[StephandOwen]

And that's putting it nicely

Background.... when ex and I went to court the smoking issue was brought up (ex smokes, I refuse to have DS around it because he's already had breathing problems several times after being exposed to smoke). Anyway.... Judge ordered ex to not smoke around DS, not to bring him in a house where people have smoked, and not bring him in a car that has been smoked in (note- it was supposed to be a car that was NEVER smoked in, since the smoke will obviously be there if he smokes on his way to pick up ds, kwim?).

So last week I was on my way to take DS to his speech therapy. His speech therapy takes place just down the road from ex's house. We were on the corner waiting to turn onto the road ex lives on (and ds's speech is on) when who should happen to drive by, in the car he picks up ds in (it's his mom's car because he refuses to stop smoking in his car), and FLICKS A CIGARETTE OUT THE WINDOW!

Boy.... I was so tempted to follow him all the way to work (he was in his work uniform so I'm assuming was on his way to work) and let it rip

But DS was obviously with me and I didn't want him to see it (and had to get him to speech).

So when he comes to pick up DS the next day (after he put DS in the car, so DS wouldn't hear any of this) I casually asked him how he suggested I keep Owen healthy (he's had a lot of ear infections and respiratory infections) when he is exposing him to smoke. He started the whole "I don't know what you're talking about, noone smokes in this car".

I had to cut him off and tell him I am not a moron and went on to describe what time I saw him, what direction he was driving, and what color shirt and hat he was wearing when he flicked the cigarette out in front of me. Boy did he look embarrassed. LOL! He was stuttering for a few seconds then managed to spit out "it's only happened once or twice". I told him I highly doubt that because if it was only once, the day before, then he would say it only happened that one time. If there was only one time other than that his brain surely wasn't that fried that he could remember it was only one other time. So I'm positive it happened more than that. So he said that he wouldn't drive that car anymore except to pick up O. Well, that turns out to be a lie too because I saw him driving it around Thursday, and he doesn't take O thursday (one more side rant and that is that he only took O once this week for 2 hours

).

Blah. So there's my rant for the week

Oh wait, one more.... the moron thinks he can bully me too. He called me up earlier this week to say that he wasn't picking up O and went on to say that he knows where I live and is "keeping an eye" on me and "one sip of beer or toke of weed" and he'd "take Owen away for good".

I'm shaking now

(not that I drink or smoke anymore, so I'm obviously not worried by his threats).

 

[Jster]

What an @$$! Sorry you have to deal with such an idiot...but at least you have a good court order on your side. Do you think he smokes around ds? Perhaps that's why his visits are so short...can't make it any longer than that

!

(And as an aside, I can't imagine living so close to ex that I actually ran into him. That would be soooo weird.)

 

[boobybunny]

Two words, RESTRAINING ORDER!

 

[MsChatsAlot]

I swear our ex's were cut from the same mould.
Mine has actually started smoking around the kids again too.

Sorry to hear that yours is doing this again too.

 

[StephandOwen]

Thanks ladies. Yes, I have a "good" court order- but a court order is worthless unless you can enforce it. So while it says he's not to smoke around DS- trying to prove it in court is an entirely different game. I don't think he's smoking when DS is at his house. His mom is there too and would kill him if she caught him smoking around DS. He might be smoking in the car when he has DS but, again, I can't prove it one way or another. So who knows. But it would explain why he refuses to take him more than 3 hours, and probably 75% of the time that he actually takes him he brings him back earlier than that.

MsChatsAlot- that sucks. Wish I had some good advice... but I've got nothing today.

 

[Jilian]

Things like that make me really mad. My STBX recently started smoking cigarettes again too (in addition to his pot smoking habit) and he sees nothing wrong with smoking with DS in the house.

Doesn't the health of their children matter to them at all? Would it KILL them to not smoke just for a little while? Sheesh. I just chalk it up to selfishness.

 

[proud mama of 2]

:HUG I'm in the same boat with you! Sorry you have to go through this. I have it written in our court papers also that Lily's Dad isn't allowed (or anyone else) to smoke around her and if she comes back smelling like smoke he gets 3 chances (I wouldn't give him any

: ). Each time I write him a letter and send a copy to his attorney ... after the 3rd time we go back to court and he's dealt with.