Hi Eirrak,
I'm right there with you! I've really liked the two books that Aster mentions.
Two other books that have been very helpful are:
* The Secret of Parenting by Anthony Wolf
*Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.
These two books have really transformed my interactions with DD and are giving me concrete examples/models for how I want to parent her as she becomes increasingly independent. I also loved the book Everyday Blessings by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn for ongoing inspiration and perspective.