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How are you doing the last name of your babe?

We're not officially married, but will at some point. Even so, I'm not changing my name. It's who I am, you know?

We toyed around with creating a name from our two last names. They're both 2 syllable, 6-lettered names, one common, the other not so. So we took one syllable from one, and another from the other and made up some names. We thought about taking those should we get married, but DP's got 4 kids, and didn't want school or other complications with name confusion. I really like the hybrid idea, because you're creating a new name out of the two partners, just like you did to make the baby, rather than the mom's name being dissolved by marriage and/or childbirth.

So I proposed that we give the hybrid last name to the new baby. Which was kind of fun for a while, but, Mr Toona is still concerned about name confusion and social situations, so we're giving the baby a hyphenated last name. MyLastName-HisLastName for a girl, and HisLastName-MyLastName for a boy. It's ok, I can deal with it, but it seems a little bulky. Fortunately we have relatively short names. I can't imagine some folks hyphening theirs, but the combinations are fun!

I guess I'm just a little bummed that a hybrid name is a bit too out there for this world. But hey, how are you naming your kidlings?
 

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We hyphenated. There was no way I wasn't giving my child my name. I would have settled for us all picking a neutral 3rd name and going with that but since we didn't the baby was going to get mine or both. DH went with both. It made for a very long name, DD's 1st name has 10 letters, DH's last name has 5 letters and my last name has 9, but my name never fit in those government forms either.

At this point we are thinking of waiting until the kids are older and then having them help us choose a new family name.
 

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My uterus, my name. LOL.

Dh and I each kept our own names when we got married, and the kids will get my last name. Dh has 5 other kids who all have his last name, as does 1 ex-wife, lol! (Actually, his oldest daughter got married and took her husband's last name, so she doesn't actually have dh's last name any more, but she did growing up.) It was a deal breaker for me, so they get my last name.
 

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I changed my name when we got married, and happily so. We actually got married a month before DS was due so we would all have the same last name. (We were planning on getting married before we conceived him, so it wasn't like it was a shotgun marriage.)

My parents were thrilled about me not being married - they assumed the baby boy would pass down my father's last name. They tried to get me to give him my maiden name EVEN THOUGH I had already changed my name to my husbands'. Yeah right. Why would our baby have a different last name than us? My parents didn't talk to me for a few weeks, but then they came around. Sheesh.

Now, let's see... if we hadn't been married, I probably would have hyphenated our names until we got married, then dropped my last name. But if I wasn't going to change my name anyway, I would leave it hyphenated, with my name first.
 

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I took DH's last name when we married, and kept my maiden name as my middle name (dropping the old middle name). I did this because I wanted everyone in our family (the two of us, and our at-the-time-unconceived children) to have the same last name.

When I explained my logic to my roommate at the time, he was extremely offended. Apparently when he was growing up, the four members of his family (his mom, his step-dad, his half-sister and himself) had four different last names. He says they never had any problems or confusion, and was baffled as to why I'd want my family to share a last name.

Sharing a last name has worked for me, unique last names worked for my roommate; I think it's simply a matter of personal preference.

The only thing I'd worry about with hyphenated last names is that what happens when a Smith-Brown falls in love with a Jones-Green? Their options might be way more limited...

I also know a bunch of folks who have done the hisname+hername=newname thing, with good results.
 

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DD's middle name is my last name. I really don't like the solution, but I didn't want to hyphenate, and didn't like a 3rd name either (dh wanted this). It seemed like the best, albeit, imperfect solution. Now I kind of wish she had a "real" middle name, although I'm not sure if it would have been in addition to or instead of my last name. We are pg again, and I don't know what I want to do this time around. I've considered giving this one my last name, but it seems like it just gets so confusing. Once they're in school, they're siblings but have two different names, kids will be asking questions, etc. Anyway, if this one is a boy, dh is dead set on it having his father's name for a middle name, so ...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lilkat View Post
The only thing I'd worry about with hyphenated last names is that what happens when a Smith-Brown falls in love with a Jones-Green? Their options might be way more limited...
Maybe they'd be creative and just become the 'Olive' family.
:
 

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I had a different last name than my mom growing up (single parent family) and it was a pain the butt for me and my brother. (it was a major reason why I took my husband's name when we married) I have seen other people who use their maiden names as middle names and I think it's really unique.
When my dad and his wife married they made a hybrid name and use that for non-government or non-formal situations.
In any case I do think names are important, they define you, and you need to be comfortable with it.
 

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I kept my name when I married for the same reason Teenytoona said. It's the name I've always had, and it didn't feel right to give up part of myself when we married, especially when the other party wouldn't be doing something similar.


We've considered every option for this little one. Hyphenation was right out for us for the reason mentioned above--what do they do when they get married and have kids? Giving the baby DH's last name or my last name only was right out because we wanted her name to reflect the equal partnership that created her life.

