[fiddledebi]

I feel so silly!

DH and I went to meet with our doula last night and totally loved her. She seems really compassionate and listened really hard, had great ideas, and took a tremendous amount of time with us. I am impressed with her and feel great about hiring her.

HOWEVER...I now feel a million times less confident about birth, because of that ice water exercise from BFW. She had us try it -- for those of you who don't know what it is, you plunge your bare hands into a big bowl of ice water and have to keep them there for 1 minute, the length of a long contraction. We did this twice -- once, both DH and I had our hands in and she just watched; the second time, I did it myself and DH timed it for me while she stood behind me and tried some comforting touch.

Both times, I was near tears by about 30 seconds. I HATED the sensation, felt trapped, couldn't stop saying "I don't like this. I don't want to do this. This really hurts." I felt like such a WUSS.

Now, keep in mind that I have actually had a baby before! I did have an epidural, but not until I had been in labor for 20 hours, so I KNOW that contractions hurt (I got the epi when problems with the baby forced me into bed on my side, and I wasn't able to move at all -- that was the end of my ability to cope). Now I'm worried that my pain tolerance has somehow lessened. I couldn't handle ICE WATER? What is WRONG with me?

Has anyone else done this exercise as a preparation for labor? Had a similar (or different) experience? Help!

 

[Eman'smom]

IT'S NOT YOU THAT TEST IS STUPID

Deep cleansing breaths, ok, one of the childbirth classes I took with dd (our second) they had us hold the ice cube. Holding an ice cube is nothing like a contraction (as you know). I also don't think "comfort measures" work for something like that. I mean you hand is burning cold what can you do. However when you are having nasty back labor (Like me) you can walk rub move moan ect. There are ways to cope and deal with it. Don't let a stupid ice cube affect how you think you will cope with labor, our bodies are built to birth babies, not hold ice. :LOL

FWIW I had a natural intervention free hospital birth with dd without any drugs of any kind and did great, sure it hurts but I coped very well (if I do say so myself

). Your body knows what to do let it.

 

[Guest*]

:LOL

Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but I was remembering when I did the ice exercises in my childbirth class. GIVE ME LABOR ANY DAY!

The ice was much harder to deal with than contractions. Plus, the ice doesn't feel anything like contractions. I did find these exercises useful, though. I discovered that holding onto ice cubes HURTS and serves NO purpose!

Don't worry. Not handling the ice well is no indicator of how well you deal with labor!

 

[Kirsten]

In our Bradley classes, they used a different technique to practice relaxing during contractions. Someone would squeeze our arm for a minute to simulate a contraction. This (to me) is much closer to a contraction as it is the tightening sensation. I haven't done the ice water thing but I wouldn't let it worry me at all. You went through 20 hours of contractions - you know what they are like.
I would talk to your (possible) doula and tell her how you are feeling. She may rethink using the ice water in the future, helping other preggies from going through what you are now.
Don't let it worry you for a minute! I don't think it is about trying to ignore a sensation; it is about relaxing and going with your body, helping instead of fighting the contraction. I really love Bradley classes!

 

[Aura_Kitten]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eman'smom IT'S NOT YOU THAT TEST IS STUPID Deep cleansing breaths, ok, one of the childbirth classes I took with dd (our second) they had us hold the ice cube. Holding an ice cube is nothing like a contraction (as you know). I also don't think "comfort measures" work for something like that. I mean you hand is burning cold what can you do. However when you are having nasty back labor (Like me) you can walk rub move moan ect. There are ways to cope and deal with it. Don't let a stupid ice cube affect how you think you will cope with labor, our bodies are built to birth babies, not hold ice. :LOL FWIW I had a natural intervention free hospital birth with dd without any drugs of any kind and did great, sure it hurts but I coped very well (if I do say so myself ). Your body knows what to do let it.

:

and... fwiw, i'm normally a wimp about pain, and my daughter was freeborn.

you'll be fine.

 

[AngelBee]

That test does not determine your ability to birth.

 

[onlyboys]

I agree with the previous posters. The ice water thing is not to determine whether or not you can tolerate labor, but rather, it helps you to see what helps during contractions (or generalized pain) to take your mind from the immediate.

My husband and I did it with our 2nd, and it was helpful. Rocking didn't help, reading to me did, making me laugh was the best. We learned about how I act during pain, and that helped him, who had never seen me in any pain at all.

Take the test at the surface--see what works to make the pain better.

 

[ramlita]

I second Talking with your doula about how that exercise affected you- that is valuable feedback that will be useful to her and her future clients.

ITA, stimuli like icewater are NOT useful tools for labor preparation!
Contractions have a beginning, middle, and end (well, often, they do...) and the way you move your body around can significantly affect how you experience them.

And, most of all, labor pain happens because you are doing the most important physical work of your life!
Torturing yourself may have lessons to teach, but a part of you will always know that it's torture, not useful work that brings your baby out!!!!!!

Hope you can put your mind at ease about this.

