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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I dont mind going to them but I HATE having one for myself. I dont like being the center, i dont like people feeling like they have to give me things. Plus this is my fourth child. granted we hada really small place so whatever wasnt in use got tossed to good will or friends. I dont want a baby shower but my friend really wants to have one for me. Is there a polite way to decline? She wants my family there and everything YUCK. NO i dont want to. I know Im sure I sound ungreatful but I really hate showers they make me feel horrible and uncomfortable. Maybe there is a way I could turn it into some kind of well wishing party vs. a baby shower? I dunno help me out ladies
 

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If they're insistant about gifting you, what about asking for a book shower? I know I can always find a place for more kids books. If they're more open minded, what about a giving shower? Everyone brings something to donate to a local women's shelter?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>PatchChild</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7281497"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If they're insistant about gifting you, what about asking for a book shower? I know I can always find a place for more kids books. If they're more open minded, what about a giving shower? Everyone brings something to donate to a local women's shelter?</div>
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-Or a diaper shower (either clothe or disposable) would be a good idea to get something you actually need.<br><br>
You could have her throw a co-ed get-together with all yours and DH's friends and people contribute cash instead of bringing a gift, then you can buy something that you really need for the baby or yourself.<br><br>
Just a thought. She might be all about a traditional shower, so a book or diaper shower would be a good alternative, and just ask her to not make a huge deal out of the whole thing.
 

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I gave a friend of mine a shower and she is a lot like you, not wanting to be the center of things and such. It was her 1st baby though. What we did was everyone brought a gift like normal but my friend didn't open the gifts w/ everyone around ooggling over her. If someone really really wanted her to open their gift then she went into the other room and did it (she only had to do it once though). She is just really shy and would literally break out in hives if everyone was starting at her. No one that came to the shower was offended by this b/c they were there to chat and celebrate the baby. I don't know if that would make you feel better but its an option for you.<br><br>
I also have done the book shower for a friend when she had her 3rd baby b/c she had everyone we just wanted to celebrate the birth of a new baby and you can always use more books.<br><br>
I hope you can find an agreement so that you feel comfortable and so that she can do something nice for you.<br><br>
Good luck sweetie.
 

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I think it is totally reasonable if you REALLY don't want the shower to gratefully decline it, and to suggest that perhaps a small group of you all gather together for a quiet evening to celebrate the new baby with a small ceremony or feast or whatever- just let her know that her intentions and friendship are so precious and you appreciate her very much...
 

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i did talk to her about it tonight. We are going to just have a dinner party at her house. just the girls to hang out and eat. no presents necessary. if anyone feels the need to get me anything I would prefer cash so I can work on my diaper stash. I just want it to be calm relaxing and fun.
 

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Oh, I'm so glad that you were able to talk to her about it and come together on something to do. The dinner party sounds like a great idea and a great way to celebrate the baby and you!
 

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Yay! sounds like a nice solution.
 

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A dinner party sounds fun <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Another kind of shower that I would love is a potluck frozen meal one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> where instead of a gift people bring a meal that is frozen or freezable so the family has lots to eat after the baby arrives, my dream shower would be a combination of that and everyone brings 10$ so I could get a housekeeper once a week for a couple weeks<br><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"> a girl can dream can't she <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>crysmomofthree</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7292375"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A dinner party sounds fun <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Another kind of shower that I would love is a potluck frozen meal one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> where instead of a gift people bring a meal that is frozen or freezable so the family has lots to eat after the baby arrives, my dream shower would be a combination of that and everyone brings 10$ so I could get a housekeeper once a week for a couple weeks</div>
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The frozen dinner idea sounds great too! I am planning on making a bunch myself, and I put some glassware on my baby registry!<br><br>
I am glad you were able to come up with something you are comfortable with!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kittn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7287909"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i did talk to her about it tonight. We are going to just have a dinner party at her house. just the girls to hang out and eat. no presents necessary. if anyone feels the need to get me anything I would prefer cash so I can work on my diaper stash. I just want it to be calm relaxing and fun.</div>
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I am so glad that you were able to get your needs met, and enjoy your friends, too.... sounds like a great plan!
 
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