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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just have to vent a little bit...


I went to a baby shower recently and pretty much hated it. Of course, I enjoyed it for my friend since it was hers, but I don't want to have to go through this type of thing too many times. Mostly it's the contrived nature of everything, and reminds me of my wedding shower. There were embarassing games that would make me feel uncomfortable like... "just how big are you?" guessing-game, charades... etc. etc. Also it was at the grandparents-to-be house, so the china and water goblets were broken out. All the women sit around acting proper, pictures get taken, and meanwhile I keep refilling my glass since I can't get enough water in my goblet. I'm thristy!!! And women keep comparing jewelry. YUK!

I'm just really too casual and laid back for this kind of thing. Like our combined bachelor/bachelorette party for my husband and I, I'd want to have guys there too. So maybe we'll just have a dinner or lunch at a family-style Italian restaurant where huge dishes of food get passed around. And hopefully there will be lots of chianti to keep everyone happy.

So what are you guys thinking of if you are having to plan one? I'm totally dreading a baby shower, but I would love to have a normal party with friends.
 

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I hear you on not liking showers like that. I really think that you can make your shower what you would appreciate most if the person who is hosting it for you is willing to work with you on that kind of thing. My mom threw my shower when I was pg with Anna (I think that is a etiquette no-no but oh well) and it ended up being really nice. She asked my opinion on pretty much everything she did so it would be something that I would really enjoy. It was just all the women in my side of the fam and my DH's side of the fam that live in the area, plus a couple close friends, so all people I felt comfortable with. My mom made cute little tea sandwiches, lots of other yummy finger foods, and we all just sat and chatted most of the time. We only played one little silly game and it wasn't one of those ones that makes you roll your eyes. Then of course I did have to open all the gifts they brought me which felt pretty awkward but I feel that way about birthdays too.

If you really hate traditional baby showers either try to see if you can't arrange for it to be something less traditional (you don't HAVE to do the silly games or anything) or ask for it to be more of a mother's blessing instead. I won't be having anything like that this time but I definitely did enjoy it with #1.
 

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My friend had a big ol' BBQ for her baby shower. It was "co-ed" and it was LOTS of fun! The only game that was played was you got the name of a famous person pinned to your back when you arrived and you had to ask people questions to find out who was on your back! It was fun! (Especially when people *thought* they knew about your celebrity and they told you something that wasn't right and got you TOTALLY confused! LOL)

But I agree! I am NOT one of those people to sit around like that! For my shower for my DD, we had it at my friend's brother's house (TOTALY bachelor pad! LOL) and so it was SO casual! It was great! (I wore jean shorts, a t-shirt and flip lops! LOL)

I don't plan on having a baby shower this time around... Unless I have a boy (which we aren't finding out, so no shower tl after tha baby, anyway!), in which case my sister and best friend want to throw me something seeing as I have NOTHING boy! LOL But my friend was great! She asked me exactly what I wanted for my shower and she followed it! Just make sure that the person who throws your shower knows EXACTLY that you WANT and DON"T WANT!

Kerri
 

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I'm so embarrassed to admit this, because it seems so anti-social and not "nice" for someone who's already a mommy, but I loathe baby showers (wedding showers, too, for that matter). It just feels oogy and yucky to be getting attention for such a girly thing (I'm not criticizing; I'm just not very girly, and I don't like a lot of attention focused on me for any reason, particularly very "girly" things). With T, I had 1 shower and suffered through it and cancelled the other.

Even worse... IRL, everyone I know is either pg or has had a baby recently. I have missed every last shower.
: I've actually had good excuses... during the summer, we had pretty frequent visitors, we took a trip, etc... and during the out of control stages of my hyperemesis, I didn't go *anywhere*. I don't like most weddings, either. Okay, are y'all ready to disown me?


My boys' birthdays will be pretty soon after this baby is born... I'd much rather have a big ol' birthday and meet the baby shin-dig (where my *kids* are the focus of the attention).
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the responses.

I never knew it was considered bad etiquette for the mother to throw the party. So maybe that's why I haven't heard anything from my mum, cause I knew she would be all over it if she could. LOL I'm an only child, so I don't have a sister to throw one for me. But I have had a friend at work offer to throw a party for me. Anyways, maybe I'll even plan on throwing the party after the baby is born. I can't decide.

