[chel]

(This is posted in Learning in School, but so far I'm only getting general suggestion, no one with a child that is below average or in my case bottom of the barrel. I can't seem to link it over but will try to edit it in.)

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=496503

Does anyone have a child that performs below average in school. So far it doesn't seem that dd is "special needs" but is easily seen as the worst performer in her class (K) in reading and math. Now that dd is entering 1st and will start having weekly tests and such I'm looking for some BTDT parents on what to expect with a child that struggles with everything. My biggest concern is spelling tests. How will I get dd to learn to spell a couple of words a week when she can't even read the words.

 

[me&3]

My middle ds does not perform well in school. He just finished 1st grade. It isn't easy for him - he struggles (still) with reading, and has a hard time with following directions. Spelling was not easy this year, but also not tragic. I couldn't care less about how he scored on the test (usually not too bad), but doing the homework was just excruciating for both him and me!

I'm not sure what you're looking for here - what kind of advice? All I can say is that a lot depends on the attitude of the school and the teachers. We were lucky this past year with his teacher - she was very caring. The school also provided pull-out 3 times a week for reading. But be prepared to get frustrated with the homework. I am an educator by training, but oof, it was so hard not to get frustrated!

 

[me&3]

Oh, another thing I just thought of - my dh has been campaigning for over a year to have me agree to push him back a grade. It's kind of vogue around here to do that. I personally am against it.

Actually, my ds asked me out of the blue yesterday to keep him back! Wow, I had totally forgotten that until now... I have to go discuss with dh - I don't want him putting this in his head.

:

 

[chel]

thanks me. I'm starting to feel that I'm the only one. IRL I find people don't really talk about the academic struggles of their dc. I get looks of pity when people realize what level my dd is on.
Yes, the struggles. We had those in K! dd has no motivation to try. Most of her homework was writing numbers and letters over and over.
I felt dd's K teacher was putting lots of presure on Dh and I to "make" dd read yet the school couldn't offer any resources (besides dd meeting with someone twice in a 2 month period) The teacher couldn't even recommend a tutor. I eventually asked the secetary that gave me a number to someone that gave me a number

: The district is very small and they have to outsource "special services".

 

[me&3]

That is just *wrong* on so many levels. For one (and the most obvious), is that most kindergartners are just not *ready* developmentally to read. My eldest ds, who does fine in school (not stellar, mind you, but okay), didn't read until the end of 1st grade. I figure that my little guy, who I spoke about above, is even more delayed. But it's still in the range of *normal*.

I would caution you about a few things (not that you do this, but *I* have done it to regret it, and figure I may as well warn someone else!

) - do not label your child either to himself or especially not to the school. For example - when my eldest went into 2nd grade, we had spent the last part of the summer working on his math computation skills (because they had been so bad the year before). Well, because he had been working on it, he tested above average going in, and they placed him in the high math group. Stupidly, I expressed my shock about that - and within weeks, they brought him down 2 levels! A lot of how kids perform is how they are *expected* to perform. (Not that ds really should have been in the higher level - but I truly believe he would have strived for it, if both the teacher and I would have expected it.)

more later, have to get the kids off to the bus.

 

[chel]

interesting point on the labeling. I was planning on telling the teacher from the start that dd is having problems so hopefully she can get some extra help (seeing the reading specialist more often). dd is so far behind, even with all she has gained with the tutor that it's plain to see. currently dd, being very social, is having her friends "help" her with classwork (I'm not sure how much the teacher knew about this) overall dd is figuring ways around "learning" The first day of K the teacher asked the dc to write the ABC's. a month later at the PT meeting the teacher was showing Dh and I how well dd was doing and used this "test" as an example. I was shocked as dd can't even say the ABC's. At home dd said she just copied it off a chart on the wall.

for the most part all the dc seem very competitive about everything. how do you get around the labels?

