Books for DH

I found it helpful to pick up a book myself, read through it, tape flag and highlight the parts I wanted DH to read and tell him that... he was not interested in reading an entire book on birth but found marked passages helpful.

If he'll get fired up by it the Wagner book (Born in the USA) will turn him off of OBs forever LOL For something more middle of the road -- I'd try thinking Woman's Guide or Birth Your Way.

I really wanted my dh to read The Birth Partner, but he didn't really want to read anything. I think he skimmed through it. My mom, however, bought it herself upon my suggestion and read it cover to cover (and you could tell you had and who hadn't when I was in labor).

As far as anything else goes, I just read him aloud parts that I wanted him to hear or handed the book over and said "here, read this part" and he usually complied (like the section on not circumsizing in S. Kitzinger's book).

Christa

I was just thinking about this question today. I'm not sure what I will pick... I have a lot of books but don't want to overwhelm him too much. I think maybe something good, solid, and reference based (like Kitzinger's book, which I already own), and maybe Ina May's guide? I'm hoping that a good childbirth ed class will help guide him to the questions he has and then he can consult the books. I don't know about this one! But we're definitely staying at home.

My DP (now XP - that's another story...) was worried i'd die if we tried to HB so i gave him Birth Your Way (Kitzinger) to read and he came back 3 weeks later and said he knew i was more likely to die in hospital and from then on was all about the HB and VERY supportive. THen, though he was keen, he was a bit worried about how it would be, so i hand-picked birth stories from INa Mays Spiritual Midwifery and Guide to Childbirth for him to read, and that settled him.

On the day, in transition (40minutes after i'd been found to be 2-3cm, 25% effaced, 2 hours before my DD appeared despite me only pushing after she was fully crowned) i cried and said i'd have to go into hosptial for an epidural because i HAD to push and he kept me so calm, and helped me concentrate on roaring to let the "push" out. In retrospect of course i probably should have been pushing, but my midwife nearly fell over with shock when she went to do my 2nd VE and DD was crowning....

"The Year After Childbirth"

"Breastfeeding Pure and Simple"

and videos - I really like the 3 R's video from Penny Simkin, Birth Day (Naoli Vinaver) and almost any waterbirth video. Don't expect him to read a whole full-length book about birth, unless he's really into it. He probably won't. Websites are good, as are bulleted lists of things that are important to you. Printouts of the abstracts of studies are good, as are discussions of how neonatal resuscitation is dealt with at home vs. hospital (the reason I choose home as the safest option - after receiving my NRP certification. Hospitals are scary in how they act in these circumstances and I've seen too much, too often of this). A good class that's taught by an independent instructor (BFW, CAPPA, ALACE, BirthWorks, etc) can go a long way toward helping him, as can attendance at visits with your midwife. Many partners find themselves doubtful at first, and loud homebirth advocates by 6 weeks postpartum!

What about sharing Henci Goer's Thinking Woman's Guide to Childbirth? Some of those essays are pretty enlightening...