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I know I'm wasting way too much mental energy on this, so now I'll waste some of yours! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
My mom and her fiance are both turning 50 this year. His birthday was last week, hers is in July. DH and I decided to do a joint celebration of some sort in mid-June for the both of them. Mom has 3 brothers, and 3 sisters, her DF has just one brother. On Thanksgiving I got chatting with his SIL and mentioned the party idea. On Easter, I talked to one of my mom's sister's about it. Neither was a definite, set in stone thing, as we had no idea where/what we wanted to do. Originally we wanted to do a big party with the whole family, but that would be about 50 people, and wouldn't work at our house unless it was nice enough to be in the yard. We couldn't afford to rent a place or anything like that. That was one of the things I mentioned to my aunt, and she offered her house, but also thought we should do it July 4 (my mom's actual bday) since June is so busy (and in her opinion b/c my mom's bday is more important since her DF is not 'family' yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">). I really do not want to do that - I want it to be for both of them.<br><br>
A couple weeks ago, the SIL emailed me on Facebook, and she and I started chatting about some details. DH and I had decided we couldn't afford a huge party anyway, and thought we'd just have my sister, my mom's sisters and their families (she isn't very close to her brothers) and her DF's brother and SIL. I had told my mother we had a wedding on June 13th, and booked her to babysit. The SIL said that date was fine. Over the weekend, my aunt emailed me to ask about the plans, and to offer her house again. I emailed her back and told her what we were thinking, asked her to let me know what she thinks, and then I would send out the invite. She hasn't answered, and I really don't want to wait to invite the other sisters since it is coming up so soon. I feel like I owe it to her to make sure she can make it that day because she was in on the early stages of planning. I feel bad about just sending the invite, but I also know that trying to find a date that will work for everyone, and then making up some other excuse for my mom to babysit if the date changes, is not realistic either.<br><br>
If you can't tell, I'm a perpetual people-pleaser, and I'm having a really hard time knowing the right way to handle this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 

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What about calling your aunt to clarify everything directly? Email can be a hard way to know how someone is feeling.
 
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