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I have a three year old son whose birth was...traumatic. I wanted a natural birth with him, but my midwife decided to induce me at 41.5 weeks because his amniotic fluid was very low. (How many weeks I was exactly I don't know because my pregnancy was dated via u/s at approx. 11 weeks.) I was induced with cytotec (took two rounds), started contracting at 12:30 a.m. and after six hours of transition-like contractions (piggybacked with a posterior baby), during which time I was ill from both ends and had to fend of a nurses trying to keep me strapped to the fetal monitor, I finally begged for the epidrual. The epidural provided much relief and allowed me to rest, but it also caused, or so I supsect, my son's heartrate to plummet over and over again and also introduced a whole host of "accoutrements," including an internal fetal monitor, a catheder (spelling?), etc. Six hours after the epidural was administered, I felt the urge to push. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours before my midwife called in the attending physician who gave me an episiotomy (and I ended up tearing to my anus anyhow) and vacuumed my 8.3 lb son out.<br><br>
Needless to say, it wasn't the birth I had hoped for and I still deal with many horrible feelings of sorrow and anxiety about it.<br><br>
I'm now 22 weeks pregnant with our second child and have moved across the state. My new midwife delivers at a both a hospital (with NICU) and a freestanding birth center. My pregnancy to date has been great and she feels, despite my first birth experience, that I'm a fine candidate for the <a href="http://www.columbiabirthcenter.com" target="_blank">birth center</a>. Yay!<br><br>
I quizzed her a bit about the hospital and she said that it is pretty conservative and the nurses will probably try to offer me an epi every 30 minutes. What makes this worse is that I cannot find a doula in my area (none listed at DONA and my midwife knows of none). Anyhow, I'm not excited about going to a hospital and would rather deliver at the birth center.<br><br>
My fears regarding the b/c are that <b>a)</b> what if something goes wrong or is wrong with the baby (do I want to deal with a transfer?) and <b>b)</b> am I going to be able to overcome the lack of faith I have in my body over the next four months? After my last birth experience, I have little faith in my ability to cope with the pain of labor/delivery (the b/c offers no pain relief whatsoever) and my body's ability to push a baby out.<br><br>
Has anyone else had a horrible hospital experience and then overcame similar fears to successfully deliver in a home or b/c setting?
 

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I haven't had a bad hospital experience only because I chose a homebirth. If my birth had been in a hospital setting it would have been very similar to yours. I had an irregular labor and a very long pushing stage (at least 5-6 hours...) Instead I had a wonderful peaceful homebirth. So I vote for the birthing center or a homebirth. Avoid the hospital unless you want a replay of last time.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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Go with the birth center.<br><br>
It should prove to be a wonderful step to healing the trauma caused by your last birth.<br><br>
your midwife sounds responsive., talk to her about all of your fears even if you think she might find them silly.<br><br>
She might also be able to hook you up with a low cost or free doula.
 

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yes, you will overcome the lack of trust in your body. You have to. It helped me to read lots and lots of unmedicated birth stories. It also, in an odd way, helped me to read lots of stories of women induced, in particular with cytotec (since, I now believe that is what led to all the problems in the birth of my first DD, eventually ending up with cesarean). What happened was not your fault. It was not a result of any inherent flaw in your body. it was because of the things done to you in the hospital. If you can avoid those interventions this time, there is no reason to expect this birth to be anything remotely like what happened the last time. If you want to start with some birth stories, here are mine:<br><a href="http://members.tripod.com/stafl-ivil/id12.html" target="_blank">my terribly traumatic cesarean</a><br><a href="http://members.tripod.com/stafl-ivil/id16.html" target="_blank">my all-natural vbac</a>
 

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I would really reccomend you look in to the birth center. Your midwife, delivering at both, knows the pros and cons. If she says you are a good candidate, I would trust that. One thing to remember is the birth environment. You walked into your first birth to face a situation where your body was coaxed into having a baby -- maybe not really ready. If you are allowed to progress on your own things will be so much different. My first was a pit induction -- my second came when he was ready, 40 weeks, 6 days. His birth was amazing.<br><br>
About doulas -- if you contact DONA here: <a href="http://www.dona.org/FindingANonCertifiedDoula.html" target="_blank">http://www.dona.org/FindingANonCertifiedDoula.html</a><br>
They can email you a list of doulas who may be certifying and not listed on the site yet.<br><br>
Best Wishes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Birth Center all the way. I've had two very wonderful, but very different births. The first was in a hospital birth center, the second was at home. We arrived at the hospital an hour before dd was born and left 16 hours later. Nothing they did for us we could not have done at home, although I liked my midwife very much.<br><br>
All the minor things I didn't like about my first daughter's birth were non issues at the homebirth. I knew everyone there. I knew who was coming to help. I didn't have to go anywhere. No one whisked dd off to a nursery, and older dd got to experience the birth of her baby sister in a safe comfortable environment. (her own house!)<br><br>
Avoid the hospital if you can. The fewer interventions, the safer for everyone, and you will be able to heal from the trauma of the first birth.
 

