[Sweetiemommy]

I know there is no "best way" to space children, each age comes with its own strengths and weaknesses. Just wondering what everyone thinks about this topic.

 

[Alkenny]

I like my 8 1/2 year spacing between the youngest two. But like you said, it's an individual thing and there really is no RIGHT answer.

 

[johub]

My ds1 is 16 months older than my ds2/dd2 and I think that is PERFECT!!
My oldest is 10 years older than my second and I didnt like that whole only child thing.
It probably has a Lot to do with my kids temperaments but I can think of a bazillion things I like about this spacing.
I see families struggle when adding siblings with older children and I think smugly to myself "Nope, not me, I didnt have that problem. . . " (of course again it is likely more to do with temperament than spacing LOL but I still like to think it is the spacing)
If I were to do it all over again I would pick the exact same distance.
joline
eta. It probably would have been even MORE ideal if it werent for having twins though. That is one drawback of close spacing. The possibility of having three really close rather than just two.

 

[MsChatsAlot]

4 years apart is great for us.

 

[EFmom]

Mine are a bit more than 3 years apart, and it's great. They don't have much of the typical sibling rivalry, and they play together very well.

 

[MamaPam]

So far we have two little girl and they are 15 months apart. Not what we were originally planning but so far its been great. I was really worried about the oldest who is now only 17 months being very jealous especially since she's not old enough to really understand. But she LOVES her new baby sister and will not leave her alone. She is always trying to share her snack or toy with her and comes and sits with us while I nurse. It has been great.

Pam

 

[oldcrunchymom]

My kids are 27 months apart and I would have preferred slightly closer spacing, say 21-24 months. However, it's worked out fine this way and the kids get along great.

 

[JamesMama]

I only have one ds right now, but we'd like around 3 years between him and a younger sibling.

 

[insahmniak]

Here's my vote for Just One! I know it wouldn't work for everyone, but for us it's the best space of all!

 

[Peony]

We were shooting for a 3 year spacing, it's looking now like it might even be 4, and that will be perfect. My absolute mininium was 3 years.

 

[angelpie545]

I personally think that there are benefits no matter what way you do it. My kids are spaced two and a half years apart, and it's actually a good split. They are close enough in age to be friends, yet far enough away from each other to not be going through the same stages at once, which makes me less

.

I have one brother and one sister, and we are all almost exactly two years apart (I was born in Jan 82, my sis in Feb 84, and my bro in Feb 86) and we were peas in a pod. My grandma has SEVEN kids, all spaced differently..anywhere from a year and a half to twins (my mom and her twin) to over ten years. They all have different kinds of special relationships and what works for one family may be totally different than what works for another, so I really think any way you do it could turn out to be good.

 

[A&A]

4--5 years apart, hands down.

 

[Autumnschild]

I spaced my daughters the number of years apart as my sister and I because we had a close relationship growing up, and still do. I don't regret my decision. My girls are very close and loving with eachother.

Two years gave me enough time alone with my first to create a special bond with her. She went to all of my prenatal appts and was there when I was in labor. She new what was going on and what to expect when her baby sister arrived. Two years also gave my body ample time to recover from having my first baby.

 

[Drummer's Wife]

I have three children, all 2 yrs apart. It works out well for us. I wanted them to be close in age but not too close. I think it's harder when they're young but I'm hoping it gets easier as they grow

If I ever had a fourth baby I think I'd opt for a 3-4 yr age gap but that is only because I think it would be too hard on DH and I to have four young children at once.

 

[Ruthla]

I always have to giggle at polls like this, considering the fact that I had 3 "surprise" pregnancies- the first one was "planned" but it happened a lot faster than I expected, the next 2 were complete surprises. And then there are couples who plan another baby and aren't able to conceive when they want to. I vote for "leave the decision to a higher power."

 

[FreeRangeMama]

We leave the decision to ecological breastfeeding/natural child spacing. Worked perfectly for us (so far). Ds1 needed a lot more one-on-one time with Mama, and there is 2.5 years between him and ds2. It was perfect timing for a sibling because he grew, matured, and learned so much from being a big brother. He was old enough to be ready, yet not too old that he was stuck in his ways. Ds2 has been much more independant from the start. He cosleeps with us still, but has slept through the night most nights since birth. I got pregnant a lot sooner after him, I think because both boys were sleeping long enough at night for my fertility to return. There is 19 months between him and dd (and 4 years between my oldest and youngest). It has been a great spacing. Overall I liked the closer spacing better, though it wouldn't have worked to have #1 and 2 that close. Ds2 and dd are so close already. Ds2 was young enough that sibling issues haven't been a problem yet. His overall personality is pretty easygoing (though highly energetic) so that helps. Ds1 gets along great with dd too. He is old enough to be really helpful with her and he loves to "play" with her.

I figure leaving it up to mother nature works best of all

 

[USAmma]

For their bonding: 2 years or less
For our convenience and ease: 4 years or more

I spaced them 3 years apart on purpose because I thought that was ideal. No one told me how hard 3's were until I was about to have a new baby!

 

[Dal]

I have no idea. We're trying to make this decision now. I'm doing ecological breastfeeding too, but my fertility returned at 6 months (it was intermittent at first -- came when I was spending a lot of time with my sister, and in cahoots with her cycle -- but I've been regular for several months now). Simon is 19 months now. He's still an avid nurser. The thought of him trying to nurse and not being able to get any milk, or finding a tiny amount of not-so-tasty milk breaks my heart. He's also a very picky eater and I'm sure that the breastmilk is still sooo important to him, nutritionally speaking. He's been slow to develop an interest in solids and I don't want that forced on him because I'm no longer able to help him meet his needs. There are practical reasons we'd like to try to have #2 sooner (might be moving from Canada to the U.S. soonish and it might make sense to have the baby here to avoid the healthcare issue in the states and having an American baby [technically speaking]-- not that there is anything wrong with that

, but we're Canadian).

The more I hear about difficulties with 3 year olds, the more I think of putting things off. But then we'd be starting fresh with all of the toddler stuff again, which is fun, but also very taxing. It seems like it might be nice to have our children closer in age so that they'll be closer in their interests and abilities.

Who knows what will happen. We've been changing our minds every other day. I guess that all it will take is for us to be pro-baby-asap on a particularly frisky day that happens to be close to ovulation.

 

[sunnmama]

I am pg now, and my children will be 5 years apart. I can't imagine being pg with a younger child in the home (although I know that mamas do it all the time! you rock!), so 4+ years (actually, 5+) is the best way for us

If dd had not been such a high needs infant/toddler, I might have a completely different perspective, of course.....

 

[SneakyPie]

We're definitely spacing our 2 out 4-5 years. First is 11 months old now & I know I won't be able to handle a 2nd sooner than that. Our second will most likely also be adopted (infant adoption), so we will have a bit of a say in the spacing. I know several families with their children spaced this far apart & although as a pp said temperament has a lot to do with it, I've seen this spacing work so well and it seems to fit how husband & I could "survive" most easily (thus being the best parents we can be).