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<p>yesterday, while commenting in the "monthly chat" forum, my dh called to say that he found a letter from last week from the dr's office who removed, what we thought to be, a cyst from his back. the letter said that it wasn't a cyst, but a non-dangerous tumor, and that they need to go back and take out some more to reassure that it doesn't start to grow back. ok- "non-dangerous" i can deal with-  i had him call his dad, who is a dr., to talk about it. at first his dad was really happy b/c that is what he had diagnosed it as from the beginning, but then he called last night to talk about it again and said that it is the type of tumor that can be "ok" or it can turn out to grow and turn into something other than "ok".  and then he mentioned that he can't come to dd2s birthday on sunday b/c he is having such severe pain in his back and down one leg that he can't walk, and that he is going in for testing to see if he might have cancer (he caught prostate cancer early 5 or so yrs ago and recovered quickly.)</p>
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<p>my FIL is a man who, at 78, skis faster than my dh and once drove himself, with 2 broken arms, to the hospital- the old school type who doesn't even really believe in pain. so, when he seeks the help of a dr it is a really big deal- i would guess that he kind of already knows.</p>
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<p>and....i feel so overwhelmed with emotions. my dh has been so sick in the last year- from one sickness to another- and i am worried that his immune system is low b/c he is fighting so hard against something else. and i am feeling a little irrationally like i am going to be left all alone- in germany- with three kids- and no home or job or real support system. and i have had so many dreams lately about him leaving me- and i know, somewhere, that the feelings and dreams are hormone related, but it is hard to overcome the urge to cry as if everything bad has already happened. oy, do i love him. he is such a spirit of goodness....</p>
<p>so, think of us please. and thanks for letting me vent so much this week.</p>
 

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<p>Thinking of you, MCS!</p>
 

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<p>Prayers for your family! Check out the http;//<a href="http://www.healthy.net" target="_blank">www.healthy.net</a> web page. I recall they used to have some pretty good info on cancer and immune boosting meals. Healings for your loved ones!</p>
 

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<p>:hug  Thoughts and prayers are with your family.</p>
 

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Oh my goodness...understand your feelings very well. I am really sorry your dealing with them now. Let's hope that both dh and FIL turn out fine. Pain symptoms can be so many things...even excruciating ones. Best wishes.
 

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<p>((((hug))))</p>
 

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<p>Oh, mama!  I'm so sorry!  I wish you and your family all the best!  :hug</p>
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<p>Jenne</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></span>I'm sorry.</p>
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<p>I have FIL like that too (He stitched his own thumb when it needed stitched rather than go to doctor <span><img alt="duh.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/duh.gif"></span>) It can be tough.</p>
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<p>Praying everything goes perfect for zero regrowth.</p>
 

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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"> I hope everything is fine. Tidbit from my family, my sister is a MD: she always assumes the worst case scenario or at least feels that she has to mention it. It's sort of her nature, but as my DH points out, it's somewhat a German feature as well (I don't know if your FIL is German, but since you live there and he does too, I thought maybe), we tend to be a whole lot more negative than Americans who seem to always have a cheery attitude. My BIL just has had one of those kind of tumors removed. They would really say if they suspected something bad, but right now I'm convinced that they are truthful and that they just want to clean out the cells to ensure they got it all.</span></p>
 

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Discussion Starter #10
<p>thanks everyone, really. by the end of the day, i am feeling much better, much more rational about everything.</p>
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<p>nia- my fil is german, and i think that your dh might be right about germans being less "cheery." maybe it has something to do with the endless gray skies- lol.  and i think that you are right about the dr. being honest about it being only preventive.</p>
<p>i should go over to the thanksgiving thread now....</p>
 

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<p>glad you're feeling better!</p>
 
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