 

[me&3]

Well, perhaps you don't need to worry so much about the labeling at this juncture - if the school district is so accelerated in the early grades, you're definitely going to want to get her the help she needs not to fall behind. But let me say again how shocking it is that K is so academic. Yikes. Good luck - from what you say, your dd doesn't sound affected by it, which is good. The key is to support their self-image - and it looks like your dd is really skilled with getting her friends on board with her! What a cutie!

 

[Terabith]

Do you have any other options in terms of schooling? That just sounds like a really bad school-kid mismatch. Montessori or other progress at your own pace type school, or a more developmental school? Homeschooling?

If none of those things are possible, here's what I would do, in no particular order....

1) I'd work on teaching her to read. Personally, I think six is a bit early to push reading, but I'd rather push reading than have a child have the self esteem issues of reading pushed in school and failing. I'd perhaps have some testing done to see if there are underlying learning disabilities. I'd order Cognitive Concepts Earobics and Sound Reading Solutions CD Roms to work on phonological processing. I'd get the I Am Sam books to work on decoding and fluency, and I'd pursue either ABeCeDarian or a Spalding based program (Spell to Write and Read, etc). Alternatively, Phonics Tutor or Funnix CD-ROMS for phonics instruction. And I would do lots and lots of reading aloud to her., for enjoyment. Once she has decoding under control and decent fluency, I'd work on comprehension (likely in a yr or two) with something like Lindamood Bell's Visualizing and Verbalizing or IdeaChain.

2) I'd work on cognitive skills via Audiblox and the Developing the Early Learner workbooks (Sonlight sells them).

3) I'd have her tested by a developmental optometrist and see if she needed vision therapy. I would get the Visual Perceptual Skill Building activities from Bright Minds to help strengthen visual processing even if vision therapy wasn't indicated. Might look into having hearing tested and getting a speech language and/ or OT eval.

4) I would do body work - look into cranial sacral therapy, chiropractic, sensory integration. I'd get Balametrics program and some Brain Gym books, do lots of outside play...bike riding, running, jumping on trampoline, skipping, playing with balls and bean bags, digging in sand, etc. I'd look into teaching her to knit and play the recorder, too (both work on crossing midline and build fine motor skills and concentration).

5) Math would be down there on my list in terms of priorities, but I'd try a couple things with her...maybe Kumon if she's more of a rote learner and you want a less intense supplement, or Right Start or Math U See math. Possibly Shiller if she's more multisensory, or Saxon even. Remember, you cannot rely on school to teach her things. You have to provide the foundation of her education. At this point for her, school will be nothing more than a demoralizing day care center. I hate to say that, but if she's at the bottom of the class and kindergarten is academic, that is really the reality. Esp if she doesn't qualify for special education.

6) Handwriting without Tears for handwriting.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

: for both of you!

 

[LynnS6]

Quote:

That is just *wrong* on so many levels. For one (and the most obvious), is that most kindergartners are just not *ready* developmentally to read. My eldest ds, who does fine in school (not stellar, mind you, but okay), didn't read until the end of 1st grade. I figure that my little guy, who I spoke about above, is even more delayed. But it's still in the range of *normal*.

I could not agree more. Some children are not developmentally ready to read until, gasp, age 7 or 8!!! They're not slow. They're not below average, they're just developing different things.

Hey, your daughter has great social skills and great coping skills -- those are going to get her far in life!

Their curriculum is completely developmentally inappropriate. Are there other options for schooling? Is there a way to talk to the teachers about reasonable expectations? If not, I'd talk to the teachers about extra help and make sure that your daughter gets lots of opportunities to feel competent in other ways.

 

[Terabith]

I just wanted to reiterate that while I'm giving those suggestions as things to do, I don't mean to imply that there is ANYTHING wrong with your dd. She sounds awesome and very intelligent and sociable. Great coping skills. The school is very inappropriate in its expectations. It's crazy. But, I know that in this George W NCLB-crapola world, sometimes that is the reality. My suggestions are just what I'd do if there wasn't another option education wise, since you wanted practical advice.