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My in-laws are taking my husband and I on a 7 day cruise. It is 10 months away and I am already getting uneasy about being away from my DS who will be 20 months old by then. Am I crazy? He will stay with my mother who is thrilled to have him for a week.<br><br>
Can you please help me to recognize how this will be a good experience for DS? I am really looking for positive feedback, suggestions, and other ideas to make this a good experience for all. I do not want to cancel the trip or anything like that, just want to make the best of it.<br><br>
DS will still be BFing & co-sleeping at that time, so I am concerned about how he will adjust to the sudden change of routine. How can I help him to have a great experience? Open to any ideas! Thanks!!!
 

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hmmmm...<br>
Will his babysitter let him sleep with her that way you know he will be okay at night? Do you trust her 100%..also does your DS like her? If so I think all will be good, I know that if I went on vacation etc..Those would be some of my worries what else.........<br><br>
Maybe just to get through the next 10 months keep it in the back of your mind that if you just can not leave him, remember you can always bring him (i think, I've never been on a cruise) maybe ask about that just incase.
 

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why can't you bring him? you are not crazy, wild horses couldn't drag me away from my babies..... especially at 20 months, what a tender age
 

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20 months would be too young, for my dd and I, to be apart for 7 days. I am thinking she will wean between 2 and 3 but am playing it very loose. it would likely be traumatic for my little mommas girl.
 

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DH and I took a once in a lifetime trip to Portugal when DD#1 was 20 mo old. She was still BF, but not co-sleeping. She did fine with MIL, FIL and SIL. Funny thing is - I don't remember expressing while away...hmmm...Well - it was exactly 9 years ago! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Having said that - I CANNOT IMAGINE LEAVING DD#2...who's 5 mo old now...
 

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How could it be a good experience for him? I don't think it could. Why does it have to work out well for everyone? I'd bring him or stay home with him.
 

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I know this isn't what you're looking for, but this is hard! I agree, find a way to bring him. I mean, that's what I'd do, or else not go. To me, it's just NOT a vacation or a fun trip without the person I love the MOST. If it were just overnight, maybe, but an entire week seems kinda crazy. (sorry.)
 

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Sorry couldnt do it either. I would be miserable without my kids with me for that long.
 

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What a wonderful vacation - my DH and I had a great time on our cruise years ago! You have lots and lots of time to get ready for your vacation - maybe spend a night or two at your mom's and have your little guy sleep with grandma as practice - that way you will be there if he gets upset and your vacation will not be his first night away from mom and dad. You will all survive and chances are while your little guy will miss you he will have a great time with wonderful time with grandma and he will spoil him like crazy!
 

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I wouldn't leave my DD for a cruise--maybe for an emergency, but I could never have imagined leaving her at that age for a vacation.
 

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I know you are asking for support but I don't think this is okay. Its too young for a child to be away from their primary care provider.<br><br>
If I were in that situation I'd bring my baby with me.
 

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Neither of my boys could have handled that amount of time away from me at that age. My oldest son, who did not breastfeed, was not away from me & DH overnight AT ALL until he was four. Wait - there was another time when we were away from him for about 10 hours overnight when I was in a major auto accident, and I was terrified about how he might be doing sleeping without me as I was being strapped to a gurney. He was 29 months at the time. DS2 (23 mo, still nursing) could not possibly handle being away from me overnight.<br><br>
There is no way for you to know what your son's nursing will be like at 20 months. He may nurse very little, but he's likely to still be nursing a lot. It's not worth it.
 

