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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 22 month old is driving me nuts! I don't know what to do. He has 2 older brothers, but only seems to bite and pinch the 4.5 year old, only very occasionally the 6.5 yr old, me or dh. He also bit the 2.5 year old and 3 year old that come to visit at different times.<br><br>
I'm not talking about once a day or even 3 times a day. I'm talking about 6,7,8 times a day, those are the bites that I don't get to before they happen, so add about 4-5 attempted bitings and pinches that I disrupt. He seems to enjoy torturing our 4.5 year old. our 4.5 yr old is very independent, and often enjoys playing by himself, and this seems to enrage our 22 month old. I have talked to him about it, and he always says sorry and hugs the victim, but if he wants something a few minutes later that ds2 is playing with (which is anything ds2 picks up) he bites him. ds2 has just had it, and has started to retaliate by hitting ds3 <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> . ds 3 knows better, but when you have someone hanging off you with their teeth, I can see his reaction. I feel so sorry for ds2 and am desperate to stop Fang (aka ds3) from this behavior. Help!!
 

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I don't have any advice for you. This thread came up while I was doing a search for biting. I am having issues with my 3 yo ds and my 19 mo dd so I'm just subscribing. I hope you get some good responses!<br><br>
I feel your frustration.
 

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Can I join in? I need advice here too...18mo dd is biting/hitting/hair pulling 4yo dd all the time, and chases her when 4yo tries to leave! Sometimes I end up getting frustrated w/ 4yo, who just stays there and gets herself hit again and again saying to me, "Mom, she's hitting me. Mom, she pulled my hair, mom, mom, mom..." Then I remember how she gets chased if she tries to leave <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">: rough times!<br><br>
18mo dd is very unverbal, if that matters!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I need advice here too...18mo dd is biting/hitting/hair pulling</td>
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thats my 18 month old too, mostly her brother who is 14 months older then her, but she does pull her big sisters hair when she is mad. She gets very frusterated and that is where its coming from. I try to help her with whatever it she needs help with (opening something, stacking it correctly, moving her to the side to have her own space, etc) and letting her gently know that it isn't effective communication, in lesser words. Its what I also do with my 4 year old when she decided throwing fits was the best way to get her way... doesn't work, and we are working on effective communication.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I know, it's awful. I actually get annoyed with my 4 year old sometimes, because I want him to just walk away or do something about it so I don't have to hear about it constantly.<br><br>
We actually seem to be making some progress in the last few days. When ever he does it, I take whatever he was playing with away and tell him no, you don't bite or hit or pinch (whichever one he has done). I have also taught my 4 year old that if he sees the attach coming to turn and face fang and say firmly, "no, Thomas, No biteis."<br><br>
I am currently hoping this will pass before Thanksgiving, because my niece, the wonder baby, who is 3 months younger than my son is coming. She counts to ten, knows her colors and speaks clear as a bell, she doesn't seem to put one foot out of line, and goes to bed at 6:30 and sleeps all night alone in her crib! . Although Thomas speaks, it isn't very clear, and lots of times he just growls and bites!! Oh I can't wait! :LOL
 

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We're having the same problems.<br><br>
I think this calls for a two-prong approach. First, teach the older child to say "No" and walk away (to you, if need be). In preschool they are teaching all of the children to say "STOP!" with a hand up (a la police traffic direction) to another child who is trying to hurt them. I've had my 6 YO do the same when his little sister is coming at him with teeth or whatever. This does a couple of things. First, I can hear it across the house and go intervene if necessary. It teaches the older child that they aren't powerless, but there are better responses than violence (always a good lesson), and it keeps the message out to the younger child that whatever isn't acceptable.<br><br>
If your older child is comfortable playing alone, than I would also say that precious toys or things that really tempt the little one could be best enjoyed in the older kids room with little brother kept out.<br><br>
I've also found that I need to be more more hands-on in supervising their time together and I stop a lot of games before they can escalate, which they always do. When DD does start getting really wild and bites/hits/kicks, I have her stay really close to me for a while until things are calm again. This, of course, frustrates the devil out of me because I was, naturally, just enjoying the first 5 minutes she wasn't stuck like clue to my arm all day. Where do they get their sense of timing?<br><br>
The preschool teacher did say that biting generally goes away by the 3rd birthday. Boy oh boy do I hope she's right!!!
 
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