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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Alright. I'm a messy person. The only reason that the kitchen is clean most of the time is because I just don't cook. We either live on cereal and sandwiches, or we eat out. When I do cook, the kitchen looks like it does right now. Not a clean dish in sight.

My laundry pile is like Mt. Everest. We donated 5 HUGE trashbags of clothes, threw away another 2 that were not worthy of Goodwill when we moved. There's stuff everywhere, and nothing ever gets done.



I don't know how to train myself to keep a clean house! I just don't feel like doing anything, though I'm almost 8 months preggo, I never felt like doing it before, either. We're planning on finding a home for our pets that we just can't care for once the baby comes, so that will help, I think. I'm just lazy.


What do you do? How do you do it? My mom wasn't an exemplary role model in the housekeeping department, and my Future MIL didn't teach SO how to do ANYTHING household related. That's a BIG reason that I don't cook most of the time. I'm the only one who knows how to cook anything beyond PB&J!

The messyness has gotten much better since we moved in July. We tossed/donated SO MUCH that we just didn't use. Before SO and I moved in togeter my place was clean just because I was a true minamalist. He makes Packrats look like Buddhists. This man has 4x's as many shoes as I do, and no less than 50 pair of underwear. He even still has his D.A.R.E. certificate from when he was in 3rd grade (a lot of good THAT did him!!). I'd be happy getting rid of everything but the couch, DVD's, and the computer. He can't understand why to get rid of anything as long as it's still useable (whether or not he actually USES it is another story).
:

I don't want my child to grow up to be a pig like us. I want to instill in him what it means to be a clean person,
but living this way won't do that. I just want to know how you do it. How do you remember to do these things? Honestly, sometimes I just forget that the dishes are there. I just don't think about doing laundry, and obviously, it never gets done.

Thanks for letting me vent, and please, just tell me how you do it!!!

 

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First off - don't worry too much. My mom grew up in a spotless house, and never kept hers that way. The excessive cleanliness and obsessive tidiness made her rebel. Our house was always clean, but never, ever tidy (of course mom and dad were both packrats of different kinds, as well). It was cluttered and I found it very homey.

That said. Once you ahve a baby, you won't forget about laundry. You'll probably always be behind on it (I am), but you won't forget it. Baby clothes covered in poop, pee and spitup aren't something one forgets to wash for long. My approach to laundry for dh, ds1 and myself is just hampers. When the hamper's full, the load goes in the wash. Sometimes, honestly, I forget to dry it until I put the next load in.


My kitchen usually looks like a tornado hit it. I wipe up spills asap and put caked on dishes to soak. We have a dishwasher...sometimes the table has been set straight out of the dishwasher two nights running, then I get around to unloading it and putting the new stack of dirty plates in. I use a lot of "short cut" approaches. When I boil eggs, I make sure there's a dirty pan in the sink before I pour the hot water off...helps to cut the grease. If something is in the sink, I never take it back out if I need the sink for something else. I wash it, then put the strainer in to drain pasta or whatever. It does help. But, the kitchen's a mess...it's just a mostly clean mess.


I doubt you're lazy - you just have a different focus. Try to concentrate on keeping clean and the clutter will follow to some extent. (I can't wash the floor until I pick up everything on it, for example.) Good luck with it...and kudos for thinking about it ahead of time!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Lula's Mom, Thanks for the link. I'll try it. I already did the first thing on the list! My sink looks gorgeous.

Storm Bride, I am lazy. I'm really really lazy. I love being lazy. I pretty much eat, sleep, surf the net, and watch movies. That's my life outside work, anyway.

My goal is to get the house clean and maintain. I can ususally do it for a week or so, then the slide into chaos ensues, and we're living in a garbage heap all over again.

I'm trying that 'Baby Steps' plan, though, and I hope it gets me into some kind of routine. Here is me crossing my fingers!!
 

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It probably won't come for a few months- until you have someone crawling around and putting the mess in their mouths. For me, once Alex started grabbing was the point where housework got important (you know, relatively speaking.)
www.mymessyhouse.com worked for me, as did reading Home Time, by Jocasta Innes. It can be done, but heavily pregnant isn't the easiest time to start.
 

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:

I feel your pain.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Aaah, Flapjack, that makes since!! I'm sure things will change when that starts!!

I'll check out the site and the book, and see which things might help.

Maybe I just need to get a bunch of chocoalte and label the bag 'For After Chores ONLY'. That might work!
 

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Once you get on top of it, you'll have another rough spot. It gets tough again when there's a toddler following you around undoing everything you do. But, perservere! They do get over it.
 

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I do the flylady thing to a point. But not all of it. It's too unrealistic with small children in the home. Getting rid of clutter is a great first step! Less to clean and organize. Just get a system going: morning chores, afternoon chores, evening chores. Don't put too much on your plate. Just the basics. I know very few full time involved moms who have a **** and span house.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
USAmma, I have talked to SO about organising the house before the baby comes.
I told him that if we start off with the babe in a clean house, it might be easier to simply maintain. I also want to start rotating the winter and summer clothes each year. Right now it's just a big mix, and it's way too much to have to deal with. I'll have to box up the clothes as I wash them, I guess!

Storm Bride, I've been reading about these 3 year olds. I'm getting scared!


I don't need a spit-shined sheen over my home. I just need to have no more than one sink full of dishes at any time. Only two toys on the floor at a time for longer than a day. I feel like I just need a house that isn't messy. Not nessecarily clean, just not that messy.