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Your in-laws are <i>what???</i> Asking you to leave your <i>baby</i>?? For <i>7 days and nights</i>??? K, they SO do <i>not</i> get the Grandparents of the Year Award from me..... absolute balderdash asking you to do that<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Have they told you they won't pay for your DC? That your DC is not invited? I left my DS with gma/gmpa overnight, one night, in our home (vs. at their house) when he was 27 months; sure, we all survived, but DS was never the same around them, just too confusing at that age I think. And that was for me to be in hospital having DC#2, certainly not a vacation (and I didn't intend to stay overnight [wanted a homebirth anyway, but I digress] but was lied to by the staff and convinced I <i>had</i> to stay for various reasons, and opted to fearing the consequences of leaving). Oh, AND that included several 'visits' from DH going back home vs. remaining with me the entire time at the hospital. Were it me, I'd tell the in-laws, "How generous of you! Thanks! But unless I can bring DC along, I'm afraid I'll have to take a raincheck." How does your DH feel about leaving your DC? I simply cannot imagine, at that tender age, leaving any of my little ones. No way could I relax and have even the slightest of an enjoyable time, no matter who was looking after DC. Some people can I guess, but I'm certainly not one of them. Probably not an 'answer' you were looking for, but, seriously, I highly suggest really really considering the effects on your DC. Your DC will NOT understand "mommy and daddy are going now to have a little break, we'll be back in a few days, be good for grandma" at 20 months. Nor "no nursing for you, mommy's gone", etc. I suppose gearing up for it is an option, but spending the next TEN months preparing yourself and your precious DC for a 7 day stint without you, I just couldn't do it, really doesn't sound worth it to me<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: no matter how lux the cruise. Your in-laws can get over it, your little one might not. (disappointment about having you not go, having you go, respectively)<br><br>
You are NOT CRAZY, you are a good mama!! Your gut is telling you, scratch that, <i>screaming at you</i> that this is not a good idea. Your whole post sounds reticent...
 

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Nope, I would never do it . I would not enjoy myself, I'd know my child would be miserable and grieving without us there and chances are your breastfeeding relationship will be damaged or ended over the trip.<br><br>
SSSsoooo not worth it!!!
 

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I couldn't imagine leaving any of my kids at that age. In fact, I still couldn't do it with my youngest, who is 29 months old.<br><br>
Can't you revisit this plan with the ILs, and take your babe with you? Or wait on the trip for another year? (I still wouldn't want to do it, personally, but at least then your babe would be a bit more ready to cope with it.)<br><br>
I really couldn't have a good holiday with my right arm cut off, which is how it would feel. I'd love to feel able to give you some good suggestions for how to make this work, but honestly, I don't feel that it is a good plan and it brings a lump to my throat thinking about your baby being left home.<br><br>
Trust your instincts, mama, and find another solution!
 

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I would probably go. Yes, it's a long time. Yes, you will miss him, and he will miss you. Yes, it will be a significant adjustment, being away from you for a week. But it is only a week. And if your mom is caring for him, you can be confident he is happy and in good hands. I bet the two of them will have a blast.<br><br>
Relax and enjoy your vacation with your husband. It's obvious many women would be uncomfortable in your situation, but if you go on the cruise, you are not a bad mom. He will be fine.
 

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I could not and would not do that to a 20 month old. Absolutely not.<br><br>
MAYBE, if my 20 month old was night weaned and sleeping thru the night, I would consider a weekened getaway. Maybe. And only if I knew my child could handle it.<br><br>
My DS could have handled a weekend at Gram's just fine at 20 months. My DD? No way. 7 days and nights for both of them right now? Absolutely not.<br><br>
Kids under three are often quite cheap. There's a 'soul fare'. Usually 200-300 dollars. Bring him, or postpone the trip. I know that's not the answer you were looking for, but I can't in honesty tell you it's ok to leave your 20 month old for a whole week without a darned good reason. And this isn't it.
 

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Haven't been there myself (yet), but my good friends left their almost 2 y.o. son with grandparents and went on a two week trip to South Africa. The whole thing went over beautifully! Parents had an amazing trip, son had fun with the grandparents, and grandparents enjoyed getting to spoil their grandchild. Granted, he was not nursing at that point, which definitely makes a big difference in terms of disrupted routines, etc., but I think you can make it work if you really want to. I think having a "practice run" or two is a great idea. Maybe try talking to your pediatrician?<br><br>
Enjoy your trip! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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