Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 33 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,809 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I really want to get my dd a nice baby doll as a gift for when the new baby comes (I'm due in 2 mo), but here's my dilemma:<br><br>
Whenever we go to a toy store, or Target or whatever and dd looks at the dolls, she is just obsessed with the baby bottles they usually come with. She says things like "baby needs a bottle" or "baby wants a pacifier" if that's what it has. It's weird because she never, never took a bottle herself. We never talk about babies using bottles. Most of her little friends nursed too. I guess she got it from a book or seeing babies taking bottles in public or something...<br><br>
Anyway, I really don't want *her* baby to be bottlefed! I would much prefer that she pretend to nurse the baby doll. But, she seems to like the bottle part of the toy so much that I feel like it would be unfair of me to take that away from her (or not give it to her in the first place) for my own selfish reasons.<br><br>
So, what should I do? Should I just seek out a doll that doesn't come with a bottle (not easy), take the bottle out of the package first or just resign myself to a formula fed plastic "grandchild"?<br><br>
peace, Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
82 Posts
Hi Beth! Okay, I have not actually done this yet, but have been mentally preparing for this very dilemna. I have even tried it out on some kiddos at the local Y. You could offer that there is pumped breastmilk inside the bottle.<br><br>
Addie has had very limited bottle experience, but I know that the baby bottle image is everywhere. I hope, hope, hope that she pretends to nurse any dollies/animals that she plays with. Right now she just puts them up to me to pretend nurse!<br><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
462 Posts
I really would not stress on it. My dd has lots of baby bottles and although she "fed" her babies with bottles forever once she saw mw nurse ds she wanted to nurse her baby as well. then she would aslo use the bottle too. They are just babies themselves, and the breastfeeding instinct will still be alive and well once our girls are old enough to have real babies, but I would get her a sling or pouch for the baby, that is most likely something that she will want alot!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,809 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Well, she does make her stuffed animals nurse each other, and the other day she made a little plastic camel nurse me in the bathtub <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">. But, I think my main problem is that I'm *embarrassed* to have her bottlefeeding her baby in public! I don't want people think I condone such behavior in my home!<br><br>
OTOH, I guess this technically would be an "adopted" baby for her, so if she did have to use a bottle, it would be understandable <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">.<br><br>
Oh, this is so silly, I know! I'll bet she'll nurse her doll once she sees me nursing her baby sister...<br><br>
peace, Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
274 Posts
I just read your post to dh and he said laughing, "Are you sure that is not your post?"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rotflmao"> I have to admit I am guilty of throwing away babydoll bottles! When ds was born lots of poeple gave dd a babydoll as a "big sister" present and of course they all came with little plastic bottles. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> I agree with you Beth-TX that I don't want my dd to see this as a normal way of feeding babies! Dh also laughs because I won't buy books, baby cards, wrapping paper, etc. if it has bottles! I even got a really nice framed poem about motherhood as a shower gift and have not hung it up because it is bordered with a bunch of bottles!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> Anyway, you are not crazy or selfish, I do agree a baby sling is a great idea! Dd loves her baby sling and baby backpack!<br>
My dd does not nurse her dolls however because in her words, "I not have noonies you have noonies, mama!"(said while lifting her shirt) I have been known to nurse a stuffed Barney! Ha Ha!":LOL<br><br>
It is so wonderful to come here to Mothering and read posts like these and realize their are others who think as you do! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/pinktongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="raz">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,119 Posts
My DD has lots of baby dolls. Not one of them came with a bottle. If someone else gave her a baby that came with a bottle, I'm sure I'd throw it away.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: (the bottle, not the doll)<br>
She does nurse her babies, has been doing that for over a year now!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> She even has twins that she tandem nurses!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,706 Posts
We have one baby bottle for my daughter’s babies. I don’t even know where it came from…I certainly didn’t buy it.<br>
I broke my heart the day my daughter said that the crying baby must want a bottle especially when the only babies she knows were/are breastfeed!<br>
I must say that when I’m irritated about this sometimes it’s unintentionally directed towards nursing mothers (in general, myself included, although I wasn’t discreet) because they’re so “discreet” that my daughter doesn’t SEE what’s happening. She only "sees" bottle fed babies, KWIM?<br>
I have made an effort to show my daughter breastfeeding. I have the opportunity when my close friend is feeding her child. I only wish we felt comfortable looking closely at breastfeeding women we see in public. I know I wouldn’t have minded but it seems so taboo. I wish it weren’t.<br>
Anyway, I will let my daughter keep the one bottle she has but I wouldn’t buy one.<br>
I see a big distinction with bottles and pacifiers though as many breastfeed babies use pacifiers. Maybe that would be a good compromise.<br><br>
