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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ex just brought me a bottle of wine when he came to pick up the kids. apparently it's our 6th anniversary. i think it says something about how over him i am that i didn't even notice the significance of today's date. but what the h??!!?!? why the wine? how do i respond?

since i left (~3 mos ago) his life has changed a lot. he's started therapy (about bloody time, imo) but his house is a complete disaster and he's eaten nothing but tv dinners. he's been drinking heavily. his money is a mess.

my life has changed, too. my new home is clean, airy and comfortable. it's so nice living without his clutter and mess. i look a lot better than i did; my hair looks fab, i've lost weight and i have some excellent new clothes. i know he's noticed both the house and my appearance. i'm flirting with a guy, going to school, generally really happy with my life. in no way, shape or form do i miss my life with him.

so how do i respond? do i assume that he wants me back? if so, how do i nip it in the bud without destroying our coparenting relationship?
 

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Are you for real? Whoa.

What I would do:

Drink the whole bottle of wine while he has the kids.
And say thanks?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by muse View Post
i think i'd just enjoy the wine, be appreciative that he remembered and let it go.
:
 

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Hmm...I am imagining how I would feel...that would be awkward. Maybe he is just being sweet. I can imagine saying something like, "Thank you, that is very thoughtful." And leaving it at that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
sweet and thoughtful are not his style. he doesn't do kind gestures just for the heck of it. at least, he didn't 3 months ago. so i am deeply suspicious and trying not to get too worked up about the potential future drama. i dislike drama.

but i am definitely enjoying the wine!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by josybear View Post
was being the operative word. *burp*


The more I think about the whole situation, the more I think a whole nonchalant "Thank you" and leaving it at that would probably work best. He's probably anticipating you making some kind of deal about it, whether positive or negative, and being low key will probably throw him off guard, for one, and two will show him he doesn't really have the power to rile you any more.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by josybear View Post
ex just brought me a bottle of wine when he came to pick up the kids. apparently it's our 6th anniversary. i think it says something about how over him i am that i didn't even notice the significance of today's date.
Isn't it wonderful that you forgot? I recently had several days at a time where I forgot my ex and it felt so lovely and empowering.
:
 

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I have to be extremely blunt with my X. I'm guessing you may need to as well.

I would say,

"Thanks for the wine. I want to be extremely clear that we are not going to reunite. If that was the intention of this wine, please take it back. If not, I'll enjoy it myself."
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
in case anyone wanted an update, i found out what was really going on.

when he dropped the kids off yesterday i thanked him again for the wine. he blurted out 'who'd you drink it with? you drank it alone, right????'


so he was sneakily finding out if i'm dating, i guess. go, ex!
 
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