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I think everyone deals with this, even the most mainstream parents. Grandparents think they know best and want to tell you what to do. I try to look on the positive side of it: my mother, MIL and grandmother are remembering every minute of their children's childhoods in a rosy, nostalgic light.

I mostly have not been too effective in dealing with this with my mother. She is relentless. No matter how similarly we do things she can't butt out and just trust that we are doing it right. My mom bf'ed me and used cloth diapers and was pretty progressive, but she still thinks I'm bf-ing too long, etc. etc.

A few times I have asked her whether she wants me to raise her grandchild according to the most up-to-date medical thinking, or whether she wants me to use 35 year old information. This argument worked really well when I was pregnant, and on the issue of when to introduce solid foods, especially dairy products. My mom believes in published advice, especially if it's documented. I cited the World Health Organization (WHO) the American Academy of Pediatrics 1997 breastfeeding recommendations and some stuff I found on infant feeding at the NIH website.

Okay, but what do you do if your family doesn't typically credit what they read, but only what they perceive as time-tested family experience? Here's where you have to tell them the truth: this is your baby, you are the mom, and your opinion counts. They don't even have a vote.

If you want to be nice and keep your relationship positive, you could ask your mom or sister about what advice they got from family members when their children were small. I can almost guarantee that other family members pulled the same crap on them that they are pulling on you! Especially your sister, I bet your mom was all over her to do this and that thing that her doctor told her not to do. You may be able to bond with them on what it's like to try to negotiate family relationships around this. I hope.
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