I also really feel bad about implying that people need to buy me a gift. So I don't know the best way to go about that. Once anything about gifts is mentioned, it seems complicated. It was kind of awkward for me at the party last weekend, as the mother being showered asked to not be given any gifts, just food for after the baby was born. And I followed her request. But everyone else brought lavish gifts (some in addition to bringing food), and I ended up feeling like a cheapskate. :/

Also, I love the idea for that game where you pin a famous person's name on the back of each guest. Fun! And I'm glad to hear someone else has done co-ed for the baby shower.
It makes me feel not so "odd".
 

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I already told my friend who sounds like she is planning it - no games, co-ed, lots of food.

I figure that way I will get to see all the people I want to see and I don't have to suffer through the "diaper the teddy bear" game.

I have no idea if it is actually gonna happen frankly.
So we will see what actually occurs.


I hate opening presents from everyone too! The only thing that I like about it - is it saves me from writing thank you notes.
 

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I can't stand the games either...........

I wont be having a shower or party with this baby.

1st shower was a mess no one showed up because of mother in law ( long story)

2nd shower was a suprise..........indeed it was I was so uneasy I only knew 3 people out of the 20 that were there


3rd was given to me out of spite to show up another friend ( if I had known this I would not have gone.......

So needless to say no shower for me
 

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There will be a work baby shower most likely, which isn't formal and definitely no games (and most certainly co-ed) but most an excuse to eat cake...but I will probably have a post birth party, unless there's some complication making the post birth period really difficult (heaven forbid).
 

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My mom threw my second shower with the help of my Aunt. We had a great time. The games were actually really fun (Aunt was in charge of games) and she focused them more on the guests rather than me. They all got great prizes! Yummy lotions and candles, etc.
Allison
 

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I think if you don't want to have a shower, don't have one! If you want it to be co-ed, I think that idea rocks. After all, the father-to-be is also going to become a parent.

I loved my baby shower. It was thrown by two people close to me - a dear friend and my sister. They had a ball going nuts with it and they knew I didn't want a bunch of stupid games. My baby shower was not co-ed, though, because my sister and my friend wanted only women there. I was disappointed by that - definately let the mom to be decide what kind of shower she wants! We only did two games, and they were both pretty tame. One was the game where each person gets handed a miniture clothespin to wear at the beginning of the party. If someone catches you saying "baby" they can take your pin away. Those with the most pins at the end of the party wins. It is fun to watch people's competitive spirit come out and see those who could care less, lol. We also did the "guess the due date and sex" game, which someone wins after the fact obviously. I still have the piece of paper with everyone's guesses.

I threw a shower for my best friend when she had a baby. This one was co-ed and it was great! We did the same kind of mild games and no one cared. It was fun!

Don't think of it as a shower. Think of it as a party to celebrate the baby, and yourself, who is about to undergo a major life change. One thing that was very meaningful to me was having the women at my shower share their best parenting advice in a little book. I still have it. Even those who were not parents contributed, because everyone has experience with parents, even if they are not parents themselves.
 

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i hate baby showers too, but my friends threw us one last night and it was a lot of fun...it was a co-ed pot luck with our best friends (luckily derek and i have the same best friends and they are all best friends too). we had great food, listened to great music like the clash and three inches of blood, and played no silly games. we just hung out and ate and opened gifts.
 

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My mom threw my shower (first baby) for me b/c honestly I didn't have any close friends who lived close to me at the time. Made me feel like crap that I had to (essentially) ask her to do it. We did a co-ed thing, as I'm *very* uncomfortable being the center of attention. Because my mom hosted it, there were several lame/embarrassing games - I NEVER would have opted for that. I think we did do a BBQ. If I could have the shower of my dreams it would be with just close friends (no family except maybe my sister since she's in my general age range) and more like a blessingway than a traditional shower. I'd love that if people brought gifts they'd be more AP-friendly, or just do the frozen meal thing (although we're vegetarians so people never know what to do). Anyway, emotional support would really be the type of party that would make me feel good - not silly games and gifts.

p.s. I doubt we'll have a shower this time. No one threw us one last time (we gave the baby a shower after her birth ourselves), so I can't see it happening this time around. Stuff like this always depressing me (of course, I'm on the very emotional side today so please forgive me).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by love_homebirthing
p.s. I doubt we'll have a shower this time. No one threw us one last time (we gave the baby a shower after her birth ourselves), so I can't see it happening this time around. Stuff like this always depressing me (of course, I'm on the very emotional side today so please forgive me).
aww its ok to feel that way, I do sometimes too. Those preggo hormones turn me into a bawling mess somedays even though I try to fight it. Believe me you aren't alone with the very emotional days
 
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