[gaialice]

Hi,
I have two girls age 4.5 and 2.5. Neither of them naps anymore
I need to wake them at 8 o clock to be in time at the daycare and at my office. We have a set bedtime routine that we follow every night. They seem to enjoy that. However when I put them in their respective beds (I can't cosleep, they ALWAYS sleep sideways through the bed and I wake up with excruciating back pain) all hell breaks loose and they:
- crack jokes
- laugh
- want to drink from their no-spill bottles which are on their bedsides
- get up
- cry
- want to go to the toilet (they went at bedtime)
And then I try try try to stay calm, but cannot after a while b'se I work full time and I am with my kids on my own Mo-Thursday, and eventually I scream

: and I hit the wall with my fists....

: ... Then I say I am sorry will never do that again..... But I do

: Mind you I never yell bad things... I just yell that I am tired exhausted and I need rest. I do not think this actually scares them all that much (sometimes it just makes them laugh even louder) but it is not a good example of how you deal with anger, is it? I am so good at GD and Playful Parenting during the day, but I lose it at bedtime.

:
I tried the following:
- discuss it with them during the day
- leave the room (in this case they open their bottles and empty contents on their beds, pajamas etc and otherwise have a great time with one another)
Eventually they sleep too late and waking them in the morning is the piece of cake you can all imagine......

 

[WinterWillow]

I so understand what you are going thru

My two girls share a room also (4.5 & 2) and a lot of nights they end up playing in there room instead of going to sleep. Maybe putting one to bed earlier than the other one if that is possible. We're still trying to figure out how to get them to sleep. It is really hard!

 

[carrietorgc]

hmm, what about ditching the cups and explaining that since they spill the contents, once the bedtime routine is over the sippies with water are over too.

i wish i had btdt advice, but i don't - dd is 2 and generally falls asleep within 15 min or so of one of us laying with her.

 

[kiahnsmum]

My 2 sleep with me in the same bed si i am usually putting them to bed together and they are always trying to touch each other or kiss (most of the time this is really cute) but it keeps them awake. My ds likes me to tell him a story and sing so if things are getting out of hand i threaten that he wont get a story if he doesnt settle down, i have only not told a story 1 time that got the message across so this threat always works for me.
Is there anything you can say they will miss out on if they dont quiet down and stay in their beds.
I only have sympathy for you, i dont work and i'm tired so you are coping better than me.

 

[kavamamakava]

Can you add a little more structure to their bedtime? My almost 3 yr old gets all giddy and giggly at bedtime and doens't want to stay in bed either. She has always been restless at bedtime and had hard time falling asleep. Here's what I do and maybe this will help:
We put pajamas on after bath. Then I heat up some milk to boiling on the stove, add a little maple syrup and let it cool down some. The milk helps them get sleepy. It has tryptophans or something like that when it's hot which helps you fall asleep.
Then I tell them to each pick three books.
I read the books as best I can with Nadia constantly grabbing them (she's 2) and sometimes she gets to read her own book and I just read to Skanda.
He is usually pretty tired and curls up with me and Nadia goes beserk. After the books, I hug and kiss goodnight and leave the room.
Nadia almost always come back out. I give her a hug and kiss and say goodnight again and walk her back and tuck her in. She comes out again. And again. But she always goes back in. Eventually, she falls asleep. Sometimes she has way too much energy and can't fall asleep so I tell her that I can see she isn't ready for bed yet and she can have 10 minutes to run around the kitchen. She does it, I walk her back.
My oldest wasn't good at going to bed until 3 1/2 anyway so I figure this is just an age thing and she'll get better. I tell myself that my consistency will pay off. I hope so.

Also, one way I get my kids up on the morning without a struggle is to take their pajamas off while they are sleeping and gently set them into a half way filled tub of warm water. This totally avoids morning struggles for me. I brush their teeth (or let them brush their own) while they sit in the tub. And then I brush their hair while they are in the tub too. We talk about what they are going to wear and while I go get it for them, they get out of the tub and dry off.

