[Crazybean]

I'm thankful to have overheard about my upcoming shower but I'm sooooo uncomfortable with this! I *hate* being the center of attention- even on my wedding day, I felt like melting into the background... now, I don't like the idea of sitting in front of everyone and unwrapping gifts (then having to look overly surprised or happy). I'm not saying I'm not grateful but you know how you always get those "other" gifts at a shower where you are thinking what the heck? I have priceless facial expressions and I can't help them at times.. oh help me through the next few weeks! I also don't like when people spend $$ on me and I have nothing to give in return (especially non-family members).. I'm NOT a taker so this is awkward for me! Eeekkk...

 

[chase_mommy]

I understand the comfortableness that comes with the center of attention, I too am a wall flower. However, consider yourself lucky that you have people in your life that are willing to do this for you regardless of how corny the gifts may be, you can always exchange/return for something you would use. I am not having a baby shower... I don't have enough people in my life to care to throw me one. As much as I hate being the center of attention it stings pretty bad when you attend all your other family members (multiple) showers but then get nothing, makes one feel less important. Anyway, you can never have enough receiving blankets, towels and wash cloths... all three can be converted into cloth diapers if you are going that route. Just try to focus on the positives and not so much of the negatives. It will all be a distant memory before you know it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[moonmama22]

chase_mommy - that brought tears to my eyes... I'm so sorry you feel this way and hope that in time you can find people who make you feel important and special, as everyone should!<br><br>
Crazybean - I am the same way. I begged for people not to throw one, but ds is almost 6yo, and now I'm having a girl, so people felt it was necessary. At first it was dp's friends who were actually planning it, and I wanted it to be for her, not me, since she will be a mom too. Now it's more my mother and dp's sister who are planning it. But I hate being the center of attention - I was terrified to get married, and then truly had a 10 minute ceremony, if that, because I just wanted to get out of the spotlight... But chase_mommy is right - we should appreciate that we are supported and let people "shower" us with support and love. The work thing though - I hope no one does that for me - I wouldn't know what to do!!!

 

[Surfacing]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[lrgs]

chase_mommy........aw, I'm so emotional right now and that made me sad....hugs to you!<br><br>
OP......I totally get not wanting to be the center of attention, I had a small going away party/baby shower a couple days ago and I felt so awkward with everyone staring at me while I opened gifts. This was only a small gathering and there were only a handful of gifts. It's weird because I don't actually mind being the center of attention sometimes but when it comes to gifts I get awkward. I always feel the need to make a fuss so the gift giver knows how much I appreciate it. I'm weird. I don't have a lot of advice, I just know how you feel.

 

[Crazybean]

Aww chase_mommy... I'm sorry to hear that. If it wasn't for work, I wouldn't be having a shower since ALL my family lives out of state and I have only a few local friends.<br><br>
On another note, I found out it is in a few weeks so I have time to adjust...

 

[MissMorgan]

DDCC<br>
My partner's mother gave me some good advice on "gracefully" accepting gifts at the shower (especially ones you don't want!):<br>
When you get the gift in your hands, BEFORE YOU OPEN IT.. read the card.. THANK THE PERSON THEN AND THERE ("Thank you so much for the gift!" because its nice they thought of you no matter what is inside).. then open the gift and move on. So you don't have say "thanks for the lovely crap i'll be putting on craigslist in 10 hours.." Let everyone else oooh and ahh..<br>
Oh and maybe bake some goodies to bring for people on your shower if you feel the need to give something in return.<br>
We're having a shower where I don't know ANYONE that's invited! I have no idea how to act but I loved her idea of thanking first, then looking, but not having to comment on each gift when I am thinking to myself "OH really?!"

 

[queenofchaos]

I totally understand how you feel. They threw a shower for me at work and I was really uncomfortable. When I walked in I noticed all the gifts and cake and stuff in a room next to the office where I do my work and I acted like I just didn't see it. I was wishing it would go away! I hope you make it through that day OK. I was exhausted by the time mine was over.

 

[Crazybean]

Ya know.. at kids birthday parties, I see the kids open the gift really fast then move onto the next- sometimes throwing it aside. No one seems to mind because they are kids. Now with adults, it is obviously different. Am I to do the Vanna White with each gift? I don't want to look ungrateful or greedy.. I mean THIS is what is keeping me up at night.. petty stuff that shouldn't be a big deal but it is turning out to be huge for me. DH thinks it is amusing because he remembers my bridal shower and my awkwardness...<br><br>
Of course, thank you notes are already purchased and I plan to get them out the next day *sigh* I'm ready to retire this thought until the night before the shower....