[mamabear&babybear]

I have seen a few threads like this one and wanted to do a poll to see what people do or would do.

My mom visited about a month ago and while she was here she (half jokingly)told dd1 she is a bad girl.

: I don't want to get into my past but it was things like this that set me on the wrong path as a teenager.

Ok, fast forward a month to my dh's mom visiting us. She constantly praises dd1 and it's not the occasional "you are a great (whatever)". She goes over the top, high pitched, loud, super enthusiastic "what a big bite of sandwich you ate, your such a big girl, yada, yada, yada".

Okay, I meant to put a poll on but was interupted and apparently you can't add a poll after the fact. Oh, well.

 

[bdavis337]

My mother praises my toddler for using the potty - "what a good boy, oh, look at all that pee pee! Good boy!"

I either say nothing at all, or if it's been a rough potty day we might have a celebratory flush with some excitement, and sometimes we say "ooooh, wow what a lot of pee pee you just put in the potty! Look at that! WOW!"

So I try to make it obvious what I prefer to say, and make sure she can hear me. I don't make a big deal of it though. There are plenty of "teachable moments" for the grandparents. If we're eating a meal together, riding in the car, playing in the toyroom, anyplace where I would normally spend my energy encouraging and parenting my kids, I just do it a bit more obviously for their benefit.

Unless your inlaws are involved on a regular basis with your kids, it's often easier to just let it go and realize that not every adult in their lives is going to encourage and direct your kids the same way you do. They probably get praised in Sunday School, daycare, preschool, from other parents at playgroup......and it won't ruin them. What they get from YOU is what they're listening to right now.