So we settled on creating a new last name for her and any future siblings to share. The only problem was our last names don't "combine" very well! So we thought back to why we're having kids in the first place. We wanted her last name to reflect why she came into existence.

We both said we didn't want kids when we started dating and even when we got married. And we really, really meant it! But then some good friends of ours had a boy, and we got to hang out with him a lot as he was growing up. He is a sweet little boy--and so much fun to hang out with! So on our way home from their place on the weekends, we started to see how having a child could be a lot of fun! And we thought that we had more love to give.

Because it was that little boy who changed our minds about having kids, we decided our kids would have a last name that honored him. So we're using his first name as our children's last name.

It's definitely different, and it feels weird to be doing something that no one else we know has done, but someone has to be the first one right?


The biggest argument against it that we've heard is that it will confuse the school and the doctor's office. I don't doubt that there could be some confusion, but I think nowadays in the U.S. especially, there are so many blended families with various last names that it's not really a huge issue anymore.

For example, my sister was married twice and changed her name both times. So her kids from her first marriage didn't have the same last name as her. They didn't have problems with it growing up. (They're both adults now.)

So I think it boils down to: Do what feels right to you. Everyone else will adapt. They'll have to.
 

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I think that's wonderful, Snozzberry! It's cool that you and your DH would be so thoughtful and creative when naming your baby.
I'm sure any potential confusion will be easily cleared up, and in the meantime your child will have a very special and meaningful name, given with a lot of intent and love.
 

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Before I got married I thought I wouldn't change my name but once I met the man of my dreams I felt honored to take it. I decided in the end to keep my maiden name as my middle name (wasn't a hard decision as my middle name was Hestella, blech!). My dd's last name will be her fathers' but her middle name will be my maiden name. So, she'll have the same initials as I do for both her middle and last name. In the future, all of my daughter's middle names will be my maiden. If I have boys I believe it will be the same but I am not sure. My maiden name is Conley and I like that for a boy's first name too.
 

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I took Dh's last name when we got married. DS's middle name is my maiden name (Pierce). I am not sure if we will follow the same trend this time, especially if it's a girl, since I would want to give her two middle names (female first names from both sides of my family). If I add my maiden name to that, she would have 4 names plus a surname!

So in short, I think I'm happy with one of the kids having my name within his.
 

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With DD1, I had DH's last name so she got it as well. I changed back to my maiden and the DD's now have two last names, no hypen, it is bulky and annoying at times. I figure that someday they can decide if they want to drop a name, but until then they are stuck.
:
 

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DH and I both kept our names when we got married.

We both like my last name better. We gave DS my last name, and we will do the same for the new baby when she comes. We don't see any reason to use DH's name just because he is the man.

I also know a family that created a hybrid last name for their children. The new name sounds great and I think it's a good solution, too.

Having different names in the family may be somewhat of a hassle when children are growing up (although we haven't had any hassles so far at all), but childhood is a small part of your child's life. I think it is most important to choose a name that you love and find meaningful for your child, a name that your child can carry happily through adulthood.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by lilkat View Post
I took DH's last name when we married, and kept my maiden name as my middle name (dropping the old middle name). I did this because I wanted everyone in our family (the two of us, and our at-the-time-unconceived children) to have the same last name.
Funny, I did the same thing but didn't drop my middle name (thought I wish I had because my name is too long and most forms only allow for one middle initial). I was just going to share 2 variations from friends. One family her dd got her last name and her ds got dh's last name. And some other friends of ours made up their own last name for their dd (it comes from dh's last name, the english translation or something like that) and they both plan to take that name eventually (when his father dies).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Inspired007 View Post
I decided in the end to keep my maiden name as my middle name (wasn't a hard decision as my middle name was Hestella, blech!). My dd's last name will be her fathers' but her middle name will be my maiden name. So, she'll have the same initials as I do for both her middle and last name. In the future, all of my daughter's middle names will be my maiden. If I have boys I believe it will be the same but I am not sure.
This is what my mom did, both with her name and mine. I'll do the same someday with my name and with my kids, boys or girls.
 

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Our son has a new name created out of the syllables of each of ours, just as you described. Our daughter will have the same name. We have discussed changing ours to match (we each have our own) but haven't done it yet.
 

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Before DH and I got married, we talked about combining our last names and taking that as our new name... but when we did it we came up with 'Molck' as the best option.

Atrocious! (yet funny enough for me to keep it as a handle, I thought)

In the end, I took his name, and our kids will also have that name. I was never too fond of my maiden name, anyway, and if I'd kept it, we'd probably have given the kiddos his name just because it's the nicer of the two.
 

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DP and I aren't married...yet.

DD has my last name. It's rather uncommon (less than 100 people in the U.S. have it. Germany is another story...) and DP's is dreadfully common.

There's a chance he'll take mine.
 
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