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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>So, I have seen a lot of mention of Babymoons on here with posts to people who have had their babies etc.  I have a general idea of what this would involve to but was wondering what this specifically means to you guys when you think of this time?  </p>
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<p>With DD we did not really get a long relaxing time at home after her birth - she was born with a teratoma (don't google it - hers was really small and totally not like most on the Internet - as usual).  It is basically a stem cell tumor (benign), in her case growing from the tailbone.</p>
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<p>It was not a immediate/emergency situation so she was still rooming in with me at the hospital.   BF happened pretty much right away etc.  We went home in the normal time frame and had 1 or 2 nights at home before going to the NICU for an overnight stay for an MRI, then home again for a couple days before her surgery at 1 week old - 5 days in the NICU with that I think.  </p>
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<p>Surprisingly the whole thing was not as awful and stressful as you might think.  Our NICU was awesome, BFing went really well and the NICU was super supportive of that - I slept there and they called me throughout the night whenever she woke up to eat.  They would have a rocking chair and everything all ready for me and even called the lactation consultant for me for some advice with a minor issue we had.  The whole time I could see those little preemies and I just felt lucky for my full term healthy baby.</p>
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<p>Anyway, despite making the best of the situation we sort of missed out on any kind of restful babymoon at home.... and (hopefully) plan to have this and enforce something like it this time.  What kind of things do you guys plan or have you done in the past?  Do you limit visitors and how has that worked for you?  If you have older kids how does this play into your babymoon plans etc?</p>
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<p>PS. spell check keeps wanting to replace BFing with barfing... lol.</p>
 

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<p>I really haven't had a babymoon either. with my first there was just so much stress and with my second I felt like I had no options to rest just had to keep going.</p>
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<p>I plan to try and have a babymoon this time. at least as much of one as i cna have with two children. i plan to delgate as much as possible away from me. Spend lots of time with the baby and as a family. I have no intention of having a baby shower within the first month this time. I had one at 5 days with my first and a week or two with my second. it was just too much.. too many people. Fortunaltey visitor will be easy to limit this time as we are away from a bunch of family so we wont have a revolving door of people </p>
 

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<p>We kept it really mellow after the birth of our first. I have absolutlely no obligatory feelings toward anyone to let them see the baby. We waited until the following day to call a few close family members and invited them over for short visits. After that we just stayed pretty much around home and kept it mellow.This time we plan to do much the same. Quite a few of the family members were not happy about the way we did it last time, but I'm not really concerned about it. My husband will have to go back to work a day or two after the birth (last time he had a month), so my mom will be around to help with things. I think resting and bonding with baby are the most important things you can do if you have the option to.</p>
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<p>you have the right idea Forest Mama - i wish i had been better able to stand up to pesky in-laws  - Twice! (three children, two different husbands)   My last LO is 4 months old - born at home at 2:30 PM on a Saturday - by 6PM my house was filled with relatives   ALL of whom HAD to hold my baby ...NONE of whom even offered to make us dinner, run an errand - do a load of laundry - or even so much as wash their hands before handling the baby!  </p>
<p>I guess i take this sort of thing personally as I am a postpartum doula  - Babymoons are very important - Mom and baby need time to get to know each other - time to rest - time to work on breastfeeding.  Dads are quite capable of holding down the fort while Mom and Baby get comfy in bed for a few days.  All too soon you will be running after that precious LO at top speed - so get your rest in while you can!</p>
 

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<p>I didn't really take much of a babymoon with DD. we were in the hospital two days, and my family visited a lot both in the hospital and out, but once I was home I was pushing myself to be up and stuff. this time I plan on staying upstairs for a week, mostly in bed, though sitting in my rocking chair some as well. DD will just have to mostly hang out upstairs with me if there isn't anyone around to take her downstairs (hopefully my family will be able to do some babysitting, help with cooking, and dishes and laundry. DF is also a student, so he'll be around after he gets out of class at 1:30). I am planning on borrowing my sister's mini-fridge so I can keep snacks and stuff in my room so I don't have to go downstairs for them if no one else is there. </p>
 

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<p>I never had much of a babymoon as Dh never has much time off and my ils live out of town. My ils did come for about 1wk after I was home for DD1 and DD2. For dd3, Dh was on 2mths vacation from school(he's a teacher).</p>
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<p>For this baby, I'm not sure if my ils will be able to come. Dh will probably be working or be out of town for his second job. So I have my babysitter on call to help out when I will need it. My parents are also in town and they can help out in the evening or wkends as they work during the day. My girls are also in school, so I will be able to rest when they are gone.</p>
 

