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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I haven't posted on here much, mainly because of my children and my dh(they always decide they need attention as soon as I get on the computer), but I am going insane. I'm only at 12 weeks (due at the end of December) and I've been on bedrest for the past week! I started having bleeding a week ago Friday, and it was bright red gushes. I had called my shadow care OB who said it sounded like the placenta detaching a slight bit, and to take it easy, and then went into see her on Monday. During the u/s, they found that I had been carrying twins (one was no longer viable) and that I had a subchorionic hematoma! I was put on strict bedrest (HAH - I've got a 11 yo, a 3 yo and a 15 mo). We got emergency daycare for the week and I've tried my best to not do much but unfortunately I've had bleeding almost every night since then. I've got another appt on Monday to check the size of the hematoma and I'm going crazy. I can't be on bedrest for weeks at a time. First of all, daycare is way too spendy for us, and secondly, our house is falling down around my ears. My DH works long hours at a very physical job and barely has the energy to eat, let alone clean the house, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, take care of the kids, etc. So I guess I just needed to whine a bit. I'm not sure what we are going to do if the hematoma hasn't shrunk. I can't be on bedrest any longer, but I also can't see not doing everything I can to save my little one. Grrr.... I've read the stories about everything turning out fine, and I've read the stories about everything not being okay, and I'm going insane. I know there is never any guarantee in life, but I wish I could get through just one pregnancy without having massive problems (my kidneys have had massive difficulties in past pregnancies). Okay, all done whining, thanks so much for listening!
 

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Oh NO!!!!!! I am so sorry! Please please please vent all you want here. Believe me, if there was any way I would come over and clean your house for you.

Big hugs to you!
 

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I'm so sorry for the loss of the twin and that you are having such a difficult go of it. I hope everything checks out at your next appt.

I have no idea in this kind of case, but you may want to research the benefits of bed rest for this kind of problem. Sometimes I think bedrest is prescribed mostly b/c they just don't know what else to do. It's possible that light activity wouldn't have any worse outcomes than strict bedrest and it would sure make your life easier. It would definitely be worth checking into.

Best wishes.

Christa
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for the thoughts, expectantmami, it does help to get out of my head sometimes!

And thank you Crsta, for your thoughts as well. We weren't too horribly upset about the other twin. Sounds terrible, but twins would have killed us! This pg was totally not planned (I was on the minipill) and we are having a hard enough time wrapping our brains around the thought of another child. Can't even imagine having two! Although it feels sad that a life that we made isn't going to join us, I think the universe understood that it was more than we could handle. I feel absolutely awful saying that, knowing how hard it is TTC (we tried for over 3 years before getting preggo with my 3 yo), but it is our truth right now.

As for whether or not bedrest is needed, I've looked at what studies I can find, and it really depends on how big the hematoma is. Unfortunately, the OB did not have time to measure it due to an emergency another patient was having. So I am trying to patiently wait until tomorrow's appointment when she can measure and then I can make the decision about whether or not it really is necessary. The studies I've seen show that it does help to be on bedrest for the larger hematomas, but really doesn't change outcome with the smaller ones.

Thanks again for listening!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ckmoore View Post
We weren't too horribly upset about the other twin. Sounds terrible, but twins would have killed us! This pg was totally not planned (I was on the minipill) and we are having a hard enough time wrapping our brains around the thought of another child. Can't even imagine having two! Although it feels sad that a life that we made isn't going to join us, I think the universe understood that it was more than we could handle. I feel absolutely awful saying that, knowing how hard it is TTC (we tried for over 3 years before getting preggo with my 3 yo), but it is our truth right now.
I so totally understand where you are coming from...we had difficulty conceiving the 1st time and we too are on our third, and very unexpected, unplanned, and sometimes unwanted
pregnancy. I want the baby very much, but there are days I just really really really do *not* want to do this pg, labor and birth thing again.
: It's overwhelming and I'm having an "easy" pg! Wish you were too.

Let us know how things go tomorrow.
 

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Awwww momma, I'm so sorry things are rough for you
BIG WARM HUGS! Do you have family that could help w/the kids and house? Also, get the kids and DH in on the action!!! You don't need to be stressing over the house on top of everything else. That being said, i hope your appt goes well tomorrow and your little bean is doing ok in there! Please let us know how it goes~it must be hard being on bed rest this early on
 

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Welcome to the ddc, ckmoore, and big hugs for all you are going through right now! I'm so sorry; I know it must be chaotic on top of all the health concerns to be dealing (or rather, not able to effectively deal!) with all the normal day-to-day running of a home!

My first thought is: Do you have church or a similar sort of support base that you can turn to? Just let your need (someone to come in and help you do things for an hour or two each day) be known, and it is so amazing to me how time after time, it turns out there is someone who is able and willing to fill that need just perfectly!

I agree with the pp about researching light and total bedrest and figuring out what you are able to do, but I also think that in most cases, the more you can devote to your own personal healing and rest, the better. But only if that "rest" doesn't create additional stress for you because of not being able to get it all done!

I sincerely hope that you feel better soon, and that the bleeding resolves. And in the meantime, I hope you can find someone who can help you out in the things you need to keep life going! If nothing else, surely your 11 yo can help by putting in laundry and starting dinner in the crockpot?

Best of wishes,
 

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no advice or ideas-just hugs and prayers for you and your baby. Hope you can find some peace in this stressful time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts. I went in today and everything looked good. The hematoma had shrunk a bit and baby looked great. The non viable baby still is taking up about half of my uterus, which she said is weird, but as the little bean grows, it will compress the nonviable baby and I shouldn't have any problems with that. She said to take it really easy for a few days, and if I have don't have any fresh bleeds, everything should be fine. Otherwise, if I have another big bleed, I'm straight back to bedrest for a week. I am keeping my fingers crossed because I am going crazy already!

Thanks again.
 

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What good news! Thanks for keeping us posted. hope the rest of the bleeding stops soon.
 
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