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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
who is planning on one?

we are. My Dh and his side are roman catholic and i'm not. However, I have no problem with participating in their faith (at least the aspects I agree with) with/for our children. I want them to grow up in / with a good solid christian belief system. If they change thier mind/beliefs/etc... when they are older, that is fine, at least they had something to base it on, you know?

While my Dh is RC, he is not practising (sp?), and we have similar beliefs and value systems.

Because we don't go to church (easter and x-mas so far), we don't 'belong' to a church. There are several RC churches in our area, including the one we got married at.

When we want to Baptise Baby how do I go about setting that up? Do we have to belong to a church? can we just go in and talk to the secretary at any church we want and set up a time? Do they take place during mass/service or is it a seperate event? cost?

I tried searching for a Catholic Mommies thread, but it didn't bring anything up. Maybe someone here will have answers or can point me in the right direction.

I'm going to make the christening gown and it is going to be long and gorgeous. I'm planning on using my Mom's wedding gown and parts of a gown my MIL brought back from the Phillipines. (i asked for fabric, but I dont' think she understood, oh well... I can canabilize the gown she did bring
)
 

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This is a very sticky subject with me. DH is catholic...I'm nothing. I did not want to baptize our son but I ended up capitulating on it in the end.

Call your local catholic church and ask them. I know that you're going to have to enroll in a class before you can have your baby baptized but I'm not sure if they will charge you for it or not.

We had DS baptized in the church DH grew up in (he was an altar boy...went to school there) and they did it free of charge. We tried to tip the priest, but he refused to accept it ($50) so we put it in the donation box instead. They cut a lot of strings for us to baptize DS there (we were visiting from out of town) because his mom is friends with the priest and has done a lot for the church. So we didn't pay anything, didn't take any classes, and they did a private ceremony on a Saturday afternoon.
 

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My husband and I are both Roman Catholic, and we are planning on having our baby baptised. Since you don't attend your church regularly, I don't know how all of this will work out for you, but I will tell you what we did with the church we attend regularly. They have a person in charge of all the baptism stuff. So, we called the church office and asked to speak to her. I would bet your church has someone in a similar role. We were told we had to take a baptism preparation class, which is one night a week (2 hours) for three weeks. Once we have completed the class we can then schedule a date to do the actual ceremony. I also know that once you take the class you don't have to retake it for subsequent kids unless you have them more than 5 years apart (or something like that). It was pretty simple to get signed up. We have to fill out some paperwork for the God parents and all that stuff, but it doesn't seem to be too complex. The literature they sent us also has quite a bit of information for people who don't attend our church regularly, or for couples where one of the partners isn't really into the whole thing. So, it seems like they try to make it available to everyone who is interested. Again, I'm not sure exactly how your church works, but it really did seem to be an easy process. I hope that helps, and I wasn't just rambling
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Good thread by the way! Well, with our last little bean, we are NOT going to baptise him/her. My older twin girls were, as I was just not up for the argument from my Mom on WHY we didn't do this. Both my hubby and I were raised Roman Catholic. I was confirmed (something automatically done these days without the kids REALLY realizing what they are committing themselves to) but dh was not. This time, we are electing to have a baby naming ceremony, done in the Ojibway style. (Long story behind this.) I don't want to participate in the Catholic traditions, except for the younger twin wants to go to church, that I take her to. The older twin prefers to go to the MKD meetings with me, and be spiritual in the Native American way. Go figure. At least I feel like I am giving them the freedom to choose their own way of spirituality. It can be tough!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by katt
who is planning on one?

When we want to Baptise Baby how do I go about setting that up? Do we have to belong to a church? can we just go in and talk to the secretary at any church we want and set up a time? Do they take place during mass/service or is it a seperate event? cost?

I'm going to make the christening gown and it is going to be long and gorgeous. I'm planning on using my Mom's wedding gown and parts of a gown my MIL brought back from the Phillipines. (i asked for fabric, but I dont' think she understood, oh well... I can canabilize the gown she did bring
)
Katt,
I would suggest going to mass at a few of the churches you are interested in and get a feel for the priest and the people there. Who knows, you may find a place that is really great. My dh is NOT Catholic but I am VERY Catholic--it was important to me to find a place he was comfortable with for baptisms and when I could talk him into going with us.

Some churches have the baptism during mass--ours has a separate baptism which I actually preffered because it was way easier with squirmy little kids and all the family and stuff. It didn't feel like we were interupting mass.

The cost is usually just for the candle and there may be an offering requested, too. Enjoy this special time, too!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinMomWendy
. I was confirmed (something automatically done these days without the kids REALLY realizing what they are committing themselves to) but dh was not. At least I feel like I am giving them the freedom to choose their own way of spirituality.
That is awesome that you are open to let them choose
I know what you mean about the confirmation thing-my ma caused a stir by letting me leave the church just in time to miss out on confirmation..boy did that cause turmoil w/ my family


Anyway about baptism: I was baptised in the RC church in ym neighborhood b/c that's wehre my dad grew up, etc.
I know my parents didn't even go to church or anything at that time but they were still able to have me baptised. I highly doubt that my mom would've sat through some class first. So I suppose it deonds on your particular church-call around first and compare what each offers/requires.
 