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I suggest going to wherever feels more like HOME to you. When a women is having a baby it doesn't have to be all technical and strict, unless complications occur. A b/c would be more like home and the midwives are just there to help you through the experience not as regular hospital nurses who are there to help the baby arrive and for you to be comfy. I like the idea of b/c's although I had both my babies at hospitals. My experience with both were marvelous but I wish I would've checked more into a b/c. Giving birth is NORMAL and doesn't have to be a procedure of technology.
 

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I would chose the birth center. Go on a tour and talk to some midwives, I bet you will feel much beter after that. Your birth will be less painful and scary at the birth center than the hospital and the likelyhood that you will need to transfer is so small. You can always chose the hospital in the end, but give the birth center a chance, I think you will be so happy you did! I think the hospital will only reinforce the lack of trust you feel in your body, they lack trust in birth so of course they are going to pass that on to you. The midwives will be much more confident and be able to help you build up your confidence. Go on a tour, give it a chance! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Yet another vote for birth center!!!!!!! I have given birth (each time with midwives) in a hospital, freestanding birth center, and at home. They were all positive experiences but the birth center and home were much, much better - more comfortable, more respectful, just all around a nicer experience.<br><br>
It is not your body's inability to handle labor - you did not experience "normal" labor. This time, it can all be very different. I was so beyond thrilled for a friend who had a VBAC that really healed her feelings of hurt/disappointment over her c-section. It can and will be a wonderful experience for you this time!
 

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In reading over your story it seems that it was the cytotec -and 2 doses no less-- that started your problems... having not been there I do not know if your baby truly had low fluid or not, it sounds more like nearing the arrival of 42 weeks induction. Once the baby was stressed by very abnormal contractions then getting a med that reduces variability yes these were created problems at what point did they rupture membranes? an OP baby is going to take extra effort to birth and more patience as well, epidurals increase the likelihood of a persistent posterior.<br>
In any case stay away from that environment please-- as far as transfer this is really no big deal- most women who birth in the hospital start labor at home and --transfer to the hospital, so if you birth in a birth center you are going to --transfer there from home and in the event of need to transfer you will probably be moved via ambulance .<br>
I had two yucky hospital birth without meds and 2 home births, once I learned more my home births were so much better I would not easily go to hospital again-- even when we have had other reasons to be in hospital it is such an institution much with out reason like bathing and hair washing at 2AM, the McDonalds of health care-- you know everyone has a script of what they are suppose to get done -- but no special orders please.
 

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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fexec%2Fobidos%2Ftg%2Fdetail%2F-%2F0399525173%2F103-8229378-5011007%3Fv%3Dglance" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...11007?v=glance</a><br><br><i>The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth</i><br><br>
this book is a must read for anyone struggling with this descision.
 

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I have had a birth in a birth center, and one in a hospital. I'm sure you can guess my preference (birth center all the way). Just wanted to add that statistically, birth centers are safer than hospitals. You are more likely to be satisfied with your care as well. Here's a link to the national birth center study: <a href="http://www.maternitycenter.com/articles/bcstudy1.htm" target="_blank">http://www.maternitycenter.com/articles/bcstudy1.htm</a>
 

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I am so bummed; there are NO birth centers in Illinois! I've researched it, and they've been trying to get some centers here since 1987!!! How pathetic. We need to get with the program!
 

