did you tell people of the name you've chosen prior to giving birth?
I did not tell immediate friends and family but I did rattle around some names with online friends for this last baby. With my older son I didn't and was surprised to find out how uncommon the name was perceived as being. It wouldn't have influenced us using it but I'd like to have known that before I made a firm decision. I wouldn't tell my family though because I did not want them to have input into naming. I do think its a good idea to ask around a bit just because sometimes someone notices something important you didn't know (like your chosen first and last is the name of a notorious serial killer, or that it spells something offensive)
would you ever take the name that someone else said they were going to use for their child?
I would never ever do this for someone I knew personally but if I happened to hear the name a distant aquaintance was using or someone online and I liked it, sure why not? No name that is a real name with any history or meaning is one of a kind. If you want a one of a kind name you have to make it up and then well, its made up.
would you be pissed if someone took YOUR name?
Most likely I'd be flattered unless the person was close enough to me that it would be uncomfortable to use the name again...like if my brother named his child an uncommon name I was planning to use.
would you discount a name you liked if it had any bad (can't think of the word) 'memories' around it?
It would depend what associations it brought to my own mind, in your case, if every time I used the name I remembered the stillborn child, I might not. I would not use a name that had bad associations for most people (Adolf, Pol Pot, Jeffery if my last name was Dahmer...)
there is a name i really like for a boy. i don't know anyone in real life who has it. i'd actually never even heard of it as a name until i came across it on another forum.
Is it a real name? One that has a history of use? If its a real name than it doesn't belong to that one child, its been used hundreds of times before. If its a name the person made up for that child and its truly unique I'd want to ask before using it. However its very very unlikely that its truly a unique name, even most names that people think are one of a kind are often not.
i LOVE the name. the more i think about it, the more i like it. but i worry that it's jinxed!
Your own worry that its jinxed is the only reason I'd think of staying away from it. Feeling weird about your child's name is not a good thing.
but i don't want to tell the name, as i don't want anyone to steal it!
Who do you think will "steal" it? Names don't suddenly shoot up in popularity from one person choosing a name, so if it rises in popularity it was rising whether you chose it or not. If you are concerned about friends or family who are also pregnant using it before you get a chance to than I guess you could keep it secret from them, though what if they chance upon the name on their own? You might be best off saying in that case, "we plan to use this name and would appreciate if no one else did" If you are worried about someone on a message board using it, why would you care? Its not like you are likely to meet that other child named something similar, and since you are choosing it from a message board post too, than maybe you are just feeling strange for "stealing" it yourself? Names really can't be stolen, because most, even the more unusual names have been in use for centuries and the ones that are newer and made up tend to be made up over and over again by people.
Here is one way to check it out though if you really just can't bring yourself to mention it or you don't want others' opinions, look it up at:
to see if its listed as a legitimate name with a meaning, this site isn't perfect but its better than many of the baby name websites out there. Try alternative spellings before deciding its not there at all.
And then also look at:
Which will tell you whether the name is in the top 1000 baby names for last year, again try alternate spellings before deciding it doesn't exist.