[minkajane]

There's a crowd of kids in our neighborhood that concerns me. Two of them are 13 or 14, the others (4 or 5 of them) are between 7 and 10. I know that some of them are siblings, but I'm not sure which ones. They're behaving very badly and I'm afraid to take DS out to play now. Yesterday, I had to stop one of the big ones who was repeatedly throwing a basketball into the stomach of one of the small ones, who was laying on the ground crying. He excused it by saying "But he called us punks!" They're always hitting and punching and using foul language. Today, they were running around throwing pebbles and small rocks at one another for fun. There's a wooden train outside our house for kids to play on and these kids have torn it apart. Our neighbor had to put out a fire one day that they had started in the train. There's more and more trash laying around it. Today, DH saw them throwing things at the train, seeing if they could break it, and called the cops, but they left before the cops arrived.

I have no idea where these kids live, because they take off in different directions every day. They're out at all hours of the day and night. I've never once seen an adult around them. We've reported their actions to the office, but so far the only response we've gotten is for them to clean up the trash every couple of days. They haven't fixed the train.

We can hardly take DS out to play anymore, because he thinks all the little kids are his friends and wants to play with them. I feel bad saying no, but when they're beating each other up and breaking things and cussing, I don't want him around them. We don't go out at all anymore when even one of the kids from the group is within sight, because that means the rest are about to show up. It's making me nervous to even take the dog out anymore because you never know when they're going to show up.

WWYD? We've called the office and the cops and spoken to the kids ourselves. What else can we do?

 

[angelandmisha]

That sounds scary and no fun! You should be able to enjoy your outside area free of worry. It sounds like maybe you live in an apartment complex or something like that (you said you've talked to the office)? Perhaps you could find other concerned parents who could approach the management with you? Is there a neighborhood watch program in your area? Could the police come and help you set one up? Could you ask the police to patrol more frequently?

Those are just some things that pop to mind. Hopefully someone else may have better ideas. Good luck, it sounds like an uncomfortable situation at best. How do those kids respond when you or your dh speak to them? If they're not too full of attitude, maybe you should just inform them that their language is not appropriate around little ones, same with other things they do... Although it sounds like they might be a little more out of hand than that approach.

 

[Tjej]

I don't know if this is something you'd be comfortable with doing or not, but one harder (but possibly rewarding) way to work on this would be to bring out popsicles for everyone (or other treats) and sit with them and share and talk. Do it a number of times to get to know them, where they live, what their deal is. While doing it, you could talk to them about how they are an example to younger kids, and what that can mean.

It might be a bit much to do that with so many kids while managing your own, but with a tray of rice krispie bars or popsicles or something they'd likely sit and talk for 5 minutes, and it might make things less confrontational.

Tjej