Edited to add: I just read the recommendation about a sling and I love my daughters, unfortunately she doesn’t…Anyway, I feel this same way about doll cribs and I don’t want to buy one even though my daughter would LOVE it! She makes then out of shoe boxes, which is at least using her imagination. We have a doll buggy/stroller, which is a must have for a kid where we live…EVERYONE has one. It’s cute and my daughter uses it every day.<br>
One more thing, I figure I may as well be choosy about my daughter’s toys because they seem to pile up even if I restrict some things. Where did all this crap come from???<br>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,809 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Hannah<br>
I agree with you about the pacifiers--I don't have nearly the same problem with them. My dd even used one for car trips (hated the carseat) when she was 2-4 mo old. The new baby may end up using one occasionally too.<br><br>
The sling is a good idea--I could probably make one from scraps left over from the big sling. That would be cute for us to have matching slings!<br><br>
So, what are some suggestions for good quality, bottle-less babies? I'm thinking about a Bitty Baby (American Girls)--they're really cute, mouths are not open waiting for a bottle, but they're somewhat pricey.<br><br>
peace, Beth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
500 Posts
It *is* extremely hard to find a good baby doll without a bottle, isn't it? I am like puddinnpeanut, I have to admit. I refuse to use any book, toy, etc. if it has a bottle on it. This will probably make me look like a freak, but I bought dd a book at Borders last week, and didn't realize it had a picture of a bottle in it. It was one of those pages where they were naming different objects. So I took a green Sharpie pen, and drew over it, turning it into a Christmas tree. Yeah, I'm insane about it!<br><br>
But the way I figure it, my daughter will see PLENTY of babies with bottles in her life; way too many, IMO. I can't see having those images here at home, too. If our home can't even be a safe haven from mainstream America, where can be?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
821 Posts
i bought my dd a "water baby" last weeek. it didn't come with anything except a rattle and sleeper. my daughter loves it. kinda heavy tho cuz of the water.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,888 Posts
I'd buy the most appropriate doll and just throw out the bottle. My mom used to do the same for us when we were little. I don't ever recall feeling like I was missing something - but then I didn't like dolls much at all, either.<br><br>
BTW, my daughter seems to know what to do even though we go out of our way to see nursing babies and avoid bottle-fed ones, just so the nursing seems the most normal to the kids.<br><br>
Both my son and daughter nurse the dolls they play with. Lift up their shirts and everything - so cute.<br><br>
I am another of those who won't buy ANYTHING with bottles on it. Even if I like it. And I absolutely REFUSE to buy any gift-pack with a bottle, no matter how good the other contents or how appropriate it would be otherwise. I even had a birth announcement that I really liked that had a bottle on the border - I used the announcement, but only printed one, covered the bottle with teddy bears, and took it to the printers like that. When I was pregnant with my daughter Sears was doing a free-bottle-with-purchase deal that they weren't really advertising - when I got to the checkout and was told about it, I left without buying anything. It just makes me sick how intermeshed the ideas of "baby" and "bottle" are in our society. Sick, sick, sick.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
427 Posts
I bought my DD a Fisher price doll house for her 1st Xmas.<br>
It has:<br>
- a Mommy and a Daddy<br>
- 2 twin beds that mommy and daddy dolls cannot fit into together<br>
- A baby in a strange rocking sort of bassinet thing that in no way resembles a crib or a bed<br>
- A button on the "bassinet" that you push to make baby cry!!<br>
- and a baby bottle permanently molded onto baby's hand, I guess so it could feed itself without any help from anyone <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Pretty sad. I can't believe there are no nursing baby dolls out there! You can get a doll sling, tho.<br><br>
I also bought one of those babies with a bottle. We tossed the bottle before long because it looked a little flimsy and might be a choking hazard if it came apart. My DD likes to give baby a bottle but I think she equates it with a sippy cup.<br>
I have done my share of BF baby doll too so I think she knows the "right" way to feed a baby.<br><br>
Most important thing to have in your baby doll is the ablility to buy extra clothes that fit! They can get pretty grubby.<br><br>
Yay! Today at me daughter's request I BF baby doll in front of my MIL. IT was sooo funny ! Now she's worried dd will start to BF her dolls "in public" ha ha I wish!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
211 Posts
I'm still trying to figure out exactly how I feel about this issue. I know that as a child, I was breast-fed AND had bottles (nope, it was formula) and most of the babies I saw (not THAT large a number) were breast-fed too, yet I don't remember "breastfeeding" my dolls. I DO remember giving them bottles; it was what you did with dolls. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> Did I ever for a second consider not breastfeeding my own children? No. Did I give my baby a bottle? Well, I pumped a grand total of two bottles, only one of which he grudgingly took from his daddy. So I guess that I can't get myself worked-up over a baby bottle (though having one molded into the baby's hand seems a bit much) since in my mind, a bottle does not equal a lack of breastfeeding. I think I'll be able to discuss this issue with my son (and with any other children I might have) when he's old enough to be interested and I'll try to do it in a way that doesn't condemn or give too much importance to bottles. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
500 Posts
