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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, all! I have been doing my own research on male circumcision for roughly 4 years now and I am completely against it. I have never found a justification that I wasn't able to easily debunk
I would definitely call myself an intactivist. The problem is my good friend has assisted in circumcisions, circumcised her first son, and will be doing the same to her son who will be born in a couple weeks. I have tried to inform her that the justifications Americans use to circumcise are very weak and in most cases blatantly untrue. She refuses to look further into the issue and she said she wants her sons to "match." It truly breaks my heart. I really can't look at her without thinking to myself "genital mutilator!" Anyone find themselves in a similar situation? How did you come
to terms with the fact that you couldn't save the baby and were you able to continue your friendship?
 

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You're going to have to let it go or let the friendship go. Think of it like this. We all make mistakes. Maybe you bottle fed, maybe you had an unnecessary c section, maybe you let your kids CIO, maybe you hit your kids, whatever. We all make parenting decisions that others don't agree with. Perhaps they strongly don't agree with. (Like you). In the end, we're all trying to do what we think is best for our children.

Hopefully, you can move on and not let this one issue define your relationship with your friend.
 

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Situations like this really suck because we can't fathom what thought processes the parent in question used in order to come to the decision to mutilate their precious son. Obviously that is not how they see it at all !!

Over the years I spoke to both my children about circumcision on many occasions , in the hope that any grand children would be left whole, as nature designed them. Well, a year ago my daughter, who is married to an American, gave birth to a delightful little boy. When he was a couple of weeks old DW went to help out for a bit, and on her return, informed me that they had circumcised him. All I could say was "I hope he forgives them". I did not want to visit them, or even talk to them for quite a while. In the end I did. I won't deny that it has affected how I feel about them, especially SIL, as I feel it was he who pushed for it, but I try to not let it affect the relationship. I just feel terribly sorry for my grandson and I hope that one day he confronts them over it, because they had all the information they needed to leave him whole.
 

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I think this topic can be hard to find clarity because we all grew up submerged in the culture of circumcision, and we may all temporarily want to sink back into that when we see the ones we care about in our lives do something like circumcise their sons. Here is a way to help yourself provide some clarity. Imagine this situation, and tell me what you immediately feel:

Imagine you have a best friend who is male, and he has assisted in performing a few female circumcisions (just removing the clit hood, not the clitoris) and had his first daughter circumcised, and is planning now to do the same to his new born daughter.

How would you feel? Would you have apprehension about letting go of the friendship? Would you want to keep the friendship?

Personally I think I pretty certain I know what most Americans would feel. They would feel horrified, they would report that best friend to child services! Its illegal!! What about that poor girls basic human rights!! How could a man, a father be so savage!!

When you flip the gender on this, we all see clearly how culture has tempered our true feelings. Pease don't feel guilty of letting go from people who do this kind of thing. Imagine if you had been born their son, they would have done this to YOUR BODY.
 

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I have no idea since I come from a country that does not routinely circumcise newborns, I would feel ill. Just wanted to offer some hugs. :Hug
 

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I have no idea since I come from a country that does not routinely circumcise newborns, I would feel ill. Just wanted to offer some hugs. :Hug
If you are from Australia, you ARE from a country that circumcises newborns. Maybe not in the high levels that Australia use to. (And you should be very proud to be a member of a country that has dropped their cutting levels so quickly!!) But Australia still has a active cutting culture.
 

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12% and quite a big proportion of that is the Jewish and Muslim section. I personalty have never seen a circumcised child in my 50 years. I don't consider a minority who still circumcise to makes us a country that routinely circumcises. Routine circumcision to me means hospitals offer it and it's common practice. I do know Brian Morris and his friend Dr Terry Russle have quite a bit to do with that minority; but parents who want it done will get short shift at most hospitals and with most people here and will have to seek out a doctor for themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My friend had her baby. Poor little guy had a rough childbirth and yet she will still strap him down and cut his genitals. I wish I could take comfort in the fact that I saved my son but I am so very angered by her and her husbands ignorance. They literally have all the information at their fingertips to know better but they choose to be uninformed.
 

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My friend had her baby. Poor little guy had a rough childbirth and yet she will still strap him down and cut his genitals. I wish I could take comfort in the fact that I saved my son but I am so very angered by her and her husbands ignorance. They literally have all the information at their fingertips to know better but they choose to be uninformed.
Never underestimate cultural indoctrination. On this very day there are Grandmothers in parts of Asia and Africa who are joyfully bringing their granddaughters to the local circumciser so they will slice off her clitoris, and some of her external folds. Tradition and culture are comforts. Well told "truths" spoken from the voices we trust in so many other ways. Its not an easy thing to separate out the good and the bad.

These people are still 100% responsible for the acts they are committing on their children, but facts are rarely the strongest decider for people. Emotion and comfort is.
 

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My friend had her baby. Poor little guy had a rough childbirth and yet she will still strap him down and cut his genitals. I wish I could take comfort in the fact that I saved my son but I am so very angered by her and her husbands ignorance. They literally have all the information at their fingertips to know better but they choose to be uninformed.
Hugs to you. I feel the same way about DD and SIL. I think it is the lack of common sense; of logic; not to mention the complete disregard for how the baby may grow up to feel about it that boggles my mind the most.
 
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