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Hi, I'm new to this forum and I would like your opinion on something I have been thinking about for a while now. Does anyone else feel like their natural parenting style is opposite to what their child needs? I have a natural tendency to be permissive but that is not what my highly persistent, highly determined and highly independent almost 6 year old ds needs. He needs clear, firm boundaries and he is CONSTANTLY testing them. I feel like I am in conflict with him most of the time, because I am, and my spirit is dying a very slow and painful death as a result. Consequences seem more like threats by the end of the day and some days I’m just too physically and mentally drained to follow through. Yelling, of course, doesn’t help the situation. Now add in the ‘newly 3’ behavior from dd, combined with the age old sibling rivalry, and it’s a wonder I even know who I am anymore. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
How do I balance my need for flexibility and tranquility with my ds’s need for ‘boundary enforcer’?<br><br>
TIA for your thoughts.<br><br>
J
 

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Could you sit down with DS and write a list of rules, what the natural consequences are, what he thinks the consequences would/should be, and a daily routine? This way he knows the boundries, what will happen if he does not do stay on track, and you will know how he feels about things. It's a good way to get him involved and to share some responsibility.<br><br>
Have you read "How to Negotiate with Kids..."? - <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FNegotiate-Kids-Even-Think-Shouldnt%2Fdp%2F0670031828" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Negotiate-Kids.../dp/0670031828</a><br><br>
I really liked this book and it's helps me when I feel like I'm losing my way.
 
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