Heather, I'm glad to hear you sufferred no ill effects from giving your baby dolls bottles and never for a moment considered not breastfeeding your baby, but I think the point is that that's not always the case, and I would rather not take that chance. I was breastfed and never given a bottle, and I remember seeing my little sister breastfed, and most of my cousins, too. But when I first got pregnant, I was quite of the opposite opinion as you-I never considered for a second that I *would* breastfeed. If I hadn't accidentally discovered the Sears in my last trimester, my dd would have been bottlefed. Why? because of all the images I was bombarded with throughout my life in our society that had me totally brainwashed. Breasts were sexual objects to me. Formula and bottles were so prevelant that I concluded that they had to be just as good or better than breastfeeding, or why would so many parents feed their babies that way? I didn't know any better. I just knew what I saw and accepted it as normal.<br><br>
Sure, bottles don't necessarily indicate a lack of breastfeeding, but usually a breastfeeding mom does not feed her own baby a bottle. She may pump and someone else will feed her baby a bottle while she is at work. Or she may supplement with formula if she leaves her child with a sitter. But when a child is playing with her doll and pretending to be its mama, she is the one feeding the bottle. And if you want to argue that that doesn't mean an absence of breastfeeding, then she should be at least pretending to breastfeed some, and give a bottle some, or have one of her friends as a caregiver feeding a bottle while "mama" is away. That would be more realistic if you want to go on the assumption that the bottle doesn't necessarily exclude a breastfeeding relationship. But I doubt that's how most girls will play with their dolls. If there is a bottle to use, chances are they will just use that.<br><br>
Furthermore, as I said earlier, my dd will see plenty of bottlefeeding in her life from society at large. How many images of a bottle does one have to see before one starts to think it is the superior way to feed an infant? I don't know. Obviously for some it may be more than others, but I don't want to contribute to that number, whatever it may be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,967 Posts
I bought two baby dolls, one pink and one blue, for $5 at Big Lots, no bottles. Then I bought a toy sling from the Attachments Catalog, which you can reach through Mothering.com. It was about $12. I am hoping that DD will start carrying the baby dolls (or at least one of them) in the sling when her little brother or sister is born sometime this month, just like her mama will. OTOH, she is really into blocks, and doesn't seem to really notice the dolls.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,056 Posts
DD was given a baby with a bottle for her 2nd birthday .. It erked me..<br><br>
luckily she was going thru a phase she LOVED to throw things in the trash..<br>
so after a few days of being annoyed by it I told her.. "kay lets throw this bottle in the trash.. your baby dosent need it.. babies are fed by their mommies" & we went to the trash & she threw it in & that was that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> she was so proud of herself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
she is still nursed.. & everynow & then I see her trying to nurse her babies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,743 Posts
I am another who can't abide the bottle images on cards, wrapping paper, books, etc. I don't buy things if I see them. I have a book that I stuffed under the bed after I found a bottle in it, even though it was otherwise a good book.<br><br>
Part of my thinking came from having low supply, and even though Dd got bottles, I wanted to deemphasize their role in our life and emphasize breastfeeding in every way.<br><br>
But I'm nuts about other things too. Dd gets no sugar. So the pervasive images of cookies and ice cream also get worked over. I've been known to take double faced tape and stick together offensive pages. Pictures of kids baking cake, which are also quite common, I remake into pictues of kids making hummous. The cocoa box becomes the can of garbanzos...<br><br>
And this little piggy eats tofu.<br><br>
Back on topic, if I found a doll I liked, I'd toss the bottle. I wish good nursing dolls were easier to find.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,701 Posts
My dd is 24 1/2 months. She has babies with bottles. SHe uses them, but she also nurses them (through her belly button<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: ) She just used the bottles until her brother was born 4 1/2 months ago. Now she does both, but way more nursing than bottling.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,400 Posts
Breastfeeding dolls:<br><br><a href="http://www.attachmentscatalog.com/gifts/dolls.html" target="_blank">http://www.attachmentscatalog.com/gifts/dolls.html</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,138 Posts
I am on the anti-bottle side.<br><br>
I have to admit I am a little militant! I just do not get it at all... Climbing into my LLL co-leaders mini-van and the floor having little doll bottles all over it. She is like, "Well, they came with the doll..." and I am like "So?! Toss them!!"<br><br>
I will not allow bottles in my house. Even when I had to pump and feed DD with the SNS, I threw away all the nipples of the storage bottles. It is just what they represent that really gets to me!<br><br>
I had a WIC nurse come to my house and give DS a toy bottle and a doll for a hand-eye coordination test. He was two and had no clue what a bottle was for. I said "No-" and she goes "No, it's okay- give him a minute!" I explained we do not allow them in our home and how it normalized something that is very abnormal and unhealthy. She actually had a light bulb moment and said she would change the test, that she agreed but had never thought about it!<br><br>
Now for my really psycho moment... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
We started going to a new church. I donated a bunch of nice new toys to the nusery. (Really nice ones, like a baby mozart cube and everything.) Their other toys were realy old and icky, but no one else could bare to throw them out, I guess. Some of them were bottles. So, I um... took care of the problem for them. No more bottles in the nursery now! Is that really, really bad?
 
1 - 20 of 33 Posts
Top