books?

1417 Views 23 Replies 17 Participants Last post by flyingspaghettimama, Sep 24, 2005

sophmama

Discussion Starter · Jun 5, 2005

I'm just curious about any books or articles you've read that make you feel like you've made the right choice for you and your family about being a SAHM.

One of my favorites was Home by Choice by Dr. Brenda Hunter

Also this article was very thought provoking for me:

http://www.taemag.com/issues/article...cle_detail.asp

1 - 20 of 24 Posts

Amys1st

· #2 · Jun 16, 2005

Lets see-

Dr Sears books
The tightwad gazette (even though some is a bit- well out there!)
The womanly Art
A Simple Choice
Miserly Moms
All Mothering bi-monthly issues that come in the mail

All the scrapbooks I made for DD and seeing all the things that I was there to witness!
All of her books we read together because its me or dh reading them to her!

snuggly mama

· #3 · Jun 16, 2005

When my first child was born, I read some books that really touched me. I think they are out of print now, though. I liked What's a Smart Woman Like You Doing At Home? and I think the other one was called Sequencing -- something about doing it all, just not all at once!

traceface

· #4 · Jun 16, 2005

I read such a great book, Maternal Desire by Daphne de Marneffe - it is such an interesting book, focuses more on what staying with your baby and small children does for the mother, (as opposed to the usual emphasis - a sacrifice you are making for the future, for your children's well-being)

I highly recommend it!

sophmama

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 16, 2005

Traceface, that sounds like an interesting book!

crystallynn

· #6 · Jun 19, 2005

I think that book would be great. I'm going to look it up.

mommy2girlies

· #7 · Jun 19, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amys1st
Lets see-

All the scrapbooks I made for DD and seeing all the things that I was there to witness!
All of her books we read together because its me or dh reading them to her!

i totally agree!!! i took so many pics of my first that i totally filled a scrapbook BEFORE her first birthday!!

: but i must admit even staying home w/ my second, i still take tons of pictures, but somehow i can't find the time to scrapbook, they're all still in the computer :LOL

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mcimom

· #8 · Jun 20, 2005

My favorite all-time SAHM comment was made by GK Chesterton in "What's Wrong with the World?"

from the chapter "The Emancipation of Domesticity"

Quote:

When domesticity, for instance is called drudgery....if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then I say, I give it up; I do not know what the word means....deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays...providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books...teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's (SAHM's) function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.

kris10s

· #9 · Jun 24, 2005

I love Chesterton, I've got to read that!

mommy2twinboys

· #10 · Jun 24, 2005

I read 7 Myths of Working Mothers: Why Children and (Most) Careers Just Don't Mix by Suzanne Venker. It is a great book! Made me really feel like I made the right choice.

ekblad9

· #11 · Jul 2, 2005

You all must read "Being There" By Isabelle Fox!!! It is so good! I can't believe I've been a SAHM for all these years feeling "lucky", "lazy", and like I was doing it for me and not for the kids. This book is so awesome!

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Naughty Dingo

· #12 · Jul 5, 2005

Thanks for these titles. I just requested "Being There" and "Maternal Desire" from the library. Can't wait 'til theyre in. YEAH!

Mom4tot

· #13 · Jul 13, 2005

Thanks everyone, great list

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aprons_and_acorns

· #14 · Jul 15, 2005

Can I add two books?

The Price of Motherhood by Anne Crittenden

The Second Shift by Arlie Hoschild

Both of these books remind me of how hard it can be to juggle motherhood and career, and even though my mom always encouraged me to "have it all", a fullfilling career and children and marriage, I just don't want it.

Great list so far!

Amys1st

· #15 · Jul 15, 2005

Another book I found interesting- The two Income Trap . Its by Elizabeth someone who is a prof at Harvard. She co authored this book w her daughter. One thing I took away from this read- its easier to survive as an one income family than two income if one was to loose their job. Reason being- when there are two incomes, they both usually factor into household expenses- example, qualify for a mortgage on BOTH incomes not just one or pay rent from both incomes. So if someone gets laid off/job loss, there goes your roof over your head.

mamawanabe

· #16 · Jul 15, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amys1st
Another book I found interesting- The two Income Trap . Its by Elizabeth someone who is a prof at Harvard. She co authored this book w her daughter. One thing I took away from this read- its easier to survive as an one income family than two income if one was to loose their job. Reason being- when there are two incomes, they both usually factor into household expenses- example, qualify for a mortgage on BOTH incomes not just one or pay rent from both incomes. So if someone gets laid off/job loss, there goes your roof over your head.

It is a interesting book, but it doesn't advocate single earning families (rather it is an indictment of wage stagnation and housing inflation. The authors actually advocate school vouchers so parents don't need to use both their incomes in order to afford a morgage in a good school district and one parent's salary can then be banked for disasters). They argue that American families needing two incomes to remain middle class makes these families one disaster away from finacial ruin, but the book doesn't suggest that one income is better than two or that two incomes is the problem. The problem, according to the book, is house prices, consumer habits, and wage stagnation.

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sincitymama

· #17 · Jul 15, 2005

Maybe not exactly what you're looking for here, but I've just finished Gavin De Becker's Protecting The Gift and it really helped me feel better about being so 'protective' and 'controlling' of ds's experiences.

I'm definitley putting some of these other titles on my wish list!

sophmama

Discussion Starter · #18 · Sep 23, 2005

I just saw this in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

It's about women at elite colleges in big career degrees that plan to SAHM for their kids.

UUMom

· #19 · Sep 23, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sophmama
I just saw this in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

It's about women at elite colleges in big career degrees that plan to SAHM for their kids.

Whoa--that is really surprising to me. Maybe some of these young adults are remembering not being cared for? I am surprised more young women aren't saying they would want to switch off with their partners on child care issues.

I mean, OK. *I* want to be the one home, doing the bulk of the kid thang during the day, but I am surprised so many of these women want that as well...

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UUMom

· #20 · Sep 23, 2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamawanabe
It is a interesting book, but it doesn't advocate single earning families (rather it is an indictment of wage stagnation and housing inflation. The authors actually advocate school vouchers so parents don't need to use both their incomes in order to afford a morgage in a good school district and one parent's salary can then be banked for disasters). They argue that American families needing two incomes to remain middle class makes these families one disaster away from finacial ruin, but the book doesn't suggest that one income is better than two or that two incomes is the problem. The problem, according to the book, is house prices, consumer habits, and wage stagnation.

I didn't read this book, but I recently read an article in Yankee Magazine by the authors. And in *that* article these same authors * did* state that one income families were better off. Since these families were not relying on two incomes to meet all of their needs, if the time came when more $ was needed or desired, the person traditionally without a job culd get one. That money would pay for increased needs/standard of living etc. This second income could be gravy or a net, basically.

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