 

[Victorian]

Quote:

- crack jokes - laugh - want to drink from their no-spill bottles which are on their bedsides - get up - cry - want to go to the toilet (they went at bedtime)

What time are you putting them to bed? Is it too early? Too late? Are they watching TV? That might be winding them up. Do they eat a lot of sugar/caffine? Have you had them tested for allergies? What is it like when you are not alone? Does your partner put them to bed? is the schedule complely different?

How about this:

bathtime
snack
teeth
story
last drink (night, night tippies)
Bathroom

Lights out except for one very low one in the corner with the adult chair. Sit there for 30 mintures reading a book. If they giggle ignore it. If they get up kiss them and return them to bed. I they want a drink remind them that tippy go night night. After 30 minutes tell them that it is sleep time and you expect them to go to sleep. Each time they get up, return them to bed. After a while they do give up

My dd was TERRIBLE at 4 for fighting sleep, but it does get better.

Above all, I would remain calm. (which is so hard because they are pushing your buttons). OR make it a joke (let's all lose it now and get it out of the way and have a pillow fight).

One more thought...are they getting enough excercise and fresh air? That makes all the difference in the world!

V.

 

[kennedy444]

This sounds like a story my friend just saw on one of those Nanny TV shows. The parents had a terrible bedtime with two kids. Two things Nanny suggested --

no sippy cups in bed; when child comes out of room just pick her up and returrn her to bed without uttering a word. Do this 10 times if you need to. The kids are just looking for the littlest bit of attention. It may be 15 times the first night, 10 the next and then 5 and so on.

put kids in separate rooms if at all possible. Even if it means giving up an office, etc.

Also, with all your might, don't scream. After growing up with a screamer I know, as a child, how awful it feels.

Good luck.

 

[gaialice]

Thanks everyone for all these replies and support
I think by reading your posts I realized there is one flow in my bed routine and that is the moment when we are done with stories (which we read on the couch in the living room) and they have to go to their beds. I think it would be a ton better if I could read to them while they are in bed already. They always resisted it, because their beds are small and with a bed rail which is not easy to remove so, everyone is more comfy on the sofa. But, I could add one extra story when they are in bed already. I would then be able to direct them to their beds gently, saying "one more story as soon as you your head's on the pillow". It is funny, when we are on the sofa, they yawn and yawn but the process of transferring the two to their beds wakes them completely...

 

[gaialice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian What time are you putting them to bed? Is it too early? Too late? Are they watching TV? That might be winding them up. Do they eat a lot of sugar/caffine? Have you had them tested for allergies? What is it like when you are not alone? Does your partner put them to bed? is the schedule complely different?

The answer to all the above is that: bedtime may be half an hour too late, but it is hard to "get it all done" since I am alone with the two and I do not want to hurry them. When dh is there, the schedule is the same but becomes even later. He does not at all like to be hurried.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian How about this: bathtime snack teeth story last drink (night, night tippies) Bathroom

I think that I might revise the schedule and do bath pajamas before dinner, rather than after as right now. Otherwise we have a lot of chores: bath, teeth, bathroom one after the other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian Lights out except for one very low one in the corner with the adult chair. Sit there for 30 mintures reading a book. If they giggle ignore it. If they get up kiss them and return them to bed. I they want a drink remind them that tippy go night night. After 30 minutes tell them that it is sleep time and you expect them to go to sleep. Each time they get up, return them to bed. After a while they do give up My dd was TERRIBLE at 4 for fighting sleep, but it does get better.

What do you do if they scream for their sippy cups?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victorian One more thought...are they getting enough excercise and fresh air? That makes all the difference in the world!

They do most days, but it is earlier in the day. I wish I could somehow fit in a half hour outside in the bedtime ritual, and I did when I had just one, but with two I can't manage. Perhaps, I should give up dinner (they hardly eat it anyways) and offer them a snack outside instead. That would buy time.

Thanks Victorian, I need to rethink this through...

 

[gaialice]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kavamamakava Also, one way I get my kids up on the morning without a struggle is to take their pajamas off while they are sleeping and gently set them into a half way filled tub of warm water. This totally avoids morning struggles for me. I brush their teeth (or let them brush their own) while they sit in the tub. And then I brush their hair while they are in the tub too. We talk about what they are going to wear and while I go get it for them, they get out of the tub and dry off.

This is soo sweet!