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<p>We're graduating seniors, and a friend of ours (also graduating) and his family had a get-together last night for our friend and some of his other friends from school and his family, to celebrate that he's graduating and also so he could spend some time with his friends before we all go our separate ways. This friend <em>loves</em> our toddler, is really great with him, loves spending time with him, etc. He made it clear to us that he wanted our toddler to be there.</p>
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<p>There was a long string of things that ended up turning it into a monstrous night. To start with, we'd been told dinner was starting at 6- no big deal, good time to eat, not too long. Within the first 15 minutes we mentioned, while both my friend and his parents were there, that we needed to head out by 8-8:30. No one expressed that this would be a problem. 7:30 rolled around with no sign of food and kiddo was starting to hit his limit. We really should have gone home when he started showing signs of upset, but we didn't want to let our friend down and we also were really hungry, so instead we took him into a dark and quiet room for some down time and hoped that'd be enough. While we were there, our friend's mother came in and told us that she didn't expect the baby to be there and that she had pushed our friend to see if we could get a babysitter- again, our friend told us that he really wanted our kid there. I'm guessing he didn't convey this to his mom, or she just didn't want to hear it.</p>
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<p>Right before 8 they finally sat down to dinner and when we tried to, kiddo just kicked off and would not be soothed. We (my partner, me, and our friend- again, he really is great with this kid and really did want him here) tried to settle him, and his mother started saying "You know, you can go. This is [friend's] special night.".</p>
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<p>I'm just feeling very upset by all of that. I really wish we had been told that our toddler wasn't welcome, or that it would take so long. I'm really angry with his mother for her attitude. I'm frustrated that our friend didn't tell us his mom didn't want our kid there- then, I don't know that <em>she</em> made that clear to our friend. It sucks that one of the last chances to see our friend ended up being so horrible.</p>
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<p>There was a long string of things that ended up turning it into a monstrous night. To start with, we'd been told dinner was starting at 6- no big deal, good time to eat, not too long. Within the first 15 minutes we mentioned, while both my friend and his parents were there, that we needed to head out by 8-8:30. No one expressed that this would be a problem. 7:30 rolled around with no sign of food and kiddo was starting to hit his limit. We really should have gone home when he started showing signs of upset, but we didn't want to let our friend down and we also were really hungry, so instead we took him into a dark and quiet room for some down time and hoped that'd be enough. While we were there, our friend's mother came in and told us that she didn't expect the baby to be there and that she had pushed our friend to see if we could get a babysitter- again, our friend told us that he really wanted our kid there. I'm guessing he didn't convey this to his mom, or she just didn't want to hear it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Right before 8 they finally sat down to dinner and when we tried to, kiddo just kicked off and would not be soothed. We (my partner, me, and our friend- again, he really is great with this kid and really did want him here) tried to settle him, and his mother started saying "You know, you can go. This is [friend's] special night.".</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm just feeling very upset by all of that. I really wish we had been told that our toddler wasn't welcome, or that it would take so long. I'm really angry with his mother for her attitude. I'm frustrated that our friend didn't tell us his mom didn't want our kid there- then, I don't know that <em>she</em> made that clear to our friend. It sucks that one of the last chances to see our friend ended up being so horrible.</p>