boob-fondling for sweet dreams?

3052 Views 9 Replies 9 Participants Last post by mama_nancy, Oct 21, 2003

mama-aya

Discussion Starter · Oct 10, 2003

DS is 3.75, family bed sleeping, and (more or less) self-weaned a few months ago. I parent him to sleep every night:bath with papa & a snack, pjs, toothbrush, a chapter of whatever book we're reading, hugs and kisses (very particular sequence of hugs and kisses), then to bed where we cuddle and talk a little. Always, once he's settled and ready to go to sleep, he pulls my tshirt up and pushes into my bra if I'm wearing one, and grabs my breast. Also throughout the night when/if he needs comfort.
I'm trying to be patient, it hasn't really been all that long that he's been falling asleep without "mahk". I know its a comfort thing for him, familiar and warm and soft. But he really likes rubbing my nipples, rubbing his hands all over, and I have some small concerns that, even though the in-laws were wrong about him bfing through high school (when he was "still" nursing at one year) that I am in fact raising a future man who will only be able to think of women as cup sizes. If I could let go of that fear, I wouldn't really mind the holding, although the nipple rubbing is annoying, I don't like anyone to do that!
If I tell him I don't want him to touch my breasts, that they're feeling sensitive, etc., it takes him longer to go to sleep, and its also way more likely that I'll spend the whole sleepy night with little hands desperately seeking boobies.
Does anyone else let their kids sleep this way, and how long did you let them do so, if they are able to sleep without your breasts now? And what do you think is too old?
Thanks, Yalisha

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rrr

· #2 · Oct 10, 2003

what if you nursed him to sleep instead? 4 years old is the world weaning average. our society is ignorant and uninformed on the nurse, nourish, nurture needs of human children.

the orangutans know, though. 5 or 6 years is normal for them.

rrr

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PumpkinSeeds

· #3 · Oct 10, 2003

My 2.5 year old does something very similar. I asked my midwife about it (since I'm prego again) and she said this was a very very common thing among bf children, esp ext bf children and that it was totally normal.

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Mallory

· #4 · Oct 10, 2003

These are my thoughts on it nursing my two year old is like being on a date with a 16 year old

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mama-aya

Discussion Starter · #5 · Oct 10, 2003

Oh my gosh, Mallory, you are so right! That is too funny!
rrr, I am glad that he doesn't bf anymore! 31/2 sweet years was long enough for us. I don't have any milk left anyway.
He's pretty good about calming down the hyper-twiddling when I ask him too. It doesn't really bother me, though it does sometimes bother dh. I just wanted some reassurance, I guess, that this was normal, or else some ideas to chill out the nightly grope sessions!
y

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spamama

· #6 · Oct 14, 2003

Oh gosh! I cannot get my son to stop doing this. He's 20.5 months, and he gets hysterical when I cover up the free boob. I've tried everything: holding his hand, wearing a bra to bed, covering my nipple, etc. If he can't twiddle, he switches sides immediately and tries to grab on to the boob he just got off at the same time. He's too clever, and sometimes I'm too tired to stop him. But really, it's annoying and he rubs my nipple raw. It's not a pleasant patting sensation, but a constant rubbing and twisting. HELP! I'm afraid if this continues I may nightwean him, which will effectively wean him altogether.

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homesteader

· #7 · Oct 16, 2003

ladies, i don't mean to laugh but i've been going through the same things! my laughing is more a relief laugh b/c i've been worried as well about ds being a 6 yo groper.

he tweedles & actually takes his finger or thumb & inverts my nipple(sticks his finger right on the end of the nipple & pushes it inside). this really hurts sometimes, especially if his fingernails need clipped!

i have recently started to ween him from this. i don't know anything about weening so i'm just winging it. i let him do it every now & then and started off slowly.

i started "cutting him off" during his awake nursing sessions by telling him that it hurts mommy(he understands what hurt means) and keeping my shirt over the breast. i use my arm/hand to keep him from getting to it even if he does get under the shirt. i hope that made sense. sometimes i'll get a hand in the face b/c he's searching around & the hand comes out the neckhole. he fusses and switches but luckily he's mostly a right-handed tweedler so when he switches to the left breast he doesn't fight it so hard.

another thing that has helped him back off is that i ask him to be gentle. i've worked with him from an early age to be gentle with the pets and it seems to help in this case too. it reminds him not to be rough. i will physically take his hand and pat my breast with it when he's really getting out of control and say "gentle".

we've been working at it for a few weeks now and i can see a small difference so i know there is hope.

before this started and even just after he started tweedling i poo-pooed the nursing necklaces...little did i know! i hope this helps in some way.

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ctdoula

· #8 · Oct 16, 2003

:LOL Mallory, that's so funny & TRUE. I've said that to people too, it's like being groped by a 6th grader, LOL. My dd loves to rub the other one & plays with a mole between my breasts. It makes me nutty. I swear there is a nerve going directly from there to my spine or something, LOL. I tuck my shirt into my bra & hold my hand there to try to keep her away... usually doesn't work. Her other favorite thing to do is put her hand up my shirt rubbing until she's practially at my neck (so her hand is up over my collar & arm under the shirt). Makes for very descreet nursing in public

:
Amy

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Gladmom

· #9 · Oct 17, 2003

This is so nice to know I'm not alone! Not only does dd do this at night, but even just carrying her around during the day. She sucks on her two fingers and shoves her other hand down my shirt to do some twiddling. VERY irritating and embarrassing if we are out in public. I now ask her to "hold mommy's ear" and she will "twiddle" my earlobe. Seems to work sometimes

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mama_nancy

· #10 · Oct 21, 2003

i think 16 yo like boobies so much cuz it reminds them of their mamas...

my son does this too. i noticed if i put a new necklace on he gets more interested in that. sometimes i find something for him to hold. other times i just tolerate it.

one time i kept covering it up and he would pull my hand away but then i would cover it back up as soon as he let go of my hand. then he held onto my hand for awhile and looked longingly at my nipple as if it were calling to him. he then cranked his foot up to my hand and held my hand back with his chubby little foot. i was so impressed with his problem solving i let him tweak away.

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