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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
any advice to a mama whose 10month old boy, ec'd since birth - pretty 'successfully' - as in, the communication was working well, dry nights most of the time, happily using the potty when invited, diaperfree and no misses for days and days, making signals when he needed to go, etc..

now is REFUSING to go in the potty, the sink, outside, etc. when we hold him in our traditional position or make the noise, he arches is back and screams..

we've experimented with supporting him standing for pees, and that worked a few times.. but that was weeks ago, and hasn't worked since. we've also tried distracting him and bringing toys with while we go to the potty, to no avail. this has been a two or three week thing by now, and i'm so discouraged. we've had to dig out our dipes for outings, and my honey is so tired of sleeping with our beautiful nakedbaby peeing all over our sheets and me trying to rearrange them all night long so we can sleep on the dry spots. (i'm not exaggerating. the other day he was telling someone that we always sleep in pee). i've bought a wool pad and that's helped, but i'm still getting pressure to dipe at night.. which feels like backsliding to me, because the days are totally lost, he pees wherever whenever, and poos, and he's never done that. so i feel if i give in to dipe at night, we'll have a longer road to return to ec (i don't want to give up!) ..because the nights are somewhat successful - we catch about 4-5 pees a night, and miss 2-5, depending.. (yes, he pees obscenely often, he is an allnight nurser).

my theories include - he's teething (6teeth in 2 weeks!), he's experimenting (perhaps the yuckiest part, he loves to splash in his pee and poo), he's asserting his newfound will? (he'll scream like we're beating him while we hold him over an appropriate place, just like we've always done *harmoniously* together, and seconds after i set him down, he'll pee on the floor).. any experience with these theories?

also, he does still seem to know when it will happen, he often gets quiet, or moves off of the bed or carpet (but just as often does not).

please offer advice support and most of all encouragement! what did you do?

thanks so much, and blessings to all you wonderful mamas.
 

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nak

no advice as we haven't btdt but i can offer encoragement and a big hug!
i know that for us when i got some sole mama time to relax, which i really needed
, that this first spell of catching nothing for a few days finally broke. i'm sure the more experienced mamas will be along soon!
 

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Hhrrmmm...


How mobile is he?? If you asked him to crawl to a prefold to pee think he would?? Maybe he wants to do it on his own??

How about privacy?? That's my 9 mo old's thing these days...he won't go in an open area or with other people watching. He's fine with me being there, but if he can see anyone else he won't go. If he needs a little reassuring I'll lean in close and say softly to him "honey, it's okay, there's no one else looking now, can you please try to pee before we get in the car, just relax and try to go if you have to...etc."

And also, how many misses did it take before you opted for dipes?? Are you sending any mixed signals with your diapering?? Do you sometimes diaper with the intention of not ECing for the time being??

Hang in there mama, you'll figure this out!

What would be happening if diapers weren't an option??
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
thank you so much for your encouragement! i'm feeling hopeful about those really great ideas..
he's incredibly mobile, a very fast crawler - i'm not sure he'd go on a prefold, but i'm going to try for the rest of the day. he mostly doesn't like the feeling of being held down anywhere (you should hear him protest the car seat) - so i think that's one reason he's boycotting the potty. maybe if i leave a prefold out, he'll go to it with encouragement.
also, the privacy issue is interesting, we live in a one-room yurt (mama papa and babe), so i'm not sure when that would have come up, but i can work with that, too. i actually feel a little chagrined that it didn't occur to me that my child might need privacy (although there have been plenty of times that his papa or i have tried to pee him just one of us, with no one else around).. hmm.. i'll try to offer more privacy, i like how you describe leaning in and whispering reassurances.
it took several days of refusals and him fighting it and peeing everywhere before we opted for diapers - we still go naked at home and basically always keep a prefold nearby where we are - and going out, he sits naked on a prefold in the carseat (and usually wets it), and on a prefold in the sling.. but when we're in the world for a few hours or more (yoga class, grocery run, etc), we've been diapering; and it's not instead of ec, we still try (we get to class, and first thing, i take him to the potty; he's been naked in his carseat, and offer the potty before class, and then dipe him, and explain that we'll try to potty later, this is just in case, and of course he can use it if he needs to, or he can let me know and i will take him to the potty, either way is okay).

he just so clearly seems to be telling us that he doesn't want to use the potty. and i'm torn between not forcing or pushing - lrtting him know we respect his choices; and encouraging him to continue growing & learning with us..
 

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Just figure I'll throw one more thing out there. With my guy he went through about a week where he just hated to be put on the potty. One thing I found helped (aside from the no-fail bush) was to get him in the pottying position before putting him on the potty, then lowering him down onto it. I don't know why, but when I held him in front of the potty in preparation for him to sit back onto it he'd arch his back and protest quite loudly! When I lowered him onto it he was much more accepting.

Hope you find what it is that your son needs for comfy eliminating!!
 

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We are going through something similar, and I was just about to post about it. My DD is 9 months old and ECed since birth. We were doing really well until she started to get mobile around 6-7 months. Then for the past month she's been on strike and only pottying about 2-3 times a day. She protests, screams, and arches her back whenever I try to EC her. The big potty gets a big NO, as well as the sink. She will half-heartedly sit on the Baby Bjorn little potty but often won't sit still enough to do anything in it. My diaper laundry has increased 10-fold! She's teething her 5th & 6th teeth as well as preparing to walk (has been standing unassisted and getting up and down unassisted the past 2-3 weeks) so I am assuming that is the reason. Hoping this phase passes quickly for both of us.

ETA: For the past 2 months, DD has learned a new trick. She will take off her diaper just as she's about to pee or right after she pees in it. However, she won't take herself to the potty. LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
today seemed like a major breakthrough (yay!) after weeks of following the baby around with a prefold to clean all our misses (and still continuing of course to gently encourage peeing in the bblp, sink, tup, toilet, or outside - to arched backs and screams) - today we causght 4 times! YAY! time to celebrate. really, before, i was wondering how we ever got caught up in this diaper culture, when ec'ing was so simple, kind, and easy.. now i know, and we're not taking anything for granted anymore. we are so grateful to our babe for his patience! i think we've still got a ways to go before we're back to 'normal', but i have renewed hope. thanks for all your encouragement.
 
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