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<p>I'm a fan!</p>
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<p>I'm planing on loafing around in pjs for at least the first 2 weeks, nothing but nursing and eating and homeschooling (in my bed!) My dh can't take anytime off school, but my mom is coming for as long as she can stay (I may get super lucky and get her for like a month!) and (what happened to the fingers crossed smiley?!) I might have a good friend coming near the birth time to visit. Even if mom can only stay a little while and friend can't make it, I plan on having lots of "ready to go" food and stuff for dd1 to make lunches. Dh is home by 4:30 or earlier most days and my girls are 6 and 3, so pretty independent.</p>
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<p>I am really lucky. I think I need to spread the love and go find some pp mamas to do laundry for!</p>
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<p>I'm planning on making up for my lack of babymoon last time.  I went back to work at 3 weeks PP and back to teaching yoga at 2weeks PP, it was all way to much and I emotionally crashed shortly thereafter, quit teaching yoga and seriously cut back on work.  This time I have my mom flying out for two weeks and my husband taking two weeks off of work.  I will be taking 4 weeks off of work (I work entirely from home ~5 hours a week) and I plan on sitting around the house, and not doing much of anything.  I do however plan to have people over.  I loved having visitors after Rowan was born.</p>
 

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<p>This will be our first baby, so who knows how we'll really feel, but I think that both my husband and I are social enough (he's an extrovert; I'm a friendly introvert) we won't want much of a private babymoon as long as we and the baby are all feeling well.  I will be on maternity leave, but I think we'll be out and about and having people over as soon as we get organized.  My only rule is that I don't want anyone staying with us overnight for at LEAST the first month.  Our apartment is too small for that.</p>
 

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<p>I don't mind visitors either. All the people who would visit me are well aware of the fact that I'm not going to get out of my PJs or off the bed/couch for them! <span><img alt="lol.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="width:15px;height:31px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>I don't think of a babymoon as having specific rules, just as having downtime with your new bundle.  That can start when you get home from the hospital.  So if you spend time in NICU, you can still babymoon it up :)  My first baby, i didn't realize the importance of this quiet bonding time, and when he was 3 days old, we were already out shopping at Home Depot (I wanted to take advantage of my mom being in town, she had offered to get some fix-it things for our house).  I also really didn't like that house a bunch, i had no desire to stay there and just soak it all up... we had a bunch of noisy roomates, lived in the inner city - loud sirens, people yelling all the time, etc.  With my second baby we had moved out to the country and i LOVED where we lived - it just seemed the ideal setting to sit out on the porch, loving the new baby, watching the deer and birds in the field, having lovely friends come over who just cleaned and fixed dinner and let me get a shower and then popped out.  It was quite lovely.  Now that I know how different I felt with the two newborn experiences, I can't imagine dragging a newborn out around town</p>
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
<p>I love reading all the posts and thoughts on this - thanks for your ideas!</p>
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<p>root children, I really appreciate the thought that the babymoon doesn't have to be at home.  I guess if I think back to DD we did spend the time we had at home that first week really just relaxing and bonding and figuring things out.  Only close family came to visit because with the surgery coming up they really did not want to get her sick and/or were more likely to understand if we asked them to wait a couple weeks.  Even in the NICU I spent a lot of time with her, holding and nursing her etc.   I really loved that time actually as I felt like I was "doing something" to help her heal etc.  I could not do the surgery but I could give her breastmilk and mom time and I appreciated having that ability to do something no one else could do.   </p>
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<p>I think I will plan to spend the first week  or two home, relaxing and just enjoying baby.  I feel ok with some close family and close friend visitors in the first couple weeks but there will be others that I will ask to wait a couple weeks.</p>
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<p>One of my biggest dilemnas for this time after baby has been what to do with DD and daycare.  I work full time but since I teach so much online stuff I only have to have her in daycare 3 days per week.  I love the woman who watches her and the kids are great and they do so many great things that DD loves.  But I also will take about 9 weeks of leave but can only get 6 paid.  This will not be a big problem for us but still would be nice to not pay as much daycare.  My current thoughts are to still take DD to daycare 2 days per week (on the day the music lady come for sure!) until end of May.  Summer I won't continue with daycare but she will be doing a few other things (pre-k zoo camp for a couple weeks maybe).   I think I will enjoy a couple days a week of just me and baby and it would be good for DD to continue some of the same things she was doing before the baby.  Anyone else who has kids in daycare plan to keep having them go some of the time?</p>
 

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<p>DD got into daycare when DS was 1.5 months old, and it was a use-it-or-lose-it spot.  She turned 2 right after DS was born, and it was so nice to get to know DS for a little bit before I went to work.</p>
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<p>We live in a tiny apartment this time (much MUCH smaller than where we lived when the other 2 were born - we all sleep in one room), and I'm afraid of keeping the kids cooped up in the apartment while I babymoon.  My dad's wife, a chain-smoker that doesn't speak English, wanted to come for the first weeks to cook, help out with the other 2, etc., for us, but I turned her down.  It's too small a place for us all to be together.</p>
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<p>We never really had a babymoon before.  My mom came both times, but she's not a make-dinner-do-the-dishes kind of person, so it was just stressful to have her here.</p>
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<p>We had a few people come uninvited to the hospital (ok, more than a few) last time, and I'd like to not do that this time.  It has never even occurred to me to go to the hospital when my friends have had babies.  You know?  It's just a private time for closest family.  It always surprises me how many people want to come visit right away - people whom we haven't seen for months otherwise. </p>
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<p>I've enjoyed reading these responses, too.  I think I will let the kids watch TV and play Wii a lot so I can nap and get to know the baby, and hopefully DH will come through and make sure they get out those first couple weeks.  I think if DD doesn't have a ride home from kindergarten, she just won't go in the morning.</p>
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