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I hate to say this, but I'm not sure if I have ever properly bonded with my son, who just turned 2 years old. He's my first child, and while I do love him I don't feel that "overwhelming" love that I have heard people describe. Even when he gets his immunization shots, I don't cry out of empathy. Don't get me wrong, I don't like watching him get his shots and crying as a result of it. However I have heard other mother's (including mine) say that they cried and got upset when they saw their babies get shots. I do feel that strong protective mother instinct, I know I would tear someone's head off if they ever tried to hurt him. Just the thought of someone hurting him bothers me. But I don't know if I bonded properly, or am I still in the process of it? I didn't breastfeed him and he was born 2 months early. I had complications with the birth and had a c-section where I was asleep, so I never heard his first cries. I'm just so confused by my feelings. I love him, but I don't feel like it's enough love. I feel like I should love him more. And I feel terrible for even admitting this. Has anyone else had this situation before?
 

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Hey there are some moms that are just more prone to crying. I certainly don't cry when my daughter gets a shot, but it will raise my heart rate and get me a little agitated to see it. If you're in general just not a super outwardly emotional person, then the relationship with your son probably won't be very different. If alternatively you feel your relationship with your DP and others is also just 'not so special' it could be some depression.<br><br>
You're not terrible for thinking this. Some days I'm not so fond of my daughter. But yes if I do think about someone hurting her it really tears into me. Loving someone is an act as well as an emotion, sometimes we might not feel it, but you can still treat him with love until the feelings return!
 

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Now that he is 2yo, you are going to see a major change in his personality. He will become a little person instead of a baby - someone you can actually hang out with and have a good time instead of it always being hard. DS and I have started having "dates" where we go shopping and out to lunch - it is a great time! And we get to spend some real, quality time together (much needed after the birth of his sister 4 months ago). Sometimes I bring him along on errands just for the company. Maybe as you enter this phase together you will be able to find your bond with him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JenMacSanDiego</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14746272"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I had complications with the birth and had a c-section where I was asleep, so I never heard his first cries.</div>
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Don't worry too much about the role your birth experience -- or lack thereof -- plays in your process of bonding with your son. I had a picture-perfect homebirth, and still had problems bonding with my daughter.<br><br>
Our entire first year was really rough, and I worried a lot about my bond with her. Recognizing my PPD and taking Fish Oil started to help that, but the real change came as she started to develop her own personality. Year 0-1 was just hard. Year 1-2 was a process of forgetting about year 0-1 and figuring out how to be a mom. And when she hit 2 and started to become more verbal and develop a personality, my bond with her really grew. She's now 2.5, and I feel like she's my best buddy. We have a blast together, and I feel closer to her each day.<br><br>
(But no, I don't cry when she gets a shot, either.)
 
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