claims toddlers need this nightly. We go months between times she really seems to need this, and it's way less common now that she is able to talk quite well.
At night, she says "talk rocking chair," and we talk about the day. I think the crying in the rocking chair was the preverbal equivalent of discharging the day. Now she listens to me talk about the day and comments or adds or answers questions. I think the Solter technique set us up for communication, which was my goal. I felt that if my baby knew I was comfortable listening to her cry, I am on the way to having a teenager who knows I am willing to listen to things she may not consider so pretty. Anger, upset, etc.
I also like Solter's way of dealing with crying about a fall or other upset. Instead of shusshing Dd, or saying "you're OK," we encourage her to tell what happened and comment accordingly. Now she tells the story, asks for a tissue, wipes her nose, and is ready to laugh again.
There are two major discussions I recall, one in Parenting and one in Sleep.
I think she oversimplifies, and most times when she might say Dd needed to cry, the primary problem was Dd was tired.
But it's a useful tool to keep in mind. Dd sometimes likes to be held very tighly when she cries, even though she struggles. I think it reminds her of tight quarters in the womb. It isn't very often though. Solter claims toddlers need this nightly. We go months between times she really seems to need this, and it's way less common now that she is able to talk quite well.
At night, she says "talk rocking chair," and we talk about the day. I think the crying in the rocking chair was the preverbal equivalent of discharging the day. Now she listens to me talk about the day and comments or adds or answers questions. I think the Solter technique set us up for communication, which was my goal. I felt that if my baby knew I was comfortable listening to her cry, I am on the way to having a teenager who knows I am willing to listen to things she may not consider so pretty. Anger, upset, etc.
I also like Solter's way of dealing with crying about a fall or other upset. Instead of shusshing Dd, or saying "you're OK," we encourage her to tell what happened and comment accordingly. Now she tells the story, asks for a tissue, wipes her nose, and is ready to laugh again.
There are two major discussions I recall, one in Parenting and one in Sleep.
