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After some serious thought, and a very, VERY enlightening phone call from a fellow MDC member (thank you) I have decided that tonight... for the first time in a long time I am not going out to drink.<br><br>
My friend just came over and boxed up all of my hidden alcohol (yes, including the mini bottles in my lamp) and took it home, and he and my other friend took my car back to his house.<br><br>
They brought movies and popcorn and a TON of diet coke. But they are not going to stay tonight... I need to learn to be alone. I have to not be afraid to be alone.<br><br>
So, for the first time in at least 2 months I won't be hooking up with some random guy, and I won't drink myself into oblivion to forget STBX and every other crappy thing that has been haunting me...<br><br>
BUT, I'm gonna be on here A LOT... I can guartantee (sp) it... I'm terrified, but I know that I deserve more (and DS deserves more) than to be a drunk, promiscuous, trashy woman...<br><br>
I don't know why I posted this... maybe just so that I can try and hold myself accountable...
 

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You can do this. I have every confidence <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I am here for you. You can do this. I am proud of you for taking this step.
 

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I think it is a very gutsy thing to write this to hold yourself accountable. You are on the way, mama! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br>
take it one day at a time.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I think you're incredibly wonderful and brave for posting this. You're in my thoughts!
 

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You're awesome. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Yea, for you! (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))<br><br>
Tonight...just get through tonight. Then tomorrow, you can get through tomorrow.<br><br>
So what movies do you have to watch?<br><br>
Have you made your popcorn yet?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Wow Mama! Good for you!! I will be thinking about you tonight! It is one heck of a first step.
 

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It took a lot of courage to write up this post AND click send!<br><br>
I'm sure you can do it!
 

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A dear friend of mine took a similar journey. She's one of the best mothers I know. I have so much respect for you for having the insight to see your fears and habitual responses and the guts to face them head on.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> It's going to be okay. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> You're doing the right thing. Have you thought about a real life support group?<br><br>
One day at a time, you can do this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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Discussion Starter #19
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Finch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7899547"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> You're doing the right thing. Have you thought about a real life support group?<br><br>
One day at a time, you can do this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"></div>
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Not ready to admit this to real life people who are gonna give me real life looks.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>muckemom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7899554"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Not ready to admit this to real life people who are gonna give me real life looks.</div>
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Oh, mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I understand that. I really do. Just know that when you're ready, real life people <i>who have been there</i> will not give you looks. They won't. They've been there, the will lift you up, not judge. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> I think you're a brave mama.
 
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