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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm sure this has been addressed before but... here's the thing...<br>
Dd is turning 4yo in a few weeks and I'm going to have a small party for her. I want her to have a great birthday but I honestly don't want the guests to bring gifts. We have plenty of toys and I just don't want any more stuff. YKWIM? A few years ago we went to a party and the invite requested in lieu of gifts a donation be made to a specified charity. I thought it was a great idea at the time, however, I feel really weird about asking people to make a donation to a foundation of my choosing. Any thoughts on this? Should I just state on invite "no gifts please" or in lieu of gifts please consider donating to XYZ or charity of your choice. OR do I just let people bring gifts and then I give them away? Hm-mm...any thoughts or advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance!
 

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IME alot of parents ask what type of things the kids like so you could include a list of general things he likes, books, craft stuff, outdoor toys, etc. That way you may not get toys but get other things.
 

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I would not let people bring gifts and then give them away. It seems like this would be really traumatic for your daughter. I like the PP's idea of including a note about the things your DD likes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both. Just for the record, I wouldn't traumatize my child by letting her open gifts then taking them away...that's not what I meant. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Thank you both. Just for the record, I wouldn't traumatize my child by letting her open gifts then taking them away...that's not what I meant. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.</div>
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Oh, I wasn't thinking you'd let her open them. I think even if she saw them at the party, she'd think they were hers to keep.
 

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Well, in magazines and such I've seen pound parties. They made like puppy ear headbands or decorated collars and played doggish style games. Instead of gifts guests were asked to bring dog food or blankets or things that the humane society would use. I don't know how well that type of party would work in real life, but it seems like a neat idea =)
 

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My dd had a party (and has been to a party) that the gifts were all for animals at the shelter (food, blankets, or checks, basically). Another girl at dd's school had a party where everyone brought $ to donate to the orphanage in China where she was living for her first 10 mos of life. I think you CAN do it, but you may feel more assured if you called each parent/family and explained what you wanted to do. And have a good plan, so that it's easy for them to follow it. I found it very easy to come up w/a check and a fun card for that little girl, and a big bag of catfood and a blanket for the shelter party (which had nothing otherwise to do w/the shelter, they did a Ratatouille party making snacks and such).<br><br>
Good luck! And have FUN! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I"m presonally not a fan of parties where I am told which charity I should donate to or what I should bring. I think it's okay to have a specific theme like a book party (where the guests exchange books) or maybe an animal adoption party. With an older child who had the idea himself I don't mind so much, but most four year olds haven't thought up on their own oh let's donate money to X cause so it's the parents' idea even if the child does agree. Either accept the gifts graciously, or just state no gifts please.
 

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I was going to specify "no gifts please" for DD's 3rd birthday and <i>my</i> best friend was really sad about it because she loves giving gifts.<br><br>
Now, I usually say "gifts not necessary" which kind of says no thanks, but ok, if you really want to do one. I still get frustrated with getting too many things. DD has pretty much anything she wants, though now that she's almost 5 she's starting to want more things that her friends have.<br><br>
Most of the time, people always ask me what DD wants anyway though. Usually I tell them books and let them know what she's into. If you were thinking about asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts, what about a contribution to your child's education fund?<br><br>
Just some thoughts...and my own DD's b-day is coming up soon, so this kind of stuff has been on my mind.<br><br>
Happy birthday to your DD!
 

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I just include, "PLEASE no presents, just your presence" on the invites.<br><br>
I have to say, I absolutely love the pound party idea. I've never heard of that before; I'd love to do it!
 

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<span>Wow, I love the shelter idea! I hate the fact that my child gets so much, I love that extended family thinks of her, but she's starting to think love equals buying gifts! :-S I will be using the Humane Society Idea for her next birthday for sure!</span>
 
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