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sigh. I'm at my wit's end. I'm new to GD, trying to understand. I've read and read, I've ordered a few books from the library, but I just can't wait to start working on our bedtime battle. So I am asking for any and all advice.<br><br>
I'm very very tired, so I hope I can get this out in a logical fashion.<br><br>
Here is our situation. Right now it is 9:30 pm. I put my two dd's, 5 yo and 3 yo, to bed almost 2 hours ago. We have a bedtime routine of potty, teeth brushing, story, prayer and a kiss goodnight. The girls share a room. They have a night light. Right now, they are still awake, and I have yelled so loudly at them several times, people in the next town now know my kids won't stay in bed.<br><br>
They are not expected to "go to sleep", ie they can look at books and lay quietly in bed. I do expect them to be quiet, but I can tolerate a little whispering. The problem is that unless they are exhausted, they don't stay in bed, they jump around, sing songs, play with the few toys in there, turn the light on, sit in the window and count passing cars, anything but lay quietly and look at a book.<br><br>
I am working HARD to stop swatting, so now I'm yelling. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
The other big pieces of this problem is that I have a younger child, 14 months and a baby on the way. I also need to be in bed by about 8 pm, because I get up at 1:00 AM to go do a paper route. Dh tries to help, but he "overtalks" the girls, trying to explain why they should be quiet in ways that are over their head...or at least don't seem to make much sense to them. He also would bring them water, read more stories, say prayers again, etc. In other words, he is a total push over (and that is a topic for another post) He does help with the 14 mo, keeping him downstairs, but the noise from up here (both the girls's noise and my yelling) don't help him get the baby to sleep.<br><br>
My room is next to theirs and I just can't fall asleep until I know they are.<br><br>
I searched this forum for bedtime questions and read the replies. A lot of you advised that laying down with the child is a great way to solve this. Unfortunately, this won't work for us. First, there are two of them and one of me. Second, I NEED the 1/2 hour or so between their bedtime and mine to have time to myself. This is the ONLY time during the day that I can check email or take a shower or journal.<br><br>
We do family bed for the first year, and then have baby in our room for another year or two. There is no room in our room now for two more people.<br><br>
They get plenty of exercise during the day, and we don't eat much sugar, etc. Dinner is at 6 or 6:30 and bedtime is 7:30, so hunger isn't an issue, either.<br><br>
So, we have a routine. Laying down with them is not an option for us. We've tried seperate bed times, but the younger one would often not fall asleep while the older one would (on the couch) and have to be carried up, please having her downstairs made having serious conversations with dh impossible. Plus now, the baby is playing down there, so that would encourage her to play, instead of preparing to sleep.<br><br>
So it is now 9:50, they are quiet but not asleep. I will attempt to go to bed and get the 3 hours of sleep that will have to do until tomorrow night. I really need to solve this problem. I need more sleep, but more, I'm frustrated that bedtime has become a time of yelling and tears. I want going to sleep to be a positive thing, not an ordeal.<br><br>
Can anyone help?<br><br>
Rebecka
 

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Hmmmm.....<br><br>
It sounds like they might benefit from a longer bedtime routine and a later bedtime. Perhaps DH could take over the longer bedtime, since it sounds like he wouldn't mind... Maybe he could take your little one in there, too (with some quiet toys), and read several books, back to back, giving you the half-hour you need for yourself. And when he leaves, maybe a regular book on tape would help keep them quiet and still, but still entertained.
 

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try posting in the family bed forum. you might get more responses.<br><br>
my ideas:<br>
can your girls share a bed?<br><br>
agree with the idea of a longer nighttime routine. maybe more stories? ours is something like 2 hrs long --- dinner, quiet play, bath time, change, 2 stories from dad, 2 stories from mom, nurse, bed time. No exciting play from dinner on (unless bath time gets out of hand, which it usually doesn't).<br><br>
also wanted to add that yelling might be stimulating them.<br><br>
can one of you hang out in their room for a while? meaning maybe just a parent laying in there with them would be enough to get them relaxed?<br><br>
quiet music and when the cd stops no more talking?<br><br>
let dh take over more?<br><br>
maybe some role playing on what you might do when you can't sleep -- cuddle a baby, quietly read a book, etc.
 

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1) do they HAVE to be quiet?<br>
2) Perhaps they need more exercise b4 bed. My girls and DW pillow fight and Sumo Wrestle b4 a story.<br>
3) If they are not fighting, hurting each other, being mean, then evrything is ok. The next time you have the desire to yell, hold up, maybe join their conversation.<br>
4) Bed down with them.<br>
5) If you are watching TV when they are going to bed, switch it off.<br>
6) My girls are a riot. If tey are not in bed by 11pm, we have a snack!<br>
7) Laughter is the healthiest exercise b4 bed.<br><br>
Hope this helps.<br><br>
a
 

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And blow raspberrieson their tummies.<br><br>
a
 

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I cannot imagine putting 2 kids that age down to bed in the same room and expecting them to be quiet and go to sleep. I think its a completely unrealistic expectations. (A nice fantasy maybe.)<br><br>
What about putting the older one to bed first in her own bed, since she seems to fall asleep more easily. Maybe with a story tape or music to listen to. And then putting the 3 year old to sleep in another bedroom by snuggling with her? Then carry her in to her bed after she falls asleep.
 
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