I'm hoping to get it together this weekend. I need my house to be pretty close to spotless by the 11th. My families are coming for the baby shower. It's better that my Dad, His Wife, my Little Bro, My Mom, Her Girlfriend, my Aunt, and all of Carlo's brood NOT see the house the way it looks right now.


Thanks for all of the advice, ladies! I have to clean Mt. Everest by the 12th... Good luck to me!
 

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I think you either get the clean gene or you don't, and it must skip a generation because my mom is extremely tidy and clean and yet I just can't seem to make the effort. I'd like to but it just seems like too much work! Every time I call her--and she's over 60--she's cleaning windows, ironing or doing something equally freakish.


Anyway, I've tried Flylady and I think she's awesome but too hard w/ a little one! So I read The Sidetracked Home Executive (I think that's the title) and modified their system and here it is: First, I got a pack of multi-colored notecards and divided them (by color) into Daily, Weekly, Monthly, and Special. Then I wrote a task on each, like make bed, empty dishwasher, do load of laundry, etc. For special I have things like clean ceiling fans, clean garage, etc.

I try to do the daily ones but I don't sweat it. I mean, I *could* be sweeping my floor right now, but I would rather be online! I use my ds first morning naptime as the time to do chores--and that's it.

On Saturdays I get out my card file and pull all the weekly/daily cards that I think need to be done plus 1 or 2 monthly and a special if I'm feeling spunky. Then we sit down, deal and trade. It's actually kind of fun. We give ourselves 2 hrs. to complete the tasks and that's it for the week. On the cards I write the date we did the monthly/specials so they don't get pulled again. When ds is older he'll play too.

It doesn't always work--last weekend the baby was fussy, then a game was on, then we got lazy, then it was Monday
. I just can't waste my time getting too chuffed about it. I cook almost every meal and I keep a small human alive and happy. That's enough!
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Newbymom, I salute you! You seem like you have it down pretty well. My granny could clean rust off a bumper with her spit. She was a crazy clean lady!! To say that her house was immaculate would be an understatement. I'll check that out, and see what I can use from it.

My house just seems so unmanageable sometimes. I do the clean thing, and then for the next week I do nothing. That's been the cycle.

I can think of so many things that need to be done today that I'm not going to do.
 

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Have you found the Decluttering Forum here yet? I spend the time that I should be cleaning reading it. Somehow it makes me feel like I've done something
. I think the forum is listed under Natural Family Living. There have been threads about exactly how many clothes one should own, and other interesting things.
 

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the only thing that works for me is routine.
every morning when we get up, i sweep and vaccuum the downstairs before i do anything else. then breakfast, then i wash diapers, and i wash dishes by hand as i go.

i hate folding laundry, so i don't do dhs anymore. that really cuts down on my laundry, and he can handle 2 loads a week of his own.

i am the packrat of our family, but i recently got rid of over 2/3s of my clothes, and a bunch of other junk. since your dh is your packrat, have him take care of his own things. he can wash those 50 pairs of underwear, it might convince him to get rid of some.

i pick up in the afternoon before dh gets home, and he picks up before bed and does the dinner dishes. every weekend we clean the whole house, alternating weekends.

things are a lot less overwhelming now that we are sharing the load and have a routine in place. i feel that my full time job is raising the kids, and his is going to school. we should share the housework.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by jgreer
Three words. Scheduling, Self Discipline.

Your getting rid of pets because you're having a baby? I can't imagine that.
Well, we are in a small 1 bedroom, have 2 cats, 2 guinea pigs, and a fish. We had 2, but the little guy gave out this week. He was 2 1/2 years old, Bless His little Soul!

I have been thinking about it, and I feel like I've been neglecting my animals (the guinea pigs especially) and I feel like it's just too much. I'll probably feel it out, though, and if it's not bad, keep them. They're my babies! I love them so much, but they don't smell good (I even bathe them 2x's a month) and it triggers my morning sickness. Plus, I'm sure all of the hair isn't good for a baby.

Mbhf, good job with your routine. I hope to get into one myself!
 

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i totally understand getting rid of the pets. we have two terribly neglected kitties, and one of them has started peeing on the kids things, i believe out of resentment. we are sending her to live with my parents when we go down for thanksgiving. we also got a dog dropped on us by our neighbors, and she is going to a no kill shelter in va when we go down. the pets were too much for us. see how it goes, but i don't think you should feel guilty for giving them to loving homes if you don't feel up to caring for them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by mbhf
i totally understand getting rid of the pets. we have two terribly neglected kitties, and one of them has started peeing on the kids things, i believe out of resentment. we are sending her to live with my parents when we go down for thanksgiving. we also got a dog dropped on us by our neighbors, and she is going to a no kill shelter in va when we go down. the pets were too much for us. see how it goes, but i don't think you should feel guilty for giving them to loving homes if you don't feel up to caring for them.
That's how I see it. With the Guinea Pigs, they're the sweetest, cutest, most loving little piggies, and I really feel like they deserve to be played with more.

Our oldest kitty was born 5 days after we conceived. Well, seeing as I didn't find out until I was 8 weeks along, he's our little baby Murray. We found this kitten (who looks EXACTLY like the kitty we already have) outside when it was freezing. They get along, and play a lot, but I think that Murray is jealous. I'm afraid of him being jealous when the little bambino comes along!

It's most likely that one or the other will find a new home. The piggies won't get jealous, and can't hurt the baby. But, they don't really understand affection, so a cat is a more fulfilling pet as far as that goes. It's really tough. I love all of them, and don't want to see any of them go, but it really is better for them.
 
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