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My DH is catholic. I am not easily described in terms of religion. I have always supported having the children baptised if that was his desire. So far he hasn't pursued it.
 

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DH and I are Catholic and will baptize our children. In our church I have seen it done both ways, during mass and as a separate ceremony. I personally prefer the separate ceremony, but that jmo....

When we need to schedule something with the church we usually just call the rectory up and talk with the secretary who does the scheduling, and she checks in with the priests to see who is available. I am not sure if we have baptismal preparation at our church...something I will have to look into....
 

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Well, we're not catholic (or is it Catholic?) but we did have our daughter baptised. We go to an Episcopal church and there were no classes or fees for baptism. Maybe it would be different if we weren't already members. I know the Catholic church can have some stricter rules. We found our church when we were engaged and looking for a priest we connected with. We ended up falling in love with the church and attending ever since. We did have to go through counseling with the priest before getting married. I know you're not talking about getting married, but they're both sacraments, no?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
now, the next question is:
Should we try and have our child baptised in the same church we were married in with their priest OR use the Deacon that married us and go to his church?

(we used a deacon from one church to marry us in another)
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
good questions... could be either or none if we move.
we've never met the priest, but the building is more likely to be there then the deacon if he gets moved, ya know?

I suppose it just ends up being which is most important to us... I tend to lean toward the bldg. cause it is a gorgeous church and i'm very visually oriented.
 

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I personally would prefer the person and place I am comfortable with...we have a family friend who is a priest and he baptized and married all four of us (me and my sister and brothers), in addition to marrying my parents and baptizing a couple of my nephews. Even though he is no longer at our church, we can still reserve the church and he can come do the baptism at our church (so I guess that would be kind of the best of both worlds if you could do that - your deacon at your church.....maybe it is possible????)
 

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I was raised RC (baptized as an infant) and am now Lutheran (we also baptize our babies). If you're wanting to baptize the baby for the sake of having the baby baptized, you can even have that done in the hospital by the priest on call - almost all hospitals have one (and I'm coming from a hospital birth assumption - please forgive me if that's not the case). If you're wanting it done for the ceremonial reasons as well, then you do need to consider the local churches.

It really upsets me to hear of churches CHARGING to baptize a child - that's just rediculous! Since when do we pay for God's grace?!?!?! I'm seriously ill at the thought!

Most RC churches have parents go through some sort of class - either as a group or one on one with the priest. Many churches have group baptisms once a month, every other month, 3-4 times a year... especially as you get into larger churches. That's something else you'll have to consider.

I agree with going to the different churches in the area - either for Mass or just to meet with the priests - and see what kind of feel you get for what will be your child's church home. As for if you want the priest at your church or the deacon at another church - that's a personal decision. Again, talk to the different people involved officially with the baptisms at the churches and see what each requires.

Our churches (my husband is a pastor at two little churches) are very small - we'll do a baptism in the middle of the service as soon as the baby is born if the parents want - preferably within the first month of life, but whenever. Where my son was baptized, they have 2-3 baptisms a year... and that's slowing down. Where this child will be baptized, this is the first baptism in 4 years... and the one before that was 6 years prior. So we just do them as soon as there is a need.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gen_here

It really upsets me to hear of churches CHARGING to baptize a child - that's just rediculous! Since when do we pay for God's grace?!?!?! I'm seriously ill at the thought!

This is not true. You pay for the candle (which you use again for first communion) for ceremonial purposes--but you can always bring your own candle and these are just a few cents. The rest of the cost is a DONATION and if you really can't afford it, they won't deny Baptism. This goes to the making/printing of the Baptismal certificate (which is a legal document--you pay for a birth certificate, don't you?).

Our parish has a very beautiful document printed and then a calligrapher writes in the date and the Child's name. It is really beautiful and I plan on having our child's framed.

So, the church is not charging for the baptism.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by carmel23

So, the church is not charging for the baptism.
I agree with this. When we baptised DD, a family friend did it at the chapel at his order's (Fransciscan Friars of the Renewal) headquarters. We told him we wanted to make a donation, and he said it was not necessary, but if we wanted to, that it should be modest.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gen_here

It really upsets me to hear of churches CHARGING to baptize a child - that's just rediculous! Since when do we pay for God's grace?!?!?! I'm seriously ill at the thought!

Most churches ask for a "donation" of some sort, and don't ask for a certain amount. They do this because, (I asked a priest friend of mine) many people who were baptized themselves, but don't attend church regularly, ask for their kids to be baptized, and don't really help support the church by regular attendance and tithing. So, you kind of have to look it from the standpoint as "renting" the church and the pastor's time.
 

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We're planning a baptism asap after birth. According to our beliefs, baptism of infants now plays the same role of the covenant that circumcision used to, so it is very important!
We will be baptising at the church we've attended since we married, probably will be by the same pastor who married us and baptised Gracie.
 
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