[luv-my-boys]

We are in the process of getting our paperwork set up to foster/adopt. Dh is active duty career military. We have only heard positive things in terms of his employment, we stressed all the support and resources that would be available to us as a military family to our SW. Our concern is, in reality, if the moving around is going to be a con for us. We will be placed with a child before we move this duty station as the need for foster to adopt parents are few and far between here. but we fear that the child's SW might see that information and see it as a "con" I was wondering if anyone had been thru this or had any advice for me.

**also we have to put together a family profile book and im stressing over that too!!!

 

[momz3]

We are a military family (in the process of getting medically discharged out though), ...I'm not sure if it should necessarily be a negative ...How long are you at duty stations? Deployments? See, my husband wasn't deployable, so that kinda worked...but our adoption is a private one through a friend so...she directly placed him here.
I don't really know much...are you going through the state or an agency?

 

[Polliwog]

If you are likely to be moved before the birth parents parental rights are terminated and an adoption is initiated, it could very well be a problem. A social worker is less likely to recommend placement if there's a chance the child would have to be moved. Of course, there are rare circumstances where a child could move with you pre-adoption but it's not that common.

I wish you the best, though.

 

[grantskismom+1]

In my experience the SW won't see it as a con but they should. We were going to do foster/adopt. I talked it over with the SW and she told me that it wouldn't be a problem. I asked her what would happen if we PCS'd before the adoption was complete. Her words, "It won't be a problem. A judge would just spead up the termination of parental rights."

: She was just trying to get to become foster parents without any regard for what we wanted and the best interests of the child.

It's then we realized that foster-to-adopt was not for us. If we wanted to adopt from the foster care system we had to wait until we moved to a state with rules that were more condusive to military status. In the meantime we persued international adoption which worked out better for us.

 

[dawnofmotherhood]

Quote:

Originally Posted by grantskismom+1 It's then we realized that foster-to-adopt was not for us. If we wanted to adopt from the foster care system we had to wait until we moved to a state with rules that were more condusive to military status. In the meantime we persued international adoption which worked out better for us.

This is what happened with us, too.

I contacted the state agency, which was actively searching/recruiting foster/adopt families. I told her that my dh was deployed right now, but he would be home and we could do a homestudy on his R&R, then be ready for placement when he returned from his deployment. She basically told me that they would rather wait until he was home permanently. Well... when he gets home it will be March '09 - and then we would most likely PCS summer of 2010... probably not enough time for a foster/adopt state adoption.

So... we're adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia. We were able to d othe homestudy on dh's R&R - and we will be on the official waiting list hopefully by the first of the year. Hopefully, she will be home with us next summer/early fall.

BUT... if there is an adoption in progress, you can request to stay at your current duty station until it's finalized. HOWEVER... state adoptions can take years, if they are foster adopt and parental rights are not terminated. At least, this is my understanding and observation of others who have gone through the state systems.

 

[Tigerchild]

This was back in the dark ages of course, but when I was adopted I was placed with my parents because they were military, and they kept on asking when my dad would be transfered since I was with my biological family for about 2 weeks so the extended family got to hold/see me and the agency didn't want there to be any contact so they wanted me out of the area asap. My aparents were forbidden to bring me anywhere near the base because my bio family was tied to the military as well and the agency staff didn't want me to be recognized.

I think with the acceptance of at least some kind of open-ish adoption as the 'norm' that perhaps that's more of a problem now. I bet it matters less for international adoption. Probably doesn't matter for private adoptions either. But with the state/foster care, that's a stickier wicket.

I know lots of military people who have adopted (recently, not 30+ years ago.

) So it's not the kiss of death for an application. Depending on the state you're in it may be harder to adopt through the state. Doesn't hurt to ask around though.