[sugarpop]

Ok so I am not a very emotional person...to the point that maybe I should have that looked at. DH is significantly more emotional and shows his emotion too. I don't know how to show it, is feels funny.

I am happy to be pregnant and to be a mom. I am excited to be starting my family with my DH. This was something we planned, something we both wanted...it is no suprise that we are pregnant and I am not trying to deal with mixed emotions. Financially we are ok, everything seems to be in line. That being said...I feel nothing, emotionally. I am not attached to my child, I feel no bonding...I feel nothing. I don't know if anyone can quite understand what I am trying to say. I am not depressed, I am not sad, in my brain I am happy, but emotionally...I don't know.

So now I am concerned. Will I bond when the baby is born, will the emotion come then, what if it doesnt...I am sure some dr. can give me some drug...but that isn't the solution I am looking for.

Has anyone else gone through this? It isn't a new thing, just new that it bothers me. My wedding day...unemotionaly, love my husband to the ends of the earth...but no tears nothing.

I don't know what to do, starting to think I am the only one out there that feels this way. I resent other people telling me how excited they are and how happy they are that I am pregnant...they have the emotion I want!

 

[rockdoctor]

I am also not an emotional person. As you said, you love your husband, but didn't feel the need to gush over your nuptials. The same will probably be true of your baby. You will love your baby (and I suspect do already), will care for it, protect it and be a solid rock for you and your family. No need to gush, just celebrate and be happy!

 

[rockdoctor]

Oh.... I also have had the experience of feeling that every one else is more excited about the baby than I. The jumping and squealing (yes, squeaking!) and shreiking. I swear it is like this is theirs. It also makes me feel like my emotions are inadequate. But I know deep down they are not.

 

[RunnerDuck]

I had an EXTREME case of not being able to bond with my girls when I was pregnant. (editing)

BUT now they are here and I love them to death and if anyone tried to hurt them I would claw their eyes out with my bare hands. I am very much bonded to them now... though I have to admit maybe one a teensy bit more than the other...

I think sometimes it just doesn't kick in until after birth.

(eta - new post crashing - don't know why this caught my eye... hope it helps!)

 

[BoringTales]

When I was pregnant with my 1st, it didn't really seem 'real' to me until he was actually born. I mean, my head KNEW there was a baby in there. I could feel him kicking, rolling, and knew it was true, but my heart didn't really get it until I held him in my arms.

Even with subsequent pregnancies, the emotional stuff doesn't kick in for me until after birth. If something were to happen during the pregnancy I'd be sad, of course, but all the lovely dovey head in the clouds stuff? My heart saves that for when I'm holding my baby, getting to know my baby, caring for my baby.

 

[sugarpop]

Ok you are all giving me hope! thanks for responding...it is good to know you are not alone and that it will work out. Some days I am ok with not being gushy...but my mom never was and I always wished she was more so...so I am now hoping once I hold my child in my arms the emotion and attachment will hit. I just don't want my child to ever wonder if I love him/her!

Thanks for post crashing, or posting, letting me know people are listening. It is so hard here in the real world to bear your soul...people for some reason feel free to pass judgement, more so now that I am pregnant...but that is a whole different issue.

thanks Again!!!

 

[greeny]

I did not bond with any of my kids before they were born. Both times, I was SO worried that I wouldn't love them, wouldn't bond with them, etc. And both times, I was wrong!

So I'm assuming the same will be true this time.

 

[2boyzmama]

There are lots of ways to feel emotions and express emotions, no one way is right or wrong or better or worse. I am not a big crier, there were no tears at my wedding, just excitement, and love for my husband, but not gushing tears.

I was taken aback by the emotions I felt during my first pregnancy and didn't really know how to respond to them, all my life I had learned to kind of repress emotions for fear of being a stereotypical woman (I work in a professional, male dominated environment and was terrified of turning into what I considered to be a weak woman).

I did NOT cry when my son was born (although my husband did!!), but I felt this gush of what I can only describe as "mama bear" emotions. Extreme protectiveness, that child was MINE and NO ONE was going to touch him!!! It surprised me, but I liked it!!! I am very outward with my love of my children, lots of hugs and kisses, but I didn't cry when Ian got on the school bus for the first time, I didn't cry at his first word or first step.

So yeah, it's different. It's obvious I love my children, God do I love them, I'm very attached to them, but I don't tear up over everything. I did have a few nights of sitting awake holding Connor and crying for hours when he was at his sickest and before we had a diagnosis, but it was a lost helpless feeling, something was wrong wtih my baby and I didn't know what and I couldn't fix it, that feeling was the worst in the world, it got to the core of my mama bear side.

You'll be okay. You'll find the ways to experience all the right emotions in a way that works for YOU.

 

[rockdoctor]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sugarpop Some days I am ok with not being gushy...but my mom never was and I always wished she was more so...so I am now hoping once I hold my child in my arms the emotion and attachment will hit. I just don't want my child to ever wonder if I love him/her!

OMG, are we the same person? Opening a whole different can of worms here, but I also had an emotionally distant mother and I still feel pretty unloved by her although she always did her duty and followed a strict mom code. I really don't even think she likes her kids. Anyway, not important, but I think my biggest worry is I will be too much like her and my kids won't realize how much I love them. I am going to make a real effort to have fun with my kids.