Books on Parenting (HELP ME)!!!

Oh I feel your frustrations! My DS does the same thing right now . I know that the one thing that stops him in his tracks is when his Daddy says his name in a stern voice, however since we all know that DH is not around all the time, I have learned to work it on my own.

The only thing I can say that has worked for me is consisitancy. My DS was running towards the street during my first trimester when I could keep up with him. After about 20 times of running after him, snatching him back and telling him that he can get hurt by a car if he runs into the street, he has FINALLY stopped running that far away from me. He does push the limits every day to see how far he can go, but I have found that MOST days I can call to him and ask him to do something for me that distracts him until I can get closer to him. For example, if he starts running off I will call out, "Calvin, can you show me how you jump?" He stops in his tracks and jumps up and down. I clap and tell him how great he is doing.

Now granted it doesn't work every single time, but enough that I feel safe enough to let him walk ahead of me. Toddlers are stubborn . I think they all go through that stage. I try not to discipline with time out or anything else unless it is truly called for. I want it to actually mean something when I do it. And I have found that distraction is a wonderful tool for me when I need to change my toddler's direction. Good luck. Know that their are others out there with the same issues.

2yo boys suck, in my experience. I had two of them, about 2 years ago, and it SUCKED. I was also pregnant, like you. Now I have a 2yo girl, and it's not AS bad, but 2yos are just so willful and hedonistic. That can be charming, but not when it's manifested in running for the street, as mine did at that age.

I don't really know of any parenting books that help with that age -- it's kind of young for anything but consistency, ya know? -- but I can tell you that it's a stage. My only real solution was to use the stroller and just to stay inside. We totally stayed inside for months. Not fun. When they got closer to 3yo, things got a lot better. Now they're over 4yo and I really like this age. Except when they drive me crazy.

There is a book called Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hillary Flower put out by LLL. It is okay, but it does not have very many specific advice ideas...it has general ideas with several different parents' experiences noted throughout the book.

There is also a book by Elizabeth Pantley called the No Cry Discipline Solution and she has one called Kid Cooperation. I have not read the ones by Elizabeth Pantley, but I have read the No Cry Sleep Solution (both books...she has one for babies and one for toddlers and preschoolers) and I found them to be really helpful so I'd like to read these two soon.

I try to reserve my stern voice for situations that are dangerous so that my DS will know I mean business. That was a Dr. Sears recommendation that I liked, although I have had to full on chase DS anyways several times. I am going to try to avoid all situations that have the potential for road running in the final months.

It is so scary, isn't it? I fantasize about blocking off the ends of my street so no cars can drive anywhere near the house.

Oh, do I feel your pain! Thomas is in the full swing of running away, hitting, and all sorts of lovely toddler behavior.

This probably isn't very AP... but the most effective thing that's stopped him in his tracks is the threat of going inside. Thomas LOVES being outdoors. If he starts running down the driveway, I say, "Thomas, turn around now. You can play up here, or you can go inside to your room." 90% of the time, he thinks about it, then turns around towards me. This only works because I really do take him inside if he doesn't listen.

I wish I could recommend a book. We had Thomas's psych eval last week (he is speech delayed) and the psychologist said what we were doing is fine, just to keep calm about the whole thing. Which he admits can be hard to do!!

I wish you luck. And I really do park my car towards the end of the driveway. It doesn't help the running, but when he's in his little tikes car, it sort of serves as a psychological barrier.

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How do I get my toddler to listen? When all else fails, the same way my parents and my grandparents and my great-grnadparents and my great-great grandparents and......so on.....got their toddlers to listen.

I cannot recommend any books for you. Best of luck!

Duct tape him to a chair. Feed him periodically through the day and hand him a couple toy cars to play with. That should do it!

j/k!!! :

Seriously, Sears Gentle Discipline book was nice, as is Playful Parenting. My ds is on the Autism Spectrum so he's what I consider "extra." Extra boy, extra kid, extra active, extra smart, extra energetic, extra movement, extra headaches, extra stress, extra work, extra HELL. : He's a doll and I love him, of course. : But he is EXTRA at everything. His name is Max and it really fits because he does everything to the MAX. (Hm. Maybe we should have named him something w/ less connotation to it. Maybe George or Silas or Wilmer. )

It takes a lot of patience. Max is 18 mos older than dd, so that was a REALLY rough time during my pregnancy and after she was born. See if you can send him off to the grandparents a couple days a week to get some peace for yourself. It helps.

Oh, the running off thing! I forgot to address that. I know MANY ppl think harnesses are awful horrible things, but they are a LIFE SAVER for us. It was the only way I could keep ds near me. Harnesses have been called kiddie dog leashes and frankly those ppl just don't have my son so they can shut up about that which they know not. :

It helps. And it's NOT a dog leash! It keeps your child near you and safe.

Some books/authors I have enjoyed and found helpful who discuss respectful, positive guidance techniques (I have working been in the field of Early Childhood Dev for 20 yrs and there is a lot of *junk* out there!)

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/index.html

http://www.positivediscipline.com/

http://www.roslynduffy.com/

I know I am missing a few *experts* that I feel have a philosophy/approach you would probably agree with but these are just off the top of my head -

Like the poster above me, I did use a harness/leash with my very active child (now 13) when she was young and liked to wander in public- I just told people who gave me a dirty look that I figured they would rather see her on a *leash* than on the news or a milk carton (as a missing child) - she is STILL a wanderer! ~rolling my eyes~ it is just her nature - she can't stay still for a second and loves to expore!

The key (in my experience) is to be consistant and clear with active/alert kids like this - if you start now while they are 2 it is easy for them to accept when they are older - give choices when you can ("do you want to wear the yellow shirt or the blue shirt today" "do you want carrots or peas" simple and clear - be firm yet kind when giving choices) - get down on their eye level and state the facts in a calm voice - remove them from a situation when it is not safe, sometimes they just need to *tantrum* for a minute or two to "decompress" and get it all out - when they are done teach them to take a deep breath and *start over* (we grownups do that too sometimes when things are overwhelming - lol they just don't have the ability to get away like we do )

I just wanted to extend my hand in empathy...