 

[shelbean91]

I did the ice thing during a childbirth class and it's complete crap!! It feels like pins and needles or knives driving into your skin. Birthing is nothing like that. My first 2 births were drug free and I thought it was like working out really, really hard. Like, you run on a treadmill until you're about to fall over, then you get a 2nd wind and finish strong and when it's over think it wasn't that bad and you're so proud for doing it. It's hard work (that's why it's called labor) but it's not impossible and it's NOT like sticking your hand in ice water.

Good luck getting the birth you want.

 

[TCMoulton]

What a stupid test!

The only thing that that test can determine is your ability to be an ice fisherman! (Not sure why you would want to combine those two activities - ice fishing and childbirth anyways!)

At least you MW now knows that you aren't afraid to let her know when you are uncomfortable!

Good luck Mama!

 

[MamaTaraX]

The CBE class at the hospital I work for is taught by my boss, who's a fantastic doula. I took this class when pregnant with #1 and observed it a few months ago for reference. She does something similar to this with an ice cube. She has the parents-to-be put an ice cube in their hand. For one minute she has you stare at the ice cube in your hand. Then you put the ice cube down and rest a couple minutes while talking about what it was like to look at the ice cube and to completely focus on the pain and how uncomfortable it was. Then she has you pick the ice cube up again in the other hand for one minute. During this minute she speaks in a soothing voice, turns on some quiet music,and encourages relaxation. After this minute is over she asks the class their perception of each minute. Without fail everyone is much happier with the second minute. They point out how it doesn't seem to last as long, how the comfort andrelaxation worked. You still feel the pain of the ice cube in your hand, but you deal with it through relaxation. The point of the test, at least hers (I haven't read Birthing From Within yet) is to show you that you can do anything for a minute and that with some encouragement and relaxation, the minute is managable even at tough times. I, personally, thought that was a wonderful excercise. She wasn't trying to say an ice cube is like a contraction, not at all, in fact, she startsout saying that. Whenever I teach *insert optimism* I think I'll use it myself. I think it's good to show people that they can deal with something fro mminute to minute like that. Oh, one more thing, the point of the first minute she has the class do is to show how different it is to sit there and focus on the pain versus focusing elsewhere/relaxing, etc.
Namaste, Tara

 

[ramlita]

That sounds more reasonable!
Thanks for sharing that.

(Maybe it could be part of the feedback for the doula in the OP?)

 

[Noelia430]

That ice thing is crap. And from what I've heard about it is that you are supposed to HOLD a piece if ice in your hand and visualize that you are becoming so relaxed that you are melting like a piece of ice. Or something like that.

You shoudn't feel any less confident in your ability to have a baby. Your body was made to do so because it is normal and natural. Putting your hands in a bowl of ice water and holding them there for a minute isn't.

 

[fiddledebi]

Thank you, everyone.

I've been thinking and thinking about this...I was just so surprised by my very strong, emotional reaction to the experiment. Our doula was very supportive and tender with me, and was careful to say immediately that this was NOT like a contraction, that contractions start slowly and build to a peak and then ebb slowly down, unlike plunging hands into ice water and feeling constant discomfort almost immediately. She rubbed my hands warmly after each "round." Truly, she was very compassionate.

I understand that she was trying to get an idea for what would make me feel better, and she did learn a few things -- like, I do not like to be confined to any particular space, I don't like squeezy-type massage, and I tend to avert my eyes when I'm in pain. I think it was probably valuable overall -- I just really really hated it, and left the experience feeling UNempowered.

I'll talk to her about it and let her know how unhappy it made me, and maybe she can think of some other way to get the benefits we did out of it, for future reference. I know that for me, this had a lot to do with powerlessness, and with not being able to move, and that was the worst part of my first labor -- getting trapped in the bed. I just have to be able to walk around, touch things with my hands, move my body freely, etc. I think that lesson is now WELL established!

Again, thank you for being so supportive, all of you!

 

[2+twins]

I personally like the ice cube exercise - I use it in my cb classes. But part of the purpose of it (if I recall correctly from BFW) is to find out how exactly *you* deal with this very uncomfortable sensation. The book says that the first time you try it you should allow yourself to whine about, do whatever you like to deal with it, etc. just so long as you don't drop the ice cube (this is for holding one cube in your hand vs. a bucket of water). It's supposed to give you or your birth partner a look into how you respond to pain or discomfort so they'll know better how to support you. Personally an idea I like for simulating contrax is to get those small blue gel freezer packs, have one frozen to use for practice contrax, wrap it in a thin cloth, then have the partner/someone place it on you while they time the contrax (like on your lower back where you'd feel back labor, behind your neck, wrists, etc.). The benefit of the cloth is that it keeps the pack from being instantly uncomfortable and allows the sensation to build the way a contrax would. I like giving students something real to practice relaxing against. My students haven't squeezed the arm very hard (I teach Bradley) so I don't find it to be a very useful exercise (it's no challenge to relax against what they do).