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I'd vote birth center, too.<br><br>
Most, if not all, of those scary things would be totally avoided in the first place.<br><br>
We are mammals. The first unnatural intervention that takes place in a hospital is psychological. Bright lights, lots of people, lots of strangers, foreign equipment, a vibe of fear and uncertainty... all of those things tell our primal brain that it is not a safe place to give birth. Many complications begin right there... not at the drugs or the first time you're forced to stay still for fetal monitoring.<br><br>
When I was a doula, I used this scenario: close your eyes and envision the following:<br><br>
A.) You enter a busy, brightly lit public place in the middle of your labor. People are scurrying around you, asking you questions, shoving papers in your face... they take you into a sterile, brightly lit room, where you lie uncomfortably, waiting for an "admittance" exam... someone you don't know enters and feels around your vagina, you're forced to lie there for monitoring... you're "admitted" and more unknown people and faces come and go, hooking you up to an iv., hooking you up to a monitor, making gibberish small talk as you're trying to focus on getting through your contractions peacefully, but you cannot go "inward" because there is just too much going on.<br><br>
B.) You enter a darkened bedroom. Soft music is playing. The midwife and her assistant are speaking in quiet, respectful voices. They gently stroke your hair, offer you a light snack and sips of juice and water, tell you what a great job you are doing. They listen to the baby with a handheld device through a contraction. They offer to check your progress but you just don't want to, and that's fine. They sit with you, murmuring in your ear, rubbing your back as you stand, pace the floor, kneel down, and rock rhythmically with each contraction. There is a vibe of comfort, peace and safety.<br><br>
I mean, really, which scenario is more likely to cause complications in mother and/or child?
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>candiland</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd vote birth center, too.<br><br>
Most, if not all, of those scary things would be totally avoided in the first place.<br><br>
We are mammals. The first unnatural intervention that takes place in a hospital is psychological. Bright lights, lots of people, lots of strangers, foreign equipment, a vibe of fear and uncertainty... all of those things tell our primal brain that it is not a safe place to give birth. Many complications begin right there... not at the drugs or the first time you're forced to stay still for fetal monitoring.<br><br>
When I was a doula, I used this scenario: close your eyes and envision the following:<br><br>
A.) You enter a busy, brightly lit public place in the middle of your labor. People are scurrying around you, asking you questions, shoving papers in your face... they take you into a sterile, brightly lit room, where you lie uncomfortably, waiting for an "admittance" exam... someone you don't know enters and feels around your vagina, you're forced to lie there for monitoring... you're "admitted" and more unknown people and faces come and go, hooking you up to an iv., hooking you up to a monitor, making gibberish small talk as you're trying to focus on getting through your contractions peacefully, but you cannot go "inward" because there is just too much going on.<br><br>
B.) You enter a darkened bedroom. Soft music is playing. The midwife and her assistant are speaking in quiet, respectful voices. They gently stroke your hair, offer you a light snack and sips of juice and water, tell you what a great job you are doing. They listen to the baby with a handheld device through a contraction. They offer to check your progress but you just don't want to, and that's fine. They sit with you, murmuring in your ear, rubbing your back as you stand, pace the floor, kneel down, and rock rhythmically with each contraction. There is a vibe of comfort, peace and safety.<br><br>
I mean, really, which scenario is more likely to cause complications in mother and/or child?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
What a great way to put it!
 

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I would lean toward the birth center, but the best way to decide is to tour both facilities. The things that the staff person conducting the tour says will help you to understand what birth is like in each place. Also, you will see the set up of the rooms--do they have bathtubs and showers, do they have a stereo, a birthing ball, squat bar, a homey feel? Is there a table to examine the baby right there in the room, or is every baby going to go down the hall? When you pass the nursery on the floor, is it full or nearly empty because everyone rooms in? Etc. etc.<br><br>
I don't think you need to choose the hospital because of possible complications, because you have no reason to think you are going to have complications. (Speaking as someone else who had complications on a first birth!) We know that every birth is different and that second births are usually easier than first births. So don't let "just in case" be a reason to choose the hospital.
 

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I just want to add in a little warning. Not all birthcenters are really much different than hospitals. When you tour the place, do they show you just one room? I know at the hospital DD1 was born, they had a fancy showy labor and delivery room that was about three times larger than any others, that had the one and only hot tub there, and that they never used except when there was a tour coming through.
 

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I just looked at your clickable link to the birth center you are talking about---I use to live in the tri-cities--- Kennewick on E 5th---- not too far from where the birth center is but long before it was there-- our first homebirth was there and an excellent homebirth midwife still lives in the area( Pam Mitchell) if you want a home birth instead-- In any case our first baby was born in the hospital and I would never recommend going there unless it was an emergency--<br><br>
take care
 
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