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Discussion Starter #1
I found out last week that my husband will be deployed in October and won't be back until the baby is 4 months old.<br><br>
How much does that suck? So I get to experience my first birth without him. And figure out how to be a mom to three kids (again), but this time with the birth part of it.<br><br>
Dang Air Force.<br><br>
I'm still planning my homebirth. I'll talk to my midwife in a couple of weeks and I believe that a doula is included in the cost. So that's cool. And I'm talking my mom into coming for the birth and hanging out for a week or two afterwards. Hopefully.<br><br>
I was really hoping to use some of the techniques in Spiritual Midwifery that kind of only work with a husband around. Grrr.<br><br>
Anyone else birthed without a husband?
 

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I am so sorry that your husband is going to be deployed.<br><br>
My husband was deployed when our first son was born. He came home when our oldest was 5 months old. It was really stressful. Things did not go as planned at all (I lived in a state where midwives were against the law). My mom was with me and a friend but I could not handle my mom being in the same room while I labored. Do not get me wrong, my mom is awesome and she was great during my birth but I could see how concerned she was for me which totally freaked me out so mom waited outside the door. Anyway I agreed to a lot of things that I would never had if my husband had been there like a c-section under general anesthesia (maybe I did not agree I do not remember giving consent). Okay this was not to scare you. My point is make sure your midwife and doula know exactly what you want and expect before you go into labor.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Heidi,<br><br>
That's exactly why I'm glad I'm having a home birth! I know that no doctor or nurse would actually listen to me and I'd be on my own. So I'm very thankful that I've found a good midwife. I'll be talking with her more in depth this visit and my mom is going to be at the visit too. So I think between the two of us, we'll get a good understanding of my wishes across.<br><br>
I'm sorry things went that way for you though. Best wishes for next time.
 

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That sooooo sucks! DH is in the Coast Guard, so I know how deployments go; but luckily, he will (God willing) be here for the birth. I am glad you have found a good midwife! If the doula doesn't come with the fee, of if you just don't click with here, I am pretty sure that CAPPA's standard policy is to provide free doula services for any woman whose husband is deployed with the military at the time of the birth. You may want to double check that, though, if you decide to go that route.
 

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DDCC<br><br>
If the doula is not included, here is a website to find volunteer doulas:<br><a href="http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/index.htm" target="_blank">http://www.operationspecialdelivery.com/index.htm</a><br><br>
So sorry he will be gone.... is there any way he can take his R&R late so he can be there?
 

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Suck!<br><br>
I've had a few doula clients whose husbands were deployed. It can be difficult, emotionally -- those postpartum hormones can hit hard. I would definitely have at least one doula, if not two!
 

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I know you said your mom would be there, but maybe you could get a postpartum doula, too. Or maybe a housekeeper to come in once